All of the books had been published under the "My Weekly" banner with "My Weekly" being a long-running British general interest magazine that is aimed at women. It contains short stories, lifestyle advice, puzzles, recipes, interviews. Currently it has a weekly circulation of around 45,000 copies, down significantly on past years. I guess that decline is to do with smartphones and internet access.
Anyway, I suddenly thought to myself - I am going to read one of these books - see if it has any merit. I dropped some coins in the collecting tub and at random chose "Island Dreams" by Evelyn Orange.
This is how "Amazon" summarise the book:-
Cassie Melrose inherits her grandmother’s house and Craft Centre on the remote Scottish island of Arasay. Initially planning a brief visit, she becomes entangled in the island’s charm, its close-knit community, and lingering emotions from her past – including a renewed connection with Zander, her teenage love…
Getting anything published is not easy and out there in the big wide world there are many thousands of would-be writers who never see any of their work accepted or published so you have to give it to Evelyn Orange, pictured below. She made it. And this isn't the only book she has had printed by "My Weekly".
Anyway, I finished "Island Dreams" yesterday, sitting in the sunshine at our garden table. I found it very easy to read and looked forward to reading the next chapter and the next.
I discovered a dozen blatant errors in expression that should have been spotted by any proofreader worth his or her salt but more important than that I became fond of the main character - Cassie Melrose. I wanted things to work out for her.
There was a lightness, a kind of innocence about the delivery. You guessed from the outset that Cassie and Zander would rekindle their love after a few hiccups along the way. But there was not even the slightest hint of sex happening. There was a measure of passionate kissing in which Cassie's heart melted but Gentleman Zander never tried to coax her to bed.
As I have done with past book reviews, here's just a taste of "Island Dreams" from the very middle of the book:-
Cassie sighed into his long, muscular body, enjoying the physical warmth and feeling of protection it gave her. How quickly they had slotted into each other's lives! She looked up into his face, "It's OK, I know you've had to put some stuff on hold with the worry of Connor's disappearance. Thankfully he's safe now."
"Yes, I'd better get him and his mum back home."
"What about the dog?" she asked as they walked to the door.
He gave a rueful grin. "That's something else to sort out. I need to try and persuade Maeve to give Pip a home as well."
"I hope she does."
At least six cliches in 100 words.
ReplyDeleteMuscular body. Feeling of protection. How quickly they slotted into each other's ...
Praising a writer for writing badly is like rewarding dishonesty.
Or like complementing a man with alopecia areata because moonlight has
chosen to bestow its light on his pink wrinkled calvaria.
The War Against Cliche : Essays and Reviews 1971-2000 by Martin Amis.
Up until the age of 97 my frail mother quivered when television news
Deletereported another fatal stabbing.
* I wouldn't mind getting shot by a gun, anything but a stabbing ! *
she'd say in agony for the young male victim.
After 100 dapper and dull pages of A.S. Byatt's The Children's Tale,
I can face the firing squad with the calm of Mother or Mahatma Gandhi.
I'm dumping Byatt for the Shorter Finnegan's Wake edited by that wily
Joycean advocate Anthony Burgess.
"Praising a writer for writing badly is like rewarding dishonesty..." Okay Mr Bigshot Intellectual Giant, I challenge you to write your own romantic novel called "The Cleaning Lady" in which the hero - Roland Fogarty, a Glasgow-based journalist falls head over heels in love with a humble office cleaner called Myrtle McDougall. But there is just one snag - Myrtle is happily married to a gangster from The Gorbals called Dougal McDougall - known locally as The Undertaker.
DeleteYour first attempt at Flash Fiction wins Five Haggerty Stars.
DeleteYou touched a nerve. I never fancied careers women. I only dated
cleaners, waitresses, shopgirls. They were a good laugh, and real.
China Mieville - This Census Taker. 140 pages.
Iain Reid - Foe. 270 pages. Eerie SF thriller.
Zhou Haohui. Death Notice. 318 pages. Exotic.
The Message. Mai Jia. 420 pages. Baffling.
Byatt's 600 pages are textured, sensual. Her story's not going anywhere.
I cared little for the characters except the homeless boy who can draw.
The evil character in a story must have the potential to enter our dreams.
