22 April 2008

Balance

HATE LIST: mobile phones (cell phones), cigarettes, rap music, personalised number plates, bloggers who just disappear, "A Town Called Alice" by Neville Shute, Noel Edmonds, dark Bournville chocolate, tea without sugar, The Conservative Party, religion, the offside rule in football, Londoners (not Reidski), litter, killing small creatures - including flies, "The Daily Mail", "The Sun", dog dirt on my shoe, cars parked on urban grass verges, tattoos (see below), "My Family"(TV show), assistant referees, Maths teachers, OFSTED, Jackson Pollock, Alexander Pope, those who sexploit Page Three girls, Ringo Starr (arrogant tosser), tailgaters, hospital operations on TV, the extinction of unique creatures, bullying, bragging, bad breath, queue jumpers, chavvy baseball caps and shattered bus stops.

LOVE LIST: curry, Bob Dylan, Saturday mornings, The Moon rising, feeding birds, helping others, words, the possibilities of photography, swimming in warm seas, Sunday dinner with my family, our cat Boris, the works of Bill Bryson, Paul Theroux, Dylan Thomas and John Fowles, maps, facts about foreign countries, Google Earth, Van Gogh, Americana, writing songs, old secondhand household objects, driftwood, Victorian bottles, lying on my back watching the first swallows from a summer lawn, Joni Mitchell, "EastEnders", wood carving, bay leaves, neck ties, travel websites, travelling, kissing, baked potatoes, "Tetleys" bitter, Tony Benn, Arthur Scargill, drystone walls, Hull City AFC, St Faith's graveyard in East Yorkshire, laughter, unexpected acts of kindness, airports, empty motorways, silence...

19 comments:

  1. goddess of clarity5:02 pm

    I'm with you on cell phones, cigarettes, bullying, and bad breath; and curry, maps, Americana, and laughter...

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  2. But there are so many Londoners - surely you can't hate all of them? I mean, if you hate each Londoner for one second, and take eight hours a day of from all that hate to get some sleep, it would take you five years to hate all of them. There have to be better ways of spending five years...

    Swallows and drystone walls I'll go with, but unfortunately I can't hear the name "Boris" without thinking of the Tory Mayoral Candidate...

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  3. Kissing baked potatoes? I worry about you, YP. I thought OFSTED would be number 1 on the hate list though.

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  4. How could anyone NOT love a drystone wall? Because I've never lived in an area where they were traditional I have always been in awe of them and will stand and stare when in the Dales, happy to gawp, happy to admire.

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  5. GODDESS - I bow to ye!
    BUT WHY - I hate them collectively - rather as someone might hate a bag of sugar that consists of many individual crystals. Also our furry Boris would probably make a better mayor than Boris Tosser!
    JENNYTA - There was a comma between "kissing" and "baked potato" but now I come to think of it French kissing cool baked potatoes would be an excellent way for adolescents to improve their kissing skills!
    MOPSA - Why not make your own HATE/LOVE list? Drystone walls of Yorkshire and Derbyshire are almost literally as old as the hills with stories of long ago to tell us.

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  6. mmmmmmmmmmmm Tetley's
    Is Arthur Scargill still around ?

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  7. Oh geez! I fit almost as many of your "hate" categories as I do the "redneck" categories in the States. But, that's okay. I know you still love me (or love that you're allowed to tease me mercilessly) at the end of the day. *snicker*

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  8. A comma, eh? Have to get out my pince nez. ;)

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  9. Thanks! For your wit, courage and great blog ideas. Mind if I pinch the things I hate/love one?
    Write that Yorkshire story.

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  10. Deirdre12:51 am

    I agree with so many of those...both love and hate...apart from Bob Dylan...just don't seem to be able to 'get' him ....although that could be just the whiny voice...maybe the lyrics are amazing?.....ps love your blog

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  11. You hate bloggers who just disappear? Harumph. I just post sporadically, that's all. And why do you hate Ringo Starr? He's the Landlady's daughter's favorite Beatle, but then Lucia is partial to drummers.

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  12. P.S. Football would be rather dull without the offside rule. All a player would have to do is hang out by the goalie in the hopes that someone passes him the ball. Perhaps you would prefer a game of croquet, monsieur?

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  13. DAVID - If you drank a few pints of Tetleys you wouldn't even be able recognise Sir Arthur if he sat beside you!
    FRIDAY (Amy) There are exceptions to every rule and sometimes we are drawn to the traits we claim to despise.
    JENNYTA Pince nez? i think you need a bloody great Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass!
    DELPHINE Wit and courage? Oh you are making me blush! Like to come back to my place so we can "blog" together?
    DEIRDRE After finishing with Delphine, I will be happy to guide you through my Dylan collection with a running explanatory commentary. We could also stop to "blog" for a while.
    BRAGORILLA Glad the State Prison has finally let you out again. I would like to see your HATE/LOVE list and I hereby challenge you to make such lists on your dormant blog - instead of standing on the touchline criticising the players! To get you started HATE - Gorilla hunters, "King Kong", bathroom scales LOVE - Bananas, farting, nests made of tropical vegetation!

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  14. I'm with you on all but three hates, and all but thirteen loves .. and some of those are because I have no experience of them, like your cat and St Faith's graveyard. I would love Tetley bitter but I am not allowed to drink anything anymore. *Kicks rock*

    I'm laughing at But Why's answer to your comment about Londoners (where I was born, it is, though I don't live there now) and at your answer to Jennyta!

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  15. Aren't you a teacher Mr Pudding old chap? surely you forgot 'going to work on a thursday' from your hates list?

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  16. Did you get the croque-monsieur joke, though?

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  17. Londoners? Ah, that old northern inferiority complex shines through again!

    "Oh maybe it's because I'm a Lunnuner that I love Lunnun Tahn!"

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  18. I was looking for a good photo of Ringo Starr , so I Googled " Ringo tosser " and it led me here .... so .... Yes , I agree with you on that ........ was he the luckiest guy in musical history ? ..... I'd say yes and now for him to come out and announce to his fans that he will no longer be replying to their mail ...... what arrogance !!!

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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.