Yesterday's blogpost was all about dad jokes so in the interests of gender balance, this post is concerned with mum jokes. Actually, I am thinking about jokes about mums rather than the kind of jokes that mums might habitually deliver. At the risk of offending any mums who visit this strange corner of the blogosphere, here we go...
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Being a mother of a teenager is finally understanding why some animals eat their young.
The fastest way to spread news isn’t on the internet. It’s by telling your mum.
Ever heard of a job that requires no experience, gives no training, pays nothing, and you can’t quit? That’s motherhood. Oh, and people’s lives are on the line too.
And her son replies... "My name is Paul!"
What do mother spiders complain about the most? ...How much time their kids spend on the web.
I asked a police recruit during an exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”
He said, “Call for backup.”
He said, “Call for backup.”
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As you can tell, I was struggling to find genuinely funny jokes about mums. Maybe you can help out with a funny mum joke of your own?
“Call for backup” hahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteIt's not a joke about moms, but it is a joke by women.
ReplyDeleteA woman is driving along the highway, in the middle of nowhere. She sees an older woman, standing by the road, waiting for a ride. She pulls over and invites the woman to join her, and the older woman does.
As they're driving along, the older woman keeps looking down at a bottle of wine, sitting in the seat beside the woman driving. The driver finally notices and says, "Oh, I got that for my husband."
The older woman says, "Good trade."
Don't worry. These are genuinely funny.
ReplyDeleteThe last two, "web" and "back up", were genuinely funny. I know this because I couldn't help grinning. Probably the best mum jokes you will find are about Jewish mothers. Particularly if they are your mother-in-law. Ask Maureen Lipman - she was married (till his death) to Jack Rosenthal.
ReplyDeleteU
Best I can come up with is Tom Lehrer's Oedipus Rex song. And it's still not really about Jocasta.
ReplyDeleteI found these funny and I'd need back up too if I had to arrest my mother. Thankfully she is living in a different realm these days, but not sure where since there haven't been any major changes in either heaven or hell.
ReplyDeleteNo I can't find any jokes, this, because I remember the bad MIL jokes made by feeble comedians;)
ReplyDeleteMothers, they provide their sons with both material for stand up comedy, and things to surprise their therapist with later in life.
ReplyDeleteThat last one was good.
ReplyDeletebites tongue and resists a plethora of ..... "yo' momma's so...." jokes
ReplyDeleteI recommend the Rap song "Ya Mama" by Wuf Ticket. (Don't worry, it is genuine Old School Rap, no vulgarities or obscenities in there - the f-word does not occur at all.)
ReplyDeleteI did like the arresting mother joke.
ReplyDelete