8 February 2016

Hunt

The Kardashians - well, four of them...
I don't know about you but I refuse to subscribe to The Cult of Celebrity. It's everywhere. The seven billion non-famous human beings on this planet are constantly bombarded with news about one thousand so-called celebrities and their very boring activities. Television is awash with celebrities. Shows that were never intended to feature celebrities get taken over by them. "Celebrity Masterchef", "Celebrity Mastermind", "Celebrity Bake Off", "Celebrity Pointless", "Celebrity Ice Dancing", "Celebrity Big Brother". Celebrity This and Celebrity That. They are laughing all the way to the bank while we non-celebrities squirm in the shadows of our obscurity.

Anyway, I have come up with a brilliant idea for a new TV programme featuring both celebrities and non-celebrities. The working title is "Celebrity Hunt" and basically it involves non-celebrities tracking down celebrities in Sherwood Forest.
The first programme will involve The Kardashians - a self-publicising family who have magically achieved fame without effort or talent of any description. Previously knowing absolutely nothing about them, I have discovered that there are lots of them but for the first show only these Kardashians will feature - Kimberly, Khloe, Kourtney and Rob.

From The Centre Tree they will  be given a five minute start to save their hides. Then the non-celebrities will pursue them through the forest. The non-celebrities will be supplied with sniffer dogs and M16A4 automatic rifles as used widely by the American military. The aim of this exciting new gameshow is to track down the celebrities and eliminate them. Should any Kardashians manage to escape from the forest they will be allowed to go forward into next week's show when it is hoped that the celebrities will include Donald Trump, BBC Radio 2 DJ Chris Evans, Miley Cyrus and Russell Brand. They will also be tracked down and, with any luck, eradicated.

Several ideas are still in the melting pot - such as the theme music and who will be the programme's narrator. "The Hunter" by Free is an early contender for the theme music honour. I have every belief that "Celebrity Hunt" will quickly become very popular with non-celebrity TV viewers and thousands are expected to apply to become hunters on the show.

43 comments:

  1. Those people are grotesque, maybe your show will catch on though it would be better as a paint ball game with no real casualties. Ha ha.

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    1. Red blood will be more popular with the public than red paint Terra!

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  2. They really do no harm, do they, other than make a lot of money out of those who choose to follow their careers whether it be movies, TV, music, books etc. They cater to the desires of the masses...and the masses are willing to pay for what they offer.

    As for the Kardashian Klan. Vacuous as they appear to be to we mere mortals, they have made a lot of money out of being vacuous. They're obviously a lot smarter than I am; they certainly have a lot more money than I have. I don't follow their life in detail...they are way out on the distant periphery of my own extremely humble existence. They cause and mean me no harm; and I mean them no harm. I don't have to read about them or listen to reports about them...my choice. Good luck to them. They've managed to create a very successful business out for their family life. Good on them! They're not killing anyone.

    No one would be interested enough in me and my family (of which I am just about the sole survivor) for me to make millions out it! Dammit! lol

    I'd rather the news be filled with their deeds and those playing around in similar circles, or fields of entertainment for our enjoyment, pleasure and leisure, than it be filled with those in this world who choose and want to do - and do do harm to others; to the innocent; to those who do not share their beliefs; those whose sole intent is to eradicate democracy; the right to be free by violent methods. Or hearing ongoing actions by too many like those spotlighted in the movie "Spotlight".

    I'd rather the news be always filled with good news; filled about good deeds done by good people, rather than day after day being surrounded by violence in one form or the other; whether it be human against human or human against animals.

    Those you write about, Yorkie...don't bother me at all. If they were the only people/things in this world to worry about, what a wonderful world it would be.

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    1. Be very careful what you say Lee! As Laughing Horse Blogger of the Year, you yourself are now something of a celebrity! Maybe it is almost time to buy some running shoes!

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    2. Running shoes? I've never seen shoes running. I'd probably start running in the opposite direction if I did! ;)

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  3. Hm! I really wonder if all the idiots could pull themselves away from TV. On the other hand, I like your wishful thinking!

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    1. I must be an idiot then, Red...I'm watching the TV at present...I'm watching the Super Bowl.

      This old idiot enjoys watching TV...watching the shows I CHOOSE to watch when I choose to watch them. No one forces me to watch...no one tells me what to watch. I'm an idiot who makes up my own idiotic mind.

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    2. Super Bowl? Is that a programme about tossed salads or fruit?

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    3. Yes, that's the one, Yorkie. It's hosted by Caesar and his Croutons.

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    4. Sounds a bit like The Hunger Games !
      I'm with Lee. I've been hiding inside out of the stifling heat watching TV In the air conditioning quite a bit though I must admit it is not easy to find something worth watching at this time of year. I'd rather watch the test pattern ( don't think they even have them any more !) than watch the Kardashilns

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    5. PS. It's nearly as bad as watching cricket or tennis in my opinion !

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    6. What? The Kardashians or Super Bowl?

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    7. I love watching the tennis...and I watched it all through the month of January; I always do - from the Hopman Cup, Brisbane International through to the Aus Open...now I'm suffering withdrawals...bring on Wimbledon!

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  4. Save me from the Kardashians.

    Your idea might make a really good video game - but then I think the K's would want a cut of the millions you might make.

    Ms Soup

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    1. Errr... The Kardashians would not be available to pick up their cheques. They'd be in shallow graves deep in the heart of Sherwood Forest.

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  5. I'm glad I don't have television.

