|Reindeer with Bells On by Grace Savage (Aged 7) - unwittingly|
sucked in to Clegg's political propaganda machine
Every so often "Nick" sends out mailings to his constituents - trying to keep us sweet and to bang the drum for all the wonderful things the LibDems have allegedly done - both for Sheffield and for the country at large. These missives are immediately re-directed to our paper recycling bin.
Just last week we received a Christmas card from "Nick". There was a reindeer's head on the front - painted by Grace Savage (aged 7). Inside there was what appeared to be a handwritten note from the noble prophet himself on blue paper. For a moment, I imagined him writing twenty five thousand personal letters to the electors of Sheffield Hallam until I realised that it was all a hoax! The letter was merely a copy - a facsimile, a pretence. It wasn't what it first appeared to be and that was when I realised that I had been "clegged".
It is a verb I should like to see in The Oxford English Dictionary. "Nick" should be even more proud of himself than usual for not everybody finds their name entering the English language for posterity:-
to clegg - To send someone unsolicited but seemingly personalised mail with the intention of enhancing the reputation of the sender or to accrue unmerited financial profit.
|Why has Clegg addressed me as "friend" when|
I am his sworn enemy?
|A graphologist would surely think that N.W.P.C's|
handwriting was feminine
This may lead the way for further additions to the English language. To cameron - to talk bollix whilst looking like Thomas the Tank Engine. To obama - to lead with eloquent grace and foresight. To gowans - an alternative term for "cold turkey" when depriving oneself of alcohol. Oh and if you are reading this Clegg - please don't send any more of your literature to our house. We're sick of it...you dumb schmuck!