In The Queen's Bedroom
Charles Oh good heavens that man is insufferable!
Camilla You can say that again my beloved. Did you notice the odour?
Charles Oh yes my sweet dumpling. It has most certainly got worse.
Camilla They say he is incontinent.
Charles I read that on "The Meidas Touch". I believe he wears incontinence pants. But nobody knows as he never "comes clean" about his medical records!
Camilla (tittering at the joke) And as for his trophy wife. Oh my God!
Charles You mean Big Barbie? I simply cannot understand a word that woman says. And that suits me fine. Can she speak English? I just nod and smile as Dear Mama taught me.
Camilla Remember when he had that royal visit back in 2019? He tried to upstage your mother.
Charles So ignorant. Pushing past to inspect the troops. Walking in front of her. Unheard of. Even Froggie Macron knows better.
Camilla One's tolerance is sorely tested.
Charles Did you hear our incorrigible host spouting that nonsense about what he calls "windmills"? He doesn't even realise how vital wind turbines have become in helping the world to move away from fossil fuels.
Camilla Yes I heard him... Anyway, it's time for bed Charlie Boy.
Charles Will Bunny be going down the burrow tonight my beloved?
Camilla Oh Chaz - does he have to?
Charles Yes my dear. It's one's royal prerogative!
(They giggle)
⦿
In the Presidential Master Bedroom
Presidential Master Bedroom in The White House
#47 I think he really likes me. I consider him to be a close friend. Maybe we are the best friends the world has ever seen. Many people are talking about it.
First Lady You mean lick Jeffrey woz? ...I diz not lick Camelhair. She sez she hez refusing any beauty surgery plastic. Vot is wrong wizz hare?
#47 I don't understand what you are saying Ivana. Don't the people speak English in Slovakia?
First Lady Eets Slovenia! Ow many times muzz I see eets Slovenia! Anna my name eez not Ivana. Shee eez dead!
#47 Dead? When? She was the greatest wife any president had in the last 450 years. (He burps) Anyway Marla what's on the agenda for tomorrow? I've err forgotten.
First Lady The King ee will be a speaking to The Zenate and The Horse of Repre-something.
#47 I guess he'll be praising me and how I ended thirty seven wars and how my golden ballroom will be bigger and better than the one they have at Buck and Ham Palace. in London And how our economy is so great... Anyway, how come he got to be a king? I wanna be a king too. Do you think he'll give me his kingship like the nice Venezuelan lady gave me her Nobel Peace Prize?
First Lady No way The Donald. He can't do zat. An' vot about ze "No Kings" protests?
#47 That's just fake news. Didn't happen. Didn't happen.
First Lady Anyway. Time for bed. Will ve do rumpy pumpy? It hez bin a long, long time.
#47 Not tonight Ivanka, I got some truths and memes to put out on Truth Social. I'll be quite a while. America first! America first! (He emits a resounding fart)
First Lady (sighs) Oh not again. Eets every flockin' night! I am gonna my own suite. Again! Who readz your flockin' truths anyway?
(She storms out , slamming the door behind her, as #47 starts up his presidential laptop. He has another long night ahead of him)
No comments:
Post a Comment
Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.