Sadly, Ian and his girlfriend Sarah broke up just before Christmas. She is the mother of our precious grandson - Zachary. They have sold the £1.2 million house they bought together and now Ian lives in a rental flat in the Fulham area with Sarah occupying a nearby house that belongs to one of her brothers. He has been posted abroad on military service.
I have not asked many questions about why the split occurred. Maybe they do not really know themselves. Sometimes these things are about feelings and instincts - things you cannot entirely pin down. Both of them want to do their best for Zach and it seems that the parting has been pretty amicable. I have my ideas about what gradually happened to bring about the separation but no other people were involved.
As Zach was staying with Ian for the weekend we booked a hotel room at The Premier Inn near Putney Bridge. It was just a twenty minute walk from Ian's new place.
"Premier Inns" are a well-known hotel chain in Great Britain. They all boast that they are non-smoking establishments. I don't know about you but I detest any odour of stale cigarette smoke in a hotel room. As soon as I walked in Room 405, I could smell the fug - not gross but enough for me to notice.
On the way out, I stopped at reception to let them know. I said we didn't want to swap rooms but I would appreciate a canister of air freshener I could spray to suppress the foul aroma. The woman on reception ignored my specific request and instead said she would send somebody up to the room.
When we returned to the room at 11pm on Friday night, the smoky smell was still there and the only difference was that a member of housekeeping had cracked open a window. This now ensures that The Great Yorkshire Pudding Hotel Inspector will be composing a scathing written review.
It was nice to see both Zach and Ian. When the little man was in bed on Friday night, we ordered in a scrumptious Vietnamese meal and this morning we met the two of them in Bishops Park where Zach fed the ducks and then we had a pleasant breakfast together in the park cafe.
Zach is really into his little toy cars and even takes them to bed with him. He loves to zoom them around Ian's wooden floors. In contrast, Margot likes to comfort her dollies, changing their nappies and patting their backs. None of the parents consciously encouraged this gender-typical behaviour. Somehow, it just grew.
⦿
Our hotel was near this amazing bookshop in Fulham. I have never been in a bookshop like it. If you love books, Hurlingham Books was a veritable Aladdin's cave. Inside, the secondhand books were stacked from floor to ceiling. I might be wrong but there seemed to be no method or reasoning to the disorganisation, no categories, no alphabetical order just thousands of books piled up on each other. Most of them had their prices written in pencil inside the front cover but many didn't. The little corridor that had formed between the stacks of books was so narrow that two people could not physically pass each other. For entirely successful book perusal I would have required stilts and a torch (American: flashlight).
I'm sorry to hear about the breakup, but I'm glad they both want the best for Zach and are keeping things amicable. Good for you for not asking too many questions.
ReplyDeleteI bet I could spend an entire day exploring that bookstore.
You might get buried beneath an avalanche of books.
DeleteThat's sad about Ian. I guess it wasn't meant to be.
ReplyDeleteYou would think the books could be arranged in some order, such as subject matter, rather like books retailers do.
The torch in your phone can be most useful in such situations, as is the camera to check prices on bottom shelves in the supermarket when it becomes too difficult to get up from being right down at floor level.
Oh Andrew, you are such a tease to YP about the phone!
DeleteAlso good for the fine print on labels, especially that white on a dark background stuff, if you've left your reading glasses at home.
Oh! Now I understand the true usefulness of a smartphone. Thank you Andrew! And how much does it cost to have one of those fancy torches in your pocket?
DeleteYP, not just a torch. You can take a picture and then enlarge it to read the fine print.
DeleteHowever, I do admire your capacity to hold out on this issue. There are definitely downsides to smartphonism.
I wonder though, does Shirley have a "smart" phone? I am assuming that you still have a "dumb" mobile phone with which you can contact her at the end of quizzes or when lost in the bookshop etc.
Shirley does have a smart phone.
DeleteYP, your don't have to buy a smart smart phone. I basic smart phone is quite cheap.
Great that they are committed to amicable co-parenting of Zach! When I lived in Winnipeg, my favourite second-hand bookstore was like the one you describe. Total chaos! But they always had the most fascinating and eclectic selection of books. The owner always looked half-stoned (I'm being charitable).
ReplyDeleteYou mean the owner was entirely stoned?
DeleteI would LOVE that bookshop! Breakups can be nasty, so I am glad this one was amicable. My great-grandson also loves his cars and any kind of construction machinery. The twins on the other hand, show very little interest in dolls, not their toy kitchen equipment either. They are into running and jumping and playing on the swing set.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting how small children pick up gender messages.
DeleteWhen our kids separate it's a loss for us. I was most upset when they parted. Then the said kid parted with two more partners. I got used to it.
ReplyDeleteI guess it is the way of the world these days.
DeleteSad news about the separation. I hope that it continues to be amicable. My 2 now teenage grands have coped well for years living in 2 homes.
ReplyDeleteAs a secondary school teacher I often found that the most troublesome behaviour came from children whose parents had split up.
