31 January 2022

Report

Britain has been waiting for ages for a report on goings-on at Number 10 Downing Street during the COVID pandemic, involving our beloved prime minister, his wife and staff. It is sometimes referred to as Partygate. The person tasked with this enquiry is a senior civil servant called Susan Gray that nobody had ever heard about before. She is not related to the world famous blogger - John Gray. It will be interesting to witness how Johnson wriggles out of this one for here, hot off the press,  is Ms Gray's frank and thorough report:-

23 comments:

  1. Just read the real report ;) She is not saying much only that several parties were definitely up for inspection. A very neutral report I would say, is it being passed to the police to delay a truth I wonder. No mention of suitcases of alcohol and no specific mention of Johnson.

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    1. We have waited so long for a bowl of tripe. Johnson is using the delays to put distance between himself and the truth of what happened and what he said. He is as slippery as an eel.

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  2. This isn't really for publication: Post: Line 4 word 7. Could I suggest "whom"? This isn't a correction it's actually a genuine 'querie.

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    1. The grammar point you make is an interesting one. This is an issue around which there are various opinions in a territory of ever evolving "rules". My choice of "that" was quite deliberate for it subtly implies that Sue Gray is more of an institutional figure than a human being we might bump into in the street.

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    2. I can see that and I did wonder. Then I suddenly wondered, given the sentence construction, whether 'whom' was correct anyway.

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  3. The corpse of England's last grammarian shall be laid to rest, not in Westminster Abbey, but underneath a concrete bollocks outside the Pound Shop, Hackney.
    The concrete bollocks will have a quotation from Robert Browning's forgotten poem,
    The Grammarian's Funeral.

    As for Miss Gray, she is no Grey Eminence; she is Susie of the un-lovely, un-cursive hand; many an indigent bloke must have a crush on Susie; think of the sunset pension she will retire on at 55 (or sooner if Boris Jaunty has his punitive way).

    Susie would make an ideal girlfriend for our Resident Bore, Hamel(d).
    He can teach her the King's English for one thing; then there's that stonking pension of hers, paid for by all you suckers who love Queen + Country.
    JH

    P.S. It is estimated that 2.5 million people in London alone are living in poverty.
    The wealth didn't trickle down after all, as Baroness Thatcher assured us it would.

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    1. I think that you and Ms Gray would make a lovely couple. Sitting all night long in The Dalmarnock Inn supping pints o' heavy afore staggering home at midnight, ken?

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  4. I refer to my previous comment on your last post but one.

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    1. Prats, pillocks and bastards? I think that The New Mr Blobby passes the tests for all three of these.

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  5. I find it incredible that this is dragging on. Is there nobody who can oust the man?

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    1. Guy Fawkes was executed long ago I'm afraid.

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  6. Didn't this guy have a long history of being an idiot long before he became prime minister?

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  7. That's an official report on enquiries into political goings on? no wonder Boris gets away with it. It reads more like a letter she wrote to her mum.

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  8. Anonymous6:47 am

    Not guilt then. What does it take?

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    1. He would have to assassinate The Queen with a blunt instrument and even then the clown would probably wriggle out of it claiming it was the butler wot dun it.

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  9. Chardonnay? Vol-au-vents? What happened to good old sausage rolls, beer (for the blokes) and Buck's Fizz (for the birds)? Also, what's missing from the report is the playlist. What music people play at their parties can be very telling.

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    1. You are thinking about a possible Labour Party Party! Conservatives are more sophisticated when it comes to parties and they play ABBA all night long.

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  10. I'm barely paying attention to Sue Gray and her report, but I suspect the end product may look a lot like this!

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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.

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