Having battled through unexpected traffic, I arrived at Halfords bang on time. The fellow on the front desk asked me to return within an hour and hopefully the problem would have been sorted out by then. So off I went for a mosey around the massive Tesco Extra store just down the road. I also had a cup of coffee in their cafe as I read the first few pages of the novel I bought from a charity shop to see me through the rest of February: "The Dirt Road" by James Kelman.
When I returned to the autocentre, the same young man on the reception desk told me that my appointment had been cancelled and I would be getting my pre-payment back. I was puzzled but then he explained that it had been a very short nail and it had not in fact entered the tyre's inflated cavity. Of course I could not have known that myself and he agreed.
In other Yorkshire Pudding news, today I finally got round to doing something I had been meaning to do for ages. I parcelled up a brass thermometer and posted it to a certain school in York.
In fact, I was returning it to its rightful owners having stolen it from that school one Saturday afternoon when I was thirteen years old - fifty nine years ago by my reckoning.
That morning I had arrived in York aboard a school coach ready to play a game of competitive rugby union. In those days, after games, it was the custom for home schools to provide refreshment for visiting teams.
Following lunch, with three or four teammates, we went on a bit of a rampage around the host school seeking stuff we could thieve. That is how I ended up with the brass thermometer. It was in a science lab drawer.
As I wrote in my explanatory letter to the present headteacher of the York school, seeing that brass thermometer through the decades had always been tinged with shame and regret. As an adult and as a father, a husband, a neighbour and a friend I have always sought to live a very honest life - adhering to the motto, "Honesty is the best policy". And yet there was the brass thermometer - reminding me that I was not as entirely honest as I claimed to be.
Well now the thermometer has gone back where it belongs with sincere apologies. It now feels as if the load I carry around with me is slightly lighter this evening. I should have sent the stolen booty back years ago.
Glad to hear you're putting your criminal past behind you.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have done the same Debra.
DeleteThe Winslow Boy all over again.
ReplyDeleteExcept the boy in Terence Rattigan's play was innocent of theft.
You not only STOLE the Brass Thermometer.
You had the pleasure of possession of said object for half a century, Sir !
Robert Donat (The Thirty-Nine Steps) played the barrister who acted on
behalf of young Winslow.
James Mason played the terrifying Edward Carson prosecutor in the film
The Trial of Oscar Wilde.
Who would you have as your barrister, Sir ?
Jenny Wiltshire ? Jim Meyer ? Howard Godfrey ?
Nick Freeman, known as Mr Loophole ?
Pam Bondi, Trump's attack dog and Attorney General may have to defend
herself if she is indicted of lying to Congress under oath.
Her favourite song is Nat King Cole's Stay As Sweet As You Are.
As my barrister, I would choose someone whose fees are low and who really knows his/her stuff about instant coffee.
DeleteIona Young - How I became one of Scotland's youngest
Deletefemale Advocates. OPTIMUM ADVOCATES.
A cup of Douwe Egberts awaits you on arrival.
Don't disgrace yourself by dipping your biscuit in the coffee.
Oh! that was very nice of the autocentre.
ReplyDeleteBy being fair with me, I am very likely to go back there.
DeleteSending the thermometer back is admirable but now someone will be wondering what to do with it!
ReplyDeleteErr...they could try reading the temperature with it!
DeleteI'm sure you feel much better after returning the thermometer. I wonder why people do such things in the first place. I think it happens more often than we think and it's not just kids.
ReplyDeleteAs teammates we egged each other on. It was mischief that went too far.
DeleteI'm impressed that you kept the thermometer all these years. I stole a small glass measuring cup from work many years ago. Nobody ever used it and I love measuring cups and glasses. I'm not returning it though.
ReplyDeleteHow do you sleep at night Pixie?
DeleteI hope I strike such honesty when my slow leaking tyre is investigated.
ReplyDeleteThe thermometer looks nice, and pleasingly shows Celsius too, so it is still slightly useful to those without smart phones.
What's smart about them? They seem dumb to me. Dumbphones.
DeleteAndrew, if your tyre has a slow leak then there really is a hole (however small) to be plugged.
DeleteI agree with Marcie Andrew. Why not contact "Marcellous Mobile Tyre Repairs". They will be round in a jiffy to take your money.
DeleteI think the older we get , we become more introspective and wish to put right the "wrongs" we have done. This is the case with me. Some things can never be put right and we have to live with that.
ReplyDeleteWe are lucky to have a very honest team at our local Garage. It's good to know honesty still survives!
Even in Lancashire - which is quite amazing!
DeleteI dare say that most kids nick something at some point during their childhood and youth; be it because they really covet the item but can't obtain it otherwise, or as a "game" such as what you and your mates were doing that day, or under force from a bully etc.