He has a deep back story. Born bad, corrupted ? Mystery of iniquity.
Rogue Riderhood. Our Mutual Friend. Why didn't Byatt look to Dickens ?
Your Undertaker is a handsome man. He ages well like Chuck Heston.
Fogarty falls for his daughter not his wife. Myrtle's an industrial cleaner.
She lives away from Da in the Darnley. I miss her already.
I was rather thinking that The Undertaker would be a Quasimodo-type figure with bad breath and athlete's foot.
DeleteDavid Bradley, great English actor, played Roger Rogue Riderhood
Deletein the 1998 BBC drama of Our Mutual Friend.
Who could play Riderhood today ?
Jim Caviezel. From Christ to Antichrist.
I always like your book reviews. You have read the book and made your judgement along the way . I wouldn't read this book
ReplyDeleteWould you read it if we changed some names? Cassie could be Jean and Zander could be Keith!
DeleteIs there a less romantic passage you could post so we learn more about the actual island and house perhaps?
ReplyDeleteSorry. I randomly picked a passage from page 90 - the very middle of the little book.
DeleteIf it is written that it was a sigh, it must be so and not a delayed reaction to something else.
ReplyDeleteEh? I don't understand what you wrote here Andrew! Had you been drinking?
DeleteJust looked up 'Woman's Own' which is still going strong as. Though it looks full of nonsense as well. What you read was a particular type of female reading. Simple story with love and happiness at the end. I am sure there was a big enough audience to read it, and a publisher to publish it but the books quality could not be measured against a classic;) That is rather snobby isn't it?
ReplyDeleteYes it is Thelma. I challenge you to write a romantic novel yourself - "The Archaeological Dig". The heroine will be a young widow called Velma who loves history and spinning and weaving. She travels up to Yorkshire to take part in a dig a few miles outside Malton where she meets Humphrey Ramsbottom - the man of her dreams.
DeleteWell if you want the sequel. She married the handsome archaeologist, who other women swooned over but sadly ..............;)
DeleteNow I want to read on!
DeleteIt sounds a little romance novel-y to me.
ReplyDeleteYou could write your own romance novel. "Tales of Carlos" would be a great title.
DeleteAccording to Publishers Weekly, about 64% of US books are print, since I retired I have gone back to reading mostly print. It is hard to get professionally published, but easier than ever to self publish. You could start a proofreading/editing service.
ReplyDelete"You could start a proofreading/editing service". I have an eye for errors in spelling, punctuation and expression but I am drawn much more to creativity David.
DeleteOh dear. This sounds dreadful. The entire description is one cliche after another. Remote island which has a craft center? What? Oh sure. At least the description doesn't include the ever-popular "where she uncovered secrets from the past..." theme.
ReplyDeleteOkay Mer, let's have a romantic tale from you - "Dog Island Love" could be the title in which a 72 year old Florida couple find themselves stranded in the eye of a hurricane when their boat suffers a catastrophic engine failure. Can you do better than Evelyn Orange?
DeleteI am not a book snob any more than I'm a music snob or food snob. One of the best things I did was to join a book club, which broadened my taste in genres. Another was to join a Classics Club group in the blogosphere. Romances (like this) are not something I read very often, but sometimes all a person wants is "fluff" and I have no problem with that. At this point in time I mostly read for enjoyment and escapism. If I learn something in the process, all the better.
ReplyDeleteYeah - "fluff" is a good word for it Kelly!
DeleteChaste kissing only? Get away from me with that old timey fiction!
ReplyDeleteChaste kissing is underrated.
Delete2017
DeleteYouTube. 2017 A KISS TO BUILD A DREAM ON. JOAN CHAMORRO.
DeleteAlba Armengou, Elia Bastida, Carla Motis, Scott Hamilton.
Joan Chamorro is the man on double base.
He runs a free music school in Barcelona for young people.
They raise money from concerts.
Joan's little son died of cancer in 1999. He worked through his grief.
Scott Hamilton is on tenor sax. Alba sings, plays trumpet & saxophone.
The song was first recorded by Louis Armstrong recording (YouTube).
It was written in 1935 by Bert Kalmar & Harry Ruby.
Lyrics Oscar Hammerstein.