I don't like going up to bed when the computer is still on. I like to make sure that it has shut down properly and made its final sigh. But occasionally I find myself waiting for Windows Updates. You know the kind of thing - Don't power off or unplug your machine - Installing Update 1 of 324.
On Wednesday night I stayed up far too late trying to craft my poem "No Going Back". In fact it was round about two o'clock in the morning when I reeled away from the computer only to see that damned Updates message popping up again. Update 1 was over quickly, but Updates 6, 8 and 15 seemed to take absolutely ages, that little loading wheel spinning round and round maddeningly like a miniature catherine wheel. Finally, finally at about two thirty five, the computer powered off and I could go and get some sleep.
I have absolutely no idea what these hideous Updates are all about or why we need them. It doesn't seem possible to press an opt-out button - "Nah! Not today thank you!". Why can't they update in the middle of a computer session? Why must they wait till the very end? And there seems to be no pattern to these Updates. Days and days can go by with no Updates at all and then suddenly there's a whole bunch of them.
Does anyone share my irritation about Adobe Updates or Skype Updates too? I am starting to think that this updating malarkey is a subtle kind of marketing - making you feel that you are in league with a conscientious organisation that is constantly improving its product. What would happen if we were all somehow able to bar Updates? Would our computers crash? Or would computer sessions just trundle along as before?