DeleteThat is such a terrible shame for your Ian . I hope that things will work out well for him.
ReplyDeleteI would have loved to have visited that bookshop. It sounds wonderful.
I wish I could have had longer in there JayCee.
DeleteSplitting up never goes entirely pain-free, but it sounds like Ian and Sarah are sensibly managing things in their son‘s best interest.
ReplyDeleteThat bookshop is like something out of a book!
The hotel staff didn‘t handle your justified request very well. If I remember correctly, it was a Premier Inn in Sheffield where my sister and I found our room full of crumbs on the carpet. We informed reception, and the young woman apologised on behalf of housekeeping staff and then came up herself to hoover our room.
Usually Premier Inns maintain very high standards so we have both been unfortunate.
DeletePremier Inn in York was excellent, as was the quite busy Wetherspoons.
DeleteI'm sorry to hear about Ian and Sarah. Things like that are never easy for a family, especially with a child involved.
ReplyDeleteI ordered a book online from that bookstore many years ago through AbeBooks. So they must have some method for knowing what they have and where it is! I've never visited but I think I have walked past it before.
I suggest that you make a point of visiting Hurlingham Books Steve. They also have a small warehouse 15 minutes walk away.
DeleteI would have demanded a new room. As someone who has never smoked I loathe that smell.
ReplyDeleteIf you ever get to Portland, Oregon, there's a fabulous bookstore called Powell's which is epic is size and scope. And the staff there are miracles at helping you find what you need!
Good on Ian and his ex for putting their child first. It's sad when the parents dislike each other so much that they use the child as a kind of weapon.
Thing is Bob, we just wanted to deposit our bags and get straight out to pick up little Zach from his nursery school. We didn't want to hang about trying to get a new room in a fully booked hotel. I have been to Portland but wish I had visited the book shop you mentioned.
DeleteI would have left the unpacked bags in the room and asked the front desk to either fumigate the room or find me another room. No need to hang around at the front desk. When you got back to the hotel you could then ask reception for your new room key. Might not have worked but you never know.
DeleteThat book store sounds wonderful, though I tend to read e-books these days
Glad you survived the lawless of Khan’s London.
I love a packed bookstore.
ReplyDeleteI love chaos sometimes. Better than order.
DeleteLast week I had a good chance to really talk with my eldest child who was about four when his father and I divorced. He reassured me in very strong terms that we had done a good job of our separating and making sure he and his sister had not suffered from it. I hope that is the truth of the matter. I know my ex and I tried but no matter what, there are emotions involved that can be hard to navigate. Not to mention the physical realities of who lives where and when the child or children are with the other parent. It is never an ideal situation but sometimes it is the best situation.
ReplyDeleteSounds like Ian and Sarah feel okay with the situation and Zach is adapting well to the change. That's good.
ReplyDeleteI would have made the hotel change me to a room without the cigarette smell.
Willie Maugham said he missed London & London rain, Cockney humour,
ReplyDeletesecond-hand bookshops, Victorian pubs, churches & Petticoat Lane Market .
He had plenty of consolation in Saint Jean Cap-Ferrat, not least food & wine.
Graham Greene's spy novel The Human Factor has a pivotal character who
runs an old bookstore. Isn't there a b & w photo of Greene at a book barrow ?
Arnold Bennett's novel Riceyman Steps (1923) is about a second-hand book
book dealer. I have an old Penguin paperback copy with linen-stitched pages.
The real Riceyman Steps were known as the Plum Pudding Steps leading
from Gwynne Place (Clerkenwell) to Granville Square.
Explore the quiet little streets behind Westminster Abbey. There's a plaque
to TE Lawrence of Arabia who lived there for a time. A world of its own.
That bookshop looks like a fun place to visit if you're just browsing - but a nightmare if you had in mind to find a particular book...
ReplyDeleteSorry about the breakup, I hope it all somehow works out well anyway and that they can remain "friends".
I'm very sorry for Ian's troubles. Life certainly throws us curveballs from time to time.
ReplyDeleteI have far too many books. I have donated many but still have a lot. Some I will never get rid of. They shall have to be dealt with after I'm gone!
I suspected something was wrong with Ian and his girlfriend when you mentioned your Christmas gathering and I found no mention of his partner then. .I do hope Zachary will continue to be part of your life.
ReplyDeleteSmart pick up.
DeleteI am so sorry to hear about your son's broken relationship and hope that Zachary does not suffer because of it. Parents suffer, too, when their children have problems, so I hope you and Mrs YP are looking after yourselves.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about Ian and his girlfriend. I hope that they always put Zachary first.
ReplyDeleteThat bookstore looks amazing and I could stay there for hours.
I have stayed in that very same hotel a couple of times, in fact I was in a Premier Inn in York last week. Ive always been satisfied with the service but ive never had this particular issue - smoking in hotels has been banned in hotel rooms for almost 20 years now but I'm surprised housekeeping didn't pick it up in your case.
ReplyDelete