The law should state that...
...every worker is entitled to an extra day off on his or her birthday.
...every person qualified to vote must do so in local and national elections.
...every citizen is entitled to an annual carbon footprint allowance that must not be exceeded. (Size of allowance to be determined by a committee of climate and environmental experts).
...the sale, purchase and use of tobacco products is prohibited along with all vapes and vaping products.
...politicians must not work beyond the age of seventy - retirement being compulsory at that age.
...road surfacing contractors must have their work inspected after two years. If there is significant deterioration then they must fully reimburse the authorities who paid them.
...use of smartphones while driving will prohibit offenders from owning or using another smartphone for twelve months.
...those spammers who advertise products or services via blog comments should be hunted down and jailed for a minimum of six months.
...the wearing of red "MAGA" caps is illegal.
...anyone driving a brand new Nissan Juke is entitled to receive free petrol for life.
...when apprehended, Boris Johnson is to be be given a compulsory vasectomy.
...anyone caught deliberately dropping litter must work as an unpaid refuse collector for one full week under the instructions of their local council.
...all privately owned guns in America's fifty states must be surrendered to the authorities for disposal as gun ownership is phased out.
... reality TV programmes are hereby banned.
... in wealthy, western countries homelessness is illegal with the guilty parties being not the homeless themselves but the authorities who fail to ensure that every human in their orbit has a roof over their head and somewhere safe to sleep.
I like the law on guns. So if this law passed. I wonder about it's enforcement? I think there would be a new definition of chaos.
ReplyDeleteEnforcement? Let's not fuss about the fine details.
DeleteMansplaining shall be made illegal.
ReplyDeleteAll men must take turns with their spouse, doing all household chores, doing these chores at least as well as their spouse.
Therapy shall be mandatory for everyone.
Everyone shall volunteer one day a week.
...Canadian women to hold their tongues when Yorkshiremen are around.
DeleteYes!
ReplyDelete1) All leafblowers are banned. Anyone who uses them will be heftily sued and the offending device has to be handed over for dismantling.
2) Small children are NOT to be entertained on balconies, terraces, patios, other open spaces or nearby open doors/windows before 8:00 in the morning.
3) Men with loud, deep voices are NOT to have lengthy phone conversations in the flats below or above me after 10:00 pm.
For Law No. 1, I mean "...will be heftily fined", not sued.
Delete...mature single women in apartments to wear ear mufflers when at home.
DeleteAh now, let me guess what your new car is! Could it possibly be a Nissan Juke?
ReplyDeleteYour powers of deduction are remarkable!
DeleteI can...but am too polite to post them here.
ReplyDelete...pig-headed men aged over seventy are not allowed to perform roof repairs.
DeleteTrolls should be volunteered to work in care homes
ReplyDeleteThat is letting them off too lightly!
DeleteSo that's the car you bought. I don't think we have them here. (Wrong, there are five models available here)
ReplyDeleteI'm a little hesitant about the carbon footprint law.
Mine.
All radio talkback callers must cease to say, "Thanks for taking my call".
When asked a direct question by an interviewer, politicians must give a direct answer and then explain the background.
All civil fines must be matched to income and lifestyle.
I could be here for a long time. There are more blogs I need to read.
I applaud "All civil fines must be matched to income and lifestyle" and would have included this on my list if I had thought of it.
DeleteSo your new car will be a Nissan Juke?
ReplyDeleteYou got it Miss Marple!
DeleteDo you mean everyone driving an Nissan Jute at some specified time or within a certain period thereafter gets free petrol until they die? Or do they have to keep driving a Nissan Jute to qualify for the free petrol?
ReplyDeleteThe Nissan Jute must be produced exclusively for the picky Australian market. Here we only have the Nissan Juke!
DeleteAll vacuum cleaners and hair dryers should banned along with soap operas and the Repair Shop.
ReplyDeleteI also dislike "The Repair Shop" and yeah - the other three too even though I was addicted to "EastEnders" for many years.
DeleteALL Politicians should NOT receive exorbitant pensions and benefits for life upon retirement, but should be given only the same age pension and benefits as regular people.
ReplyDeleteIf put to a referendum, this proposal would receive massive support.
DeleteEating garlic , chile, or excessively strong curry, should be penalised by compulsory house arrest until the smell goes away.
ReplyDeleteThe Pudding of Puddings Legislature approves of foreign food or as many people here in Yorkshire call it - foreign muck!
DeletePickup trucks and large SUVs should only be owned by people who have a justifiable reason to use them such as farmers, and tradesmen.
ReplyDeleteThis excellent new law has been unanimously approved by The Pudding of Puddings Legislature.
DeleteI usually put up a list of my personal laws every Saturday under 'Why Is It ...'
ReplyDeleteLaw One:- Worship King Bob!
Delete"every person qualified to vote must do so in local and national elections" - I would want them to know the facts and truth of what or who they are voting for.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you want to live in an ideal world Ellen! Nothing wrong with that.
DeleteMy car should be equipped with a heavy perfume fogger that would go right into the intake vents of anyone tailgating me. Pick your favorite over-the-top fragrance. I'm thinking bad perfume or aftershave, not BO.
ReplyDeleteBonnie in Minneapolis
I think you will need to purchase a Ford Fartmobile Bonnie!
DeleteI'm seeing some enforcement difficulties here! LOL! I agree with most of your proposals, but not mandatory voting -- people ought to be able to sit out an election if they want to. It's a valid form of protest.
ReplyDeleteI would mandate that all households have to have a rubbish bin. No more setting loose bags on sidewalks (sorry, pavements) for collection. The foxes always get to them first.
I am hoping to recruit a crack team of retired librarians as enforcers.
DeletePrivate religious schools will be shuttered and all monies returned to the coffers of public schools.
ReplyDeleteAll religious institutions, churches and synagogs and mosques must pay taxes!
All parents will be required to read to their children every day from that child's day of birth.
Well, that is three laws. Should I go on???
They will do nicely for now Donna. Sounds to me like you might be woke! Don't tell the MAGAts!
Delete