So there I am in the kitchen. My famous bolognese sauce that has simmered since two thirty in the afternoon is ready as are the roasted mushrooms, the courgette slices and the garlic bread. The parmesan cheese has been grated. I am draining off the wholewheat spaghetti. Frances has just got here from work but Phoebe has been with us all day. Stewart arrived with Margot half an hour ago.
The telephone rings and Shirley brings me the handset, telling me that it is a call from the health centre. I am speaking to a receptionist.
ME Yes I am.
RECEPTIONIST Can you be available to take a phone call from a doctor tomorrow?
ME Yes I can.
RECEPTIONIST Would you prefer morning or afternoon?
ME Afternoon please. I have got something on in the morning.
RECEPTIONIST Okay. I have put you down for an afternoon call.
ME Do you know what this is all about?
RECEPTIONIST It's about the stool sample you provided.
ME My stool sample? But that was ages ago. This sounds quite ominous.
RECEPTIONIST The doctor will explain everything tomorrow.
I continue to plate up the evening meal but now I am distracted and not a little worried. Have I got bowel cancer? After blood was found in my stool sample, I had a colonoscopy which I blogged about here. Did they find something at the lab? Oh my God! I should have not have ordered those new shoes from the Clarks online store.
Friday April 25th 12.40
After a fitful night's sleep, I travelled into the city centre for an interview I had arranged with my bank. I had a full English breakfast at The Moor Market before catching an 88 bus back home. I am home before 11.00 whereupon Shirley tells me that a doctor has already phoned even though my call was scheduled for the afternoon.
This must be serious! Never mind, I have had a pretty good life - I cannot complain. There were a few places I still wanted to go and maybe I should have written a novel or two but hell, it was basically okay. I hope that Phoebe will remember me. Margot is probably too young. 71 is not a bad age to die.
At 12.15 the phone rings again. It is a locum doctor that I have never met.
As half-expected, it is not long before I realise that the doctor I have never previously met has either failed to track back through my computerised notes or has no record of my colonoscopy on March 31st. There was no need for me to be anxious at all. It's basically a communication issue. I know more than the doctor knows but helpfully she asks me to phone the consultant gastroenterologist's secretary to get follow-up findings.
I tell the doctor that I am very relieved and that I will be able to sleep soundly in my bed tonight.
Much ado about nothing.
I am no different. It's not just a weird, hurting spot on my clavicle, it's cancer. It wasn't just a lump in my breast, it was cancer (it was a cyst in my breast). The ovary that they removed 20 years ago was not cancerous either. I have made my peace with death more than a few times, and yet, here we are.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it wasn't anything awful and I hope you sleep well.
Well, that's alright then! Go ahead and enjoy those new shoes!
ReplyDeleteThings like this happen far too often. Stress is not good for someone with high blood pressure and they needlessly stressed you out. I'm glad you're here for more time, you can still write that novel... or two.
ReplyDeleteHowever, we do worry about the unknown. The word cancer attracts our attention. I've had a few colonoscopies. They're not nice.
ReplyDeleteI still don't get it - what did the doctor ring for? Was there an explanation at all? And why did she ring well before the afternoon?
ReplyDeleteThis is all very confusing, but of course I am very glad to learn that it was much ado about nothing. I hope your very nice sounding meal (apart from the wholemeal spaghetti - I must admit I much prefer the regular ones) still tasted alright in spite of your understandable distraction and worry.
Glad to hear everything is okay, 71 is far too young to die.
ReplyDeleteOh how distressing.
ReplyDeleteMuch ado about nothing indeed. At 71 you are far too young to even contemplate your demise. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other - and remember to breathe!
ReplyDeleteHow is the diet going?
Not good for your heart rate!!
ReplyDeleteThat's terrible that they scared you like that.
ReplyDeleteI hate these sorts of calls. I had one due to the results of a test at the end of last year. "Dr. Z. would like to call you tomorrow morning to discuss the results of your Cologuard test."
ReplyDeleteUh. I'd rather not, thank you. But of course you do it, thinking you're about to die, and then comes the colonoscopy and all is fine and well, no worries.
Meanwhile, we are getting grayer by the day.
Thank goodness your worries were unfounded. The wait to hear back from tests can be unsettling and your mind goes into overdrive, in this case, because the doctor had failed to look properly.
ReplyDeleteNothing to worry about until the next time. Doctors, receptionists, hospitals never seem to synchronise, and patients spend endless hours chasing them and agonising over possible results.
ReplyDeleteI hate when they do that. Gets a person all worked up and worried for absolutely no reason at all. Hope you have a relaxing weekend, Neil.
ReplyDeleteSo they were basically calling to say, "You had blood in your stool and you need a colonoscopy"? Well, that is a very NHS story, I must say. As much as I love the NHS they have done the same to us many times -- calling to give test results that we actually already got ages ago. I'm sorry you had to worry!
ReplyDelete