30 November 2024

Bucketing

Cro Magnon amused me earlier today . When once again bragging about extolling the virtues of the city of Brighton, he declared that ice skating on the rink in front of The Royal Pavilion was definitely NOT on his "Bucket List".

This made me reflect upon the things I would not want on my own "Bucket List" - a kind of "Anti-Bucket List".  I have come up with ten things:-

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1. I would not want to swim with dolphins. They might bite or carry infection.

2. I would not want to climb Mount Everest. Such a trip would be very expensive and very dangerous too for my Sherpa guides as well as me.

3. I would not want to visit the wreck of "The Titanic" in a mini-submarine. I mean - what's the point? I can just look at photos or video footage created by someone else.

4. I would not want a tattoo of any description - not because of the pain involved but because they are all so passé - pointless and uninteresting. Whenever I see them I think of flocks of sheep.

5. I would not want dinner with Donald J. Trump in Mar-a-Lago or indeed anywhere else. The guy is a boorish, somewhat demented narcissist and his dinner conversation would be very tedious.

6. I would not want to go sky-diving - even if was for some worthy charity. I had  a tandem paragliding experience in Turkey back in 2008 and that was quite enough for me. See here.

7. I would not want to run a marathon - leaving aside the obvious point that I would be incapable of such an achievement. Running twenty six miles is so unappealing when I could simply walk it without having to don a lycra running suit and ridiculously expensive day-glo running shoes.

8. I would not want to swim with crocodiles. They have sharp teeth and are frequently hungry. To be honest, swimming with dolphins would be infinitely preferable. (Also would not want to swim with piranhas)

9. I would not want to appear as a contestant on "Strictly Come Dancing". For one thing, I am not a celebrity and for another thing, I have never been a fan of ballroom dancing. Give me traditional folk dancing any time!

10. I would not want to travel into outer space aboard a rocket ship. I don't want to bounce around on our lifeless moon like a loon and I have absolutely no interest in visiting Mars. Apart from anything else, such trips take humans away from the realities of living on Earth  and burn up aviation fuel as if there was no tomorrow... which, when I think of the climate crisis, is probably true.

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Please name one item you would have on your own Anti-Bucket List

49 comments:

  1. I would like to kick D. trump in the gonads, wearing very heavy boots,

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  2. I will never ever vote for a republican.... (lower case r on purpose, they do not deserve a capital letter).

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  3. Items 2 through 10. I WOULD like to swim with dolphins. I've been on the very front of a small sailboat where they accompanied us just out of reach of my outstretched hand and they were delightful.

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    Replies
    1. What if the dolphins are hungry for the raw flesh of a North Dakotan?

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  4. The one item that stands out from your list would be my never ever, not even for ten million dollars! Dinner with Donald Trump. For the rest I'd maybe get a tattoo, bracelet style with my name, birthdate and blood group, so they know if I am ever whisked to hospital and unable to communicate.

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    Replies
    1. What if your arm was chopped off in the accident?

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    2. I would hope they'd find it and identify me.

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  5. Oh I do hope you change your mind about number 7. I would so like to see the photos.

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    1. You just want to laugh at me you young hussy!

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  6. It's a bit hard to think of one that you haven't covered already. I probably will but on my Anti-Bucket list is flying. The stress is unbelievable to me. I just hate it.

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    Replies
    1. My biceps are not up to it any more either.

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  7. Jump out of a plane relying on a parachute to open out. What are the odds it will not?

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    Replies
    1. The sky diving company will swear blind that it has never happened.

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  8. As long as I live, I dont want to see another church community of mine collapse and die.
    I don't want to be lied to or manipulated.
    I don't want to live and work away from the sun and the trees.
    I don't want to see the earth destroyed.
    I don't want vulnerable people and animals to suffer cruelty and abuse.
    I don't ever again want to reach my highest weight.

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    Replies
    1. Noble aspirations. The last one makes me think of a space hopper.

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  9. My anti-bucket list would be rather similar to yours. It would include that I never want to have cosmetic surgery to get rid of wrinkles, plump up my lips or increase the size of my breasts.

