We are going on our summer holiday.
No more working for a week or two.
We are bound for sunny Turkey
Bet you wish you were coming too
We're going where the sun shines brightly
We're going where the sea is blue..."SUITCASE CHECK:-
- Sun lotion
- Sandals and white ankle socks
- Superman beach towel
- Rubber ring
- Tetley's Teabags (180 pack)
- "War and Peace" by Leo Tolstoy (Thanks Alkelda)
- Binoculars for bikinis on beach survey (purely sociological)
- "The Complete History of Hull City A.F.C." in six volumes.
- "Islam Sucks!" T-shirt
- "Turkey isn't for life it's for Christmas" T-shirt
- "British Lager Lout on Tour" T-shirt.
- Homer Simpson swimming shorts.
- Flesh coloured "Speedo" thong.
- Swimming mask for bikinis under water survey (purely sociological)
- "Midnight Express" DVD
- Pet rat - Roland (starving) in case of customs search.
- Fart powder to slip in holiday rep's "welcome meeting" Sangria.
- After sun lotion.
- Map showing location of nearest medical centre.
- String vest x 2
- Y-Fronts (White) x 10
- Andrews Liver Salts
- Camera for bikini survey (purely sociological)
- 200 new Turkish lira (Not old ones!)
- £10 note for entry visa.
- Box of ballpoint pens and small hand mirrors to give to the peasants.
- "Visit Sheffield" leaflets to give to waiters and housekeepers in lieu of tips.
- Jar of cranberry sauce ( after all we are visiting Turkey!)
- Oh and plane tickets... always very useful.