Arms

It's quiz night at "The Blogger Arms"  and customers have been teleported into the pub from every corner of the globe. Remember how they did it in "Star Trek"? Incredible technology.

Here they all are indulging in their favourite tipples before the quiz starts. Over there I can see Steve Reed with a dirty martini talking to Coppa's Girl (Carol) who is enjoying a pint of sangria with Cro Magnon who is supping neat "Ricard". In yon corner Dave Northsider is secretly canoodling with JayCee Manx. Both of them are married - it's scandalous!  She appears to be drinking a small gin and tonic but Dave has half a dozen bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale lined up on their table. So romantic!

Jason Fox (aka Arctic Fox) dressed in a rainbow coloured kaftan is swigging craft beers made in obscure Yorkshire valleys while Meike Riley is necking a bottle of best German Riesling. They are conversing with two American bloggers - Mary Moon who is drinking a dirty martini just like Steve and Bruce Taylor who is clinging to a pint bottle of Jack Daniels and doesn't appear to require a glass. He is wearing a red MAGA cap.

By the door is the Canadian table. Jenny O'Hara, Nurse Pixie, Keith Kline, Shammickite and Debra Whoseeks are politely sharing a medium bottle of sparkling water. On the other side of the door is The Australian table where Raucous Andrew from Melbourne and Wild Elsie from Adelaide, Doula Kylie Tai, Marcellous The Marvellous and Sweet Helen from Brisbane are sharing an endless supply of cold tinnies by Fosters.

It's hard to keep track of who is here and who is not. There's Ed from Iowa in his Hopalong Cassidy cowboy suit, martini-swilling Jennifer Barlow dressed as an air hostess and Bob Slatten in  his padded Donald Trump costume - complete with swollen legs and bruised hands. Gorgeous Ellen from Illinois is nattering with Luscious Kelly from Arkansas and poor Michael from Virginia just cannot get a word in edgeways. He appears to be drinking "Guinness". Tasker Dunham is playing his guitar and singing "The Goole Blues" over a foaming  pint of "Old Git" as Frances from Harpenden peers at him like a lovesick puppy over a green cocktail.

Mysterious Monica and Sagacious Thelma are sitting at the bar with Dogwoman Janice swigging tequila shots  as Sir Graham Edwards and Addy from south east London enjoy a game of cribbage with two old timers from Washington D.C. - namely David and his Hamster. They are drinking expensive French champagne as David is very wealthy and demands the best even when he is in the mood for boozing with lesser mortals.

Over there you can see the exclusive "D" table where blog visitors whose names begin with "D" can guzzle Spanish wine to their hearts' content - Diaday, Debs, Debbie, Debra, Deborah, Deirdre, Dora Peppalady etc.. Nearby, Traveller and Tigger's Mum and drinking crème de menthe at the "T" table as they compare the merits of different supermarkets.

Oh-oh! Here comes the quizmaster with his microphone. He climbs up onto the little stage next to the Gents toilet wearing a bright red Welsh rugby jersey. Why! I do declare - it's none other than John Humphrey Gray - the famous Welsh blogger from the mountain village of Trewlanyd. Expertly, he settles the boisterous attendees...

"All right! Shut the **** up and listen! The quiz will start in  three minutes! Make sure you have an answer sheet on your table and a pen too!"

The quiz will be teleported to tomorrow's blogpost.

P.S. Tonight, England Women beat Spain on penalties in the final of the Euros  tournament that was played in Switzerland. Such drama! Such delight! Well done my bonny lasses!