And now for something very Beckettian.
It concerns a visit I made today to the residence of an old friend. He lives there with the wife he left forty years ago and one of his grown up sons who has become a full time carer for his parents. Let's call the old man Frank, his 86 year old wife Betty and their fifty one year old son Peter. Frank is in his ninetieth year.
They live in a small two-bedroomed terraced house three miles from here. I realised I had not seem them in person since February so it was nigh time that I called in again.
I took them gifts. A large Melton Mowbray pork pie for Frank, a bunch of flowers for Betty and four cans of lager for Peter.
They were very grateful but from the moment I walked in, the absurdity began. It's quite hard to explain but I will try.
Frank was sitting in the front room watching the BBC 24-hour news service with the volume turned up. Peter was still up in bed even though it was gone midday. Betty was anxiously fussing about because she had a dental appointment at 2pm and Peter would be driving her there.
When all three were in the front room - all talking to me - it was as if I was a tennis player with not one but three competitors on the other side of the net. It's hard enough to return one ball but three balls at once? Not easy I can tell you.
Frank - Losing his memory and in his slightly demented state, believing that Betty and Peter are just after his money. He can't much remember the pub we both sat in as regulars, nor any of the other customers or the landlady. The names have evaporated. And he's obsessed with his hands and feeling occasional pains in his arms. And he realises he's lost weight. And he wonders why Betty just turned the TV volume down. And he hates Donald Trump and besides why does Peter drink cans of beer most nights?
Betty - She once lived in the house on her own but Frank and Peter came to live with her. And she has a cat called Simba that all three of them love. They are at least agreed on that. And she has been constipated with occasional bleeding from her back passage and do I like the blue jumper she is wearing? Peter found it in a skip (American: dumpster). And she has got to go to the medical centre next week and Peter is "a good lad" really. He has a "heart of gold" and she still worries about when he was sexually abused by her step father. He was only nine or ten at the time. And do I like liver?
Peter - Now downstairs and looking bleary-eyed. The appointment isn't until two Mum! We don't have to go yet. And he says, "Do you want this flask?" He is holding up a stainless steel flask he found on a wall. And his laptop has malfunctioned and he has lost lots of photos. Mum and Dad do not drink enough. "I'm always telling them". And how did you feel when McBurnie scored down at Wembley? And do you want this dashcam? I found it in the middle of the road. And yes Mum! I know we're going to the dentist! It takes five minutes to drive there!
⦿
The home environment is tatty, chaotic, in need of a deep clean. There are photos without frames on the mantelpiece and slid into the side of the wall mirror above is a birthday card I sent to Frank last November. In the other downstairs room - the kitchen diner - there are two bulky old easy chairs in the middle of the floor and another television on the dresser.
It is all a mess. Just like the conversational tennis match.
But they are good people. I have known Frank for thirty six years and remember him when he was in robust health and fully compus mentis. If it wasn't for Betty and Peter, he would definitely be in a residential home for the elderly, gradually slipping into the nether world that The President of the USA is currently heading to as he spouts about the awful UFC event and the crashing Freedom 250 concert. Nobody of note wants to appear. Just like "Waiting for Godot".
Samuel Beckett would have had a field day with all of this. He really would.
Let us say before I go any further, that I forgive nobody. I wish them all
ReplyDeletean atrocious life in the fires of icy hell and in the execrable generations to come.
Malone Dies.
Good heavens! At first I thought this was J.Haggerty Esquire passing cruel judgement upon Frank, Betty and Peter!
Delete... and in the execrable generations to come an honoured name.
ReplyDeleteWhat? Malone or Haggerty?
DeleteMalone.
DeleteMost of us will remember who you are talking about. Sadly the decline continues.
ReplyDeleteThey are surviving, getting by in the existential charade that is their shared life together.
DeleteWell, the last time I looked, it was not illegal to be a disfunctional family. However, it is pathetic and sad to see.
ReplyDeleteIt's crazy but they are getting by. There's food on the table and a roof over their heads.
DeleteI have never heard of Samuel Beckett. I have heard of Waiting for Godot, though I have never seen it.
ReplyDeleteA house in disarray, but at least they are all getting along, in their own fashion. For now. Betty needs a colonoscopy.
"Getting along" - that's right. Betty is properly served by the NHS.
DeleteMichael, an old pal of mine, is the very image of Sam Beckett.
DeleteHawk-like profile. Piercing blue eyes. Yard-brush haircut. Whippet thin.
Michael has never heard of Beckett. His only family is a cousin in Donegal.
Michael lives alone, has an E-Type Jaguar, reads only The Radio Times.
David Marr, biographer of Patrick White, said the two writers met.
Neither spoke. Just the piercing glance, the ice-blue gaze ...
YouTube had a short film of Beckett walking in Paris ; now it's gone.
He had an easy swinging walk, a young man's limber gait. Happy.
INTERVIEW OF 1973 NOBEL LAUREATE PATRICK WHITE (1912-1990).
YouTube.
White wrote The Vivisector, one of the best novels about a painter.
The other is The Horse's Mouth by Joyce Cary. Filmed w/ Alec Guinness.
Yes, Beckettian, and sad to see, but good of you to visit.
ReplyDeleteFrank's other friends have all disappeared.
DeleteYet they survive. True it is a weird world, but it is someone's else world not yours and Beckett would indeed write a wonderful play but is it ours to watch?
ReplyDelete"Survive" is the key word. But don't worry. I will not write that play. Underneath it all, they are decent people and I know they value my friendship. Betty often phones me in the early evening to relieve some pressure.
DeleteI should know more about Mr Beckett since we share a surname, he might even be a relative.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how common the surname "Beckett" is in Ireland.
DeleteDeterioration of "Frank" hard to witness, but in a way, for the time being, they seem to be managing. Call me Pollyanna, but I find that heartening. It will all fall apart, though, if "Betty" cannot manage.
ReplyDeleteDo you think "Betty" would accept assistance for a bit of a "deep clean"? And would you be up to offering it? Difficult to do so without appearing judgemental. I suppose you may feel the mess is a superficial manifestation of the difficulties they are under, that any one-off intervention will be futile and it's not up to you to assume a more ongoing role.
Definitely Beckettian.
Last face-to-face words from my stepmother were "don't get old." I reassured her that I didn't expect I would be able to afford to do so. She died about a week later.
You seem to understand the situation clearly from your long distance. Though messy, the house is not a health hazard. I am a little involved with them but I don't wish to get too involved. It is indeed "heartening" that they continue to get by. I said to Frank, "Make sure you keep going to your 90th birthday as I have already bought your card!" His birthday is on November 24th!
DeleteWell, I'm glad for Frank that he has Betty and Peter to look after him, despite the chaos.
ReplyDeleteI am wondering if Betty, too, was sexually abused by the stepfather. Probably.
I do not believe that Betty was abused by that horrible man for she was already married to Frank when her mother remarried. Clearly, Peter's life has been badly affected by what happened. He has never had a close, loving relationship with someone from outside his family.
DeleteThank goodness they have each other to depend on. Peter is a good son for stepping up to help them. It is not an easy job and patience is definitely needed. Sometimes I think living too long is not always a good thing.
ReplyDeleteI have praised Peter many times. Though his mother is always very grateful for his help, his father - my old friend - can be very nasty to him. It's the increasing dementia talking.
DeleteYou sure did capture the chaos of their lives with this post. I sometimes worry that as I get older, I will experience the dementia like things that I read about now. I sure hope not.
ReplyDelete