Looking up at the strip light on the ceiling. And that big circular operating light. Glaring down. My Iraqi dentist is wearing blue rubber gloves, safety glasses and a beige coloured hijab. What are those things in her fingers? Perhaps miniature weapons of mass destruction. The ones they never found. "Open wider for me please". That gurgling siphon thing sucks excess water and saliva from my mouth quite inefficiently for I am still close to drowning as I gulp like a pelican.
"Are you all right?" "Arrr...arr...arr". Translated that means "Beam me up Scottie!" Kayleigh, the attractive sunbed bronzed dental nurse, fusses about bringing instruments and dental paste. I hope I remembered to zip up my flyhole. The place where I keep my fly.
Saja drills into my skull. Grinding away like a stonemason. But I was against the post 9/11 invasion of Iraq! Don't punish me! It was Bush and Blair. Not me! Please! The torture will surely last forever. Looking up at the striplight into eternity. My mouth is one of my most intimate and private places and yet I have allowed this Islamic woman in there willingly. Not with her tongue French kissing me but with metal implements I cannot see. Aren't torturers meant to cackle with malicious joy? But she gets on with her job - the one she was trained for over several years.
I am grateful that she managed to squeeze me in after the initial morning consultation. I stagger out feeling violated and sore but I thank Saja and Kayleigh for their service. Even on the NHS we have to pay a bit extra for dental treatment. My bank card makes the card machine bleep successfully. More cash for dentist holidays. I walk home silently praying that the treatment I have received will indeed be the solution to my oral discomfort.
Fortunately, I was able to manage it during out time in Egypt though there were a few moments when I thought I would have to leave the river cruise to visit an Egyptian dentist. He or she would undoubtedly have held a palm out for "baksheesh"...for services rendered. It was probably the ancient Egyptians who first performed proper dentistry over 4500 years ago. I believe they got there before the Chinese.
The Egyptians did a lot of things well before the debacle of the dark ages. I'll spare you my thoughts (and ramblings) on mouth pain.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sparing me Kelly!
DeleteReliving the famous scene from "Marathon Man"?
ReplyDeleteI had to remind myself. Poor Dustin Hoffman! No wonder he has aged so much!
DeleteDoc Holliday my dentist always gave a very fine service.
ReplyDeleteDoc only ever had to pull one tooth, using extraction forceps.
After, he poured me a glass of rum. I believe they buried Doc in Colorado.
I'm just thankful there is Novocain in the world. I can't imagine dental care without it. Glad you survived:)
ReplyDeleteTake comfort in the fact that she wasn't Dr Christian Szell.
ReplyDeleteAfter the many years of dental treatment I've had , I think I'm somewhat used to it.
ReplyDeleteBeing released from the dentist is like being granted freedom.
ReplyDeleteThat was rather funny. When we visit the dentist he is an inch away from burying one of his instruments in your throat and you just pray that they stay sane as you lie there.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Pixie. Without novocain I don't think I would go to the dentist!
ReplyDeleteDental torture is the worst. Luckily, we've found a dentist with a gentle touch!
ReplyDeleteIronically, I am heading to my dentist's office this morning... Just a regular checkup and cleaning, though...
ReplyDeleteMy Turkish dentist (trained at the University of Maryland) is very gentle and talented, and recently sold the practice and has cut back to only working a couple of days a week. I will miss his talent when he fully retires.
ReplyDeleteI'm having major dental work next week and not on the NHS either. I'll keep you posted
ReplyDeleteI hate those gurgling sucking things they use at the dentist.They're never very efficient. I'm glad you got your tooth taken care of, even if the circumstances were less than ideal. At least you got an NHS appointment. We do all our dental care privately, which is expensive, but otherwise it would take forever to get in and see anyone. (I did learn years ago that the key to getting an NHS dental appointment is to use the word PAIN.)
ReplyDeleteDentists are our heroes when we are in terrible pain and yet, no one really loves a dentist. Well, some may but I do not know them. I'm glad you got this taken care of.
ReplyDeleteI had a root canal a couple of weeks ago, after taking a course of antibiotics to address an infection. It was still somewhat sore but luckily the dentist gave me enough numbing to freeze a horse.
ReplyDeleteWhen going through things like that, I like to remember my mother telling me she had a tooth drilled and the power of the drill was a foot treadle contraption.
Urgh, I hate dentists.
ReplyDeleteI have my own dental appointment tomorrow morning, but it will be painless, my denture has become illfitting now that the gum has fully receded and it needs to be "refitted" which means a mold of my final gum shape is taken and sent to the lab along with the denture to be "made to match" again and I go back in the afternoon to get it back.
ReplyDeleteI have to say there is no way I would have managed a toothache through a trip along The Nile, when any of my teeth go bad it escalates VERY quickly. I am glad yours has finally been taken care of.
I had hoped toothache would not spoil your holiday. It seems to me that it was pretty close.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're ok now.
"Ouch"! You endured that "torture" like the brave Yorkshire man you are YP!
ReplyDelete