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    1. I notice that you did not exclude having a butt lift Meike!

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    2. I also did not include a nose job, or having my ears flattened, or a hair transplant.

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    3. Is there anything else you could have... like a remodelled belly button?

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  10. I never want to see a Tory party win an election ever again and I would like all Hoovers to be made silent.

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    Replies
    1. I guess those wishes could be reworded as bucket list items.

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  11. Um... is this another quiz? I got all 10 answers right! /Right?

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    Replies
    1. No, it is not a quiz. Please learn to read more carefully instead of skimming like a duck.

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  12. I would agree with all of those, but what makes you think that TRUMP would hold a conversation? He would pontificate, and instantly halt any interruption.

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    1. I think he would find that I am better at pontificating and would instantly halt his unmannerly interruptions with, "Shut it Donald!"

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  13. I'd swim with dolphins. I
    'd stay off the Mount.
    I'd not go underwater to see a shipwreck.
    I have tattoos.
    I would never want to be near The Felon.
    I've been skydiving; it was fabulous.
    I'd not run a marathon because ... running?
    I'd not go near a croc.
    I'd never do any dancing show.
    I might like a quick trip in space just to see the Earth first hand from up there.

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    Replies
    1. Have you got "I Should Be Laughing" across your chest?

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    2. Nope. I have a ring of barbed wire around an ankle, with Chinese characters for Compassion, Friendship, Peace and Truth as well as a Yin/Yang symbol,

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  14. "Amen" to all of yours. I also actually have no wish any more to travel very wide and far at all, even if not involving outer space, the bottom of the sea or the top of the highest mountains (which were never on my wish-list in the first place!)

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    1. Now you have had time to think, have you got any extras?

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  15. Yes, I think I'd agree with all the items on your bucket list and can't think of any I'd add. Do be careful what you say YP., your very last comment (in response to Cro) might land you in jail with some trumped-up charge hanging over you!

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    1. Thank you for your wise advice Carol. I am such a fool!

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  16. On my anti-bucket list would be a cruise - all those people and thumping musak and the pollution and the chance of contracting some debilitating illness, and not even a quiet river cruise, either. Also on my anti-bucket list would be the term 'bucket list.'

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    1. Ha-ha! I had also considered the very idea of a "bucket list"!

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  17. I do not want to enter Politics in anyway.
    I do not want to serve on the Condo Homeowners Board of directors.

    Many years ago I was swimming the Gulf of Mexico off the coast of Florida and fins popped up in the water around me, three or four of them. Not sharks, I was swimming with dolphins in the wild, totally unplanned. My soon to be Ex on the beach was freaking out. I was having the time of my life.

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    Replies
    1. Did you make love with those dolphins?

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    2. Heavens no, even in Florida that would be illegal.

      A bill came up a few years ago to ban bestiality in Tennessee and someone argued that it was not that big of a deal and why waste time outlawing it.

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  18. Some days just getting out of bed is on my anti-bucket list of things I do not wish to do. And yet...of course I do.

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    Replies
    1. I think we all feel that... some days.

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  19. I'm with you on all of these, although I already have a (very small) tattoo. There's a story behind it and that makes it special to me, but I don't see the need for the big, full-body-as-a-canvas varieties we often see nowadays.

    My rule of thumb in life is that I don't go where I can't breathe. That rules out space and anything in deep water.

    I don't think swimming with crocodiles is a thing, is it?

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    Replies
    1. Nobody has reported swimming with crocodiles.

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  20. There are lots of things I wouldn't want to do. Your list has mentioned a lot of them.

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    Replies
    1. Would you want to be The Governor of Illinois?

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  21. Re no 9 - I can just picture you in a Morris Dancer costume.

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    Replies
    1. Morris dancers' outfits ARE rather sexy I think.

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  22. There are so many things I wouldn't want to do. I've never understood the whole Everest thing, especially among people with children.
    I did a half marathon once, race walking, and at the end of it realized I could never do a full marathon.
    My bucket list would involve plantings trees I think, among other things.

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    Replies
    1. There are too many bucket lists around but tree planting should be on everybody's bucket list Pixie.

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