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    1. Oh good, that means you missed the fly on the wall documentary about a new age traveller with a couple of westies and a bunch of cameras. What was it called now? Oh yes, "On The Road Again" - narrated by Michaela Strachan. It was ever so funny.

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    2. I couldn't be that lucky. Uma Thurman and Adrian, Moll and Alf on their travels with Michaela along for the chat.

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  6. As they say YP - that sounds like a plan !
    Kimberley, Khloe, Kourtney...and Rob? Shouldn't it be Kevin?
    Couldn't agree more with your thinking. I'm not much of a TV viewer at all - probably two hours a week maximum, so I'm often totally bewildered these days when I hear people talking about these so-called celebrities, or read about them in the papers. If I ask who they're talking about I'm told - "you know they are in so and so" - naming TV programmes I've never even heard of. I don't read "Hello" magazine either, where I'm told most of these "celebrities" welcome us into their elegant billion pound homes for a tasteful photo shoot.
    Just going out to do a little target practise...

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    1. You will make an excellent contestant CG! You have the right kind of attitude to celebrities - bewilderment!

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  7. Like Lee says, I don't have to watch them, or read about them. Like Coppa's girl says, most of the time I have no idea who people are talking about when some celebrity's name is mentioned in conversation.
    This was different when my grandma was still alive. For the last 11 years of her life, she was blind. Before that, she very much enjoyed reading the typical women's magazines filled with stories about Royals, actors, and other famous people. She wasn't interested in the fashion and diet pages, just the stories. And I know why she enjoyed them - she loved to tut-tut at the stories and invariably said how glad she was for being merely Else Engel, totally unknown, not rich, but all the happier for it, because obviously fame and fortune didn't make those people happy.
    When she was blind and couldn't read the magazines any longer, I read a pile of them to her every Saturday morning. I was the only one in my family willing to do it; my Mum and my sister blankly refused to have anything to do with those magazines.
    During those years, I would have easily won any quiz about the Royal family, or the league of celebrities that kept featuring on those pages.
    For my grandma, it was a mixture of escapism and confirmation of how good her own life actually was.

    Nowadays, I don't follow celebrities on TV, and when I am at the hairdresser's, I always bring my own reading.

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    1. The dynamics of The Celebrity Cult are certainly interesting Miss Arian. Is it about the manipulation of the people or serving some deep-seated need in people? How lovely that you were prepared to sideline your own thoughts about celebrities to entertain your grandmother's desire for that kind of information. A nice memory to hold.

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  8. The Kardasian Klan , can i apply for a place on the first hunt ? The one problem you may have is the council shutting it down on enviromental grounds , all that silicon and filler leaking into the water supply . Ive been a fan of them for such a long time , will this earn me a shot? http://kayerunrig.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/kims-wedding-planner.html

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    1. I am happy to inform you that you have won a place on the first show, captaining The A Team. I understand that one of The Kardashians has an abnormally large bottom. A paper target will be affixed to this with a safety pin. It shouldn't be too easy to miss.

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    2. Apart from a few selected programmes - Antiques Road Trip, Pointless, Real Marigold Hotel, Countryfile, News at the moment, we don't watch TV. We prefer to read, chat or play various board games. So I don't even know who these folk are. But when I read how much many of these so called 'celebrities' get for appearing then I am inclined to agree with you.

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    3. Last night I watched the last episode of "War and Peace" on the BBC. What a wonderful production! But it wasn't about celebrity - it was about a team of talented people striving to bring a complex work of Literature alive and they did it so brilliantly. Sometimes TV can be a great adjunct to our lives.

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    4. Sadly I've missed this production of "War and Peace", but I remember the other one, also made by the BBC, many years ago. That was equally stunning too.

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  9. Amen to that! I just ignore all this stuff about the Kardashians and Cara Delevigne (whoever she is) and the Hiltons. (Are they still around?)

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    1. Don't ask me if The Hiltons are still around Steve! I have no bloody idea. Is it a cartoon family like The Simpsons or something?

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  10. If you kill them all, who will be left for Dancing With the Stars?

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    1. I must admit, I hadn't thought about that problem Jan. I guess that "Dancing With the Stars" will be no more. Boo hoo!

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  11. I thought the Kardashians were a planetary race from Star Trek!

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    1. The Planet Kardashia's atmosphere is pungent with noxious gases. Dig below the planet's surface and there is a huge, empty void.

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    2. I really don't know who they are, and from what you say, I don't want to. I am soap free in my house :-)

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    3. Soap free? Ugh! I hope you all use deodorants Beverley!

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  12. I wish the Kardashian's were living in another planet. I wish that our young adults would know who the Vice President of the United States was instead of what Kimmie wore yesterday. I wish football players were not hero's to our children and young adults. I wish the same young adults would get off the Instagram posts of whoever has the spotlight for today and pay attention to their parents. If there are two of them in the home, then those people should be the hero's of the family and of the world! God, how I hate television and what it does to our children.

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    1. Do you wish The Denver Broncos hadn't won The Super Bowl?

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  13. It's terrible weather here on the south coast today, but, so determined am I to be part of this Celeb Cleansing Scheme that I'm about to start my training, running through dripping woods, carrying a pretend rifle, to be ready for the call...

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    1. I hope you are wearing a pink bikini Anna as this will be required dress for non-celebrity female contestants.

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    2. Yes - the woods were full of pink-bikinied women with blue skins...I recruited a few..

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  14. All that need be done is get them on The Jump and they would go down like nine pins.

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    1. Oh that poor Beth Tweddle! It is a wonder that she hasn't ended up in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. "The Jump" - what a dumb idea for a show.

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