19 March 2008

Blonde

A ventriloquist touring workingmen's clubs finds himself at Woodseats in Sheffield.

He's going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says:"I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes you arsehole! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's peoples like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women in general... all in the name of humour."

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologise, when the blonde says: "And you can stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little bastard sat on your knee!"

The Internet is filled with discriminatory blonde jokes like the above. Blondes are the new Irish. A few regular readers of this blog are blondes - including Jennyta @ Demob Hippy Teacher and none of her entries confirm the joke blonde stereotype - well not many of them. Do you know any good blonde jokes we can all share with Jennyta?

6 comments:

  1. Being a maths phobic, YP, I think the example on your post would be just about at my level. ;)
    Does one's intelligence grow as one becomes grey though?

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  2. What about the "Blondes are not dumb" conference held in Huddersfield recently?

    80,000 blondes attended, along with the world's press and media, in a bid to lay this stereotypical blonde bashing myth to rest.

    The spokeswoman addressed the gathered throng, and asked for a volunteer to come forward to disprove the myth with a bout of mental arithmetic.... eventually one girl came forward....

    A hush fell over the audience and the world listened with baited breath as the spokeswoman spoke... "Tell everyone here what is 95 plus 95"

    The volunteer stared into the distance and you could have cut the atmosphere with a knife... eventually, she blurts out her answer "38?"

    Everyone groaned.

    Suddenly the crowd began chanting “give her another chance, give her another chance”

    So, the spokeswoman says, "What's 25 plus 25?"

    More staring and cutting with a knife, followed by the answer "234?"

    More groans
    More chants

    “Give her another chance, give her another chance”

    “Ok, we will let her have one more go… can you tell me what is 2 plus 2?”

    After a very short time, our plucky volunteer triumphantly shrieks, “it’s four… it’s four”

    A moment of silence, followed by 80,000 spectators voices –

    “Give her another chance, give her another chance”

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well.... I am a blond. Naturally although somewhat gray. I had that pointed out the other day by a neighbor just learning English. He told me that my hair was gray and my eyes were blue. I was just proud that he could say it.

    Why was the blond's computer monitor covered with white out?

    well you get the picture. I much prefer chicken jokes.

    Why did the pervert cross the road?

    Cause he was stuck to the chicken.

    Opps. did I offend someone??

    ReplyDelete
  4. How about a Jessica Simpson quote: "How did you guys run so slowly in that opening Baywatch scene... you know, where you're running down the beach?" (upon meeting Pamela Anderson)

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  5. Nowt wrong with being blonde Mr Pudding!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Just ran across this one...and bear in mind, I'm only reporting, I didn't write it:

    Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and while there she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

    One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her he ad. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

    A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

    Linda is blonde and a Democrat who is going to vote for Hillary, but I'm certain that's irrelevant, I just thought I'd mention it.

    ReplyDelete

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