ReplyDeleteA girl in our neighbourhood was the only only child I knew. Her parents were well off, and rarely at home; she had a live-in nanny and her play room was full of toys my parents and grandparents would never have bought for us. Sometimes I was invited to play Barbie at her place, bringing one or two of my own dolls and some of the hand-made dresses my Oma had made. Her Barbie dresses were of course all store-bought, the "real deal" with all the accessories, and I envied her those dresses. She let my Barbies wear her dresses as much as I wanted while we played, she was generous like that. One day I took "accidentally" one of the best dresses home with me. I couldn't enjoy it, since a) I knew it was wrong of me to take it and b) had my Mum spotted it, she'd known instantly that it wasn't mine. So, next time I went to Michaela to play Barbie, I smuggled it back in with her own dresses. She never knew, and I never mentioned it.
What counts is that it does not become a habit, and the kid knows it's wrong. To return the thermometer to its rightful owners was the right thing to do. Just like not charging you was the right thing to do for the autocentre folks.
Guilt is a funny thing. For some it is their way of life but for others it is an unpleasant weight that detrimentally affects self-esteem. It is significant that you remember the Barbie doll incident very clearly.
DeleteDid you give your name when you returned the thermometer? Can you expect your front door to be burst open by police? I wonder what sentence you'd get for harbouring a stolen thermometer for sixty years?
ReplyDeleteI think the fact that I returned it should count in my favour but I will face any "come back" with stoicism.
DeleteIt will be interesting to know if the school responds, Maybe it will send a reporter from the local paper - or a policeman to book you for theft!
ReplyDeleteI will face whatever is coming like Philoctetes.
DeleteI managed to borrow "The Roaring Queen" by Wyndham Lewis from the Australian National University Library in Canberra in 1983 without actually checking it out. I don't think it was deliberate. Shortly after I moved back to Sydney. I eventually got round to reading it and returned it in 2020. (Yes I know that's far from a record for this sort of thing.) Maybe the ANU library's priorities have changed because after I returned the book it doesn't seem to have been reinstated into the catalogue.
ReplyDeleteWyndham Lewis was a bit of a shit anyway.
I just visited your impressive blog Marcellous. Until now, I never knew it was out there crackling in the ether, dating from as far back as May 2007. Your library book analogy does seem to echo my thermometer tale with the main difference being that I can remember my theft whereas you appeared to be in denial.
DeleteLOL. There was no need for me to steal it which is why I say the original taking was inadvertent. I agree that retaining it once I realised I had it and had not properly borrowed it.
DeletePS: it's obvious from this depiction that Philoctetes was suffering from a bad case of Athlete's Foot. Maybe you need to change into a dry set of socks after your lengthy walks?
Correction (incomplete sentence):
DeleteI agree that retaining it once I realised I had it and had not properly borrowed it took things to a different level.
Goodness exists; doing the right thing happens.
ReplyDeleteThat was nice of the tire people!
They should change their name to "The Jesus of Nazareth Autocentre".
DeleteAn old Swedish proverb comes to mind for me: "(för) sent skall syndarn vakna" = "(too) late shall the sinner awaken)” (from an early 19th century psalm). Hopefully it can be combined with the more forgiving saying "better late than never"... I'd like to see a cctv camera video of the person opening the parcel, though!
ReplyDeleteI can see why that old proverb came to mind. Sometimes it really is much too late.
DeleteYoung people these days may not know how "what is this?" works. Thermometers are digital now, no more mercury.
ReplyDeleteYoung people these days may not know what a blog is.
DeleteI do hope that the school, uses this as a teachable moment, on long term goodness of people, of the value of doing the right thing, of the honesty of all persons.
ReplyDeleteDo you know - I said that same thing in my accompanying letter David. Told them I would not mind.
DeleteTwo things I stole from a roommate: a book of Richard Brautigan poetry and a roach clip. Could any theft be more indicative of its time? The roach clip disappeared many years ago. I think I still have the book of poetry. I have no idea where the roommate is to be found now or if she is even still alive.
ReplyDeleteBut i still feel guilty.
At the time of the the thefts neither of us would have imagined that we would carry those guilt-stained moments with us for life.
DeleteI have to say that I think some of us have overdeveloped senses of guilt.
DeleteHow nice for the auto center to not charge you at all for their time. Of course you will want to go back there now. Good business practice.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what the school will think when they receive that thermometer. I wonder if they still use those in their science class?
I had the same thought about the stolen thermometer and how it would be received.
DeleteI wonder how the headteacher will react to your letter? It will be interesting to see if you get a response! Halford's is bargaining that their honesty will bring you back as a customer, and it sounds like it probably will!
ReplyDeleteIt's a beautiful thermometer and I am wondering now if any are still available in that style. I'd buy one. I stole a cheap and tacky bracelet when I was about 10, (from a Woolworths store long before they became supermarkets) all the girls in my class had similar ones and I loved them, but felt guilty wearing it and was relieved when it slipped off my wrist that same day in the local swiming pool and sank to the bottom where I couldn't reach it.
ReplyDeleteBut pillaging is a York tradition. Seriously I'm glad you feel absolved.
ReplyDelete