16 December 2011

Pointlessness

Children starve in lawless Somalia while the great Amazonian rainforest shrinks with each passing hour. Glaciers recede to reveal scoured landscapes never seen before as unemployed workers across the western world wonder where their futures lie. But what are numerous members of the English Women's Institute doing? Why, my friend, they are knitting cakes! Yes. Not baking cakes that people can eat but knitting replica cakes and buns!

Since completing her Masters degree, Lady Pudding has discovered extra hours to fill and so she thought she'd give the Women's Institute a try. At the second meeting in a church hall in the city centre, "secret Santa" presents were exchanged and she ended up with a practical guidebook to knitting her own cakes - complete with free patterns and illustrations. Here it is:-



My mother used to be a staunch member of the W.I. in the village where I was born - Nazareth in East Yorkshire. They made jam and chutney and useful things for the home like lampshades and baskets before singing "Jerusalem" and going home. They never knitted bloody cakes! What would you do with a knitted cake once it was finished? Torment children with it? Feed it to knitted teddy bears? Or, most likely, just ram it in a cupboard and forget about it.

What a mad world we live in. Here are some cakes I knitted earlier:-

11 comments:

  1. Ah, So that's what you Yorkshire folk get up to!

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  2. Well I could always torment Keith with it! ;)

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  3. What is this world coming to? Nothing could be more useless than a knitted cake! Those ladies, as we musicians say, seem to have resonance where their brains ought to be.*

    *not original with me; I'm quoting Anna Russell.

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  4. Well, as Mike Harding says, "everyone needs a hobby".

    Actually, this could help us win the war on obesity. On a diet of knitted cakes, all you'd have to do if you get a bit porky is catch yourself on a nail and unravel it off.

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  5. Well, as Mike Harding says, "everyone needs a hobby".

    Actually, this could help us win the war on obesity. On a diet of knitted cakes, all you'd have to do if you get a bit porky is catch yourself on a nail and unravel it off.

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  6. Shades of Calendar Girls there...
    It's nice to know that the old country is remaining as odd as when I left its drizzled shores a decade ago.
    At least if it's pure wool, the cakes have good roughage...

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  7. What do they taste like?

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  8. Actually this makes me CROSS. Okay, everyone needs a hobby - - but oh goodness me, I really don't like that kind of middle-aged woman who wants to indulge in such ridiculous, pointless activity. If you've that much time on your hands make something useful for goodness' sake! PAH!

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  9. I think the idea of knitting cakes is hilarious. It's amazing that anyone can come up with this idea and then actually have a book published!! I know some-one in this country who would love that book, they knit quirky tea cosies and what would me more appropriate than a tea and cake cosy.
    I hope you haven't despatched it to the recycle bin...

    Ms Soup

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  10. I think they are pretty silly too though when visiting your shores recently we saw a whole village scene that had been created by knitting but I guess you could call that art???
    Knee rugs for the elderly would be a much better idea.
    Cheers

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  11. Those cakes are crocheted - NOT knitted!!

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