17 May 2015

Audience

Occasionally, I look at the statistics that clever Professor Blogger gathers about this blog. Here you can see this month's "pageviews"  top ten - showing countries inhabited by discerning visitors  to "Yorkshire Pudding":-
Unsurprisingly the so-called "United Kingdom" is in top place, closely followed by The United States where my nemesis dwells in the heart of Georgia. No doubt two thousand of those visits are down to him alone. I am also not surprised to see Germany, Australia and Canada in my top ten as visitors from those fine nations have, in drunken stupors, often left comments.

However, what I do find surprising is the number of hits I get from Russia and Ukraine. Nobody from either of these wonderful countries has ever left a comment or indicated that they were following this blog. 1113 Russian visitors and 758 from Ukraine this past month and that volume is not unusual.

Perhaps they are shy people or perhaps they arrived here by mistake when looking for perfect Yorkshire pudding recipes. I have heard it said that Yorkshire puddings are revered in both Russia and Ukraine where there are Yorkshire pudding palaces and restaurants that sell nothing but Yorkshire puddings. They are very cultured people.

Through this post I wish to extend a hand of friendship to all my hitherto silent Russian and Ukrainian visitors in the hope that they will reveal themselves to the blogosphere. So to all Russians out there I say:-
And to all Ukrainian visitors I say:-
For those who are not fluent in Russian and Ukrainian, the message was "Hello Russians/Ukrainians! Do not be afraid. Please leave a comment."

Who knows, if Russian and Ukrainian comments start to flood in. The United Nations might one day employ me as a mediator to sort out the Ukrainian conflict that appears to be boring Western media channels to death. It's still there but I would need a posse of bodyguards and a villa with swimming pool in the suburbs of Kiev. I could arm-wrestle with Mr Putin or pin him down and mercilessly tickle his armpits saying "I'll not stop till you've pulled your men out of Ukrainian territory!" He'd be laughing so much he'd surely wee his pants.

21 comments:

  1. I have never been able to make much sense of Blogger Stats. I'm just amazed that I have any at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are your stats still 36-26-36 darling?

      Delete
    2. More like 26-36-26 (in ratio proportion if not in actual measurement!)

      Delete
  2. I was told they are mostly automated hits
    Whatever those are

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You mean we are being tracked by Russian and Ukrainian robots? I have never befriended a robot before but I admired Robot Plant - Led Zeppelin's lead singer.

      Delete
  3. You've got me thinking. Where do my visitors come from? I'll have to look. I do appreciate those from the United Kingdom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those of us who have English as a first language enjoy a special bond. I guess that you will also have visitors from Russia, Ukraine and probably China too. They are keeping a close eye on us just in case these blogs we write contain coded top secret messages.

      Delete
  4. I'll have you know , Mr. Pudding, I've never written a response to a comment of yours (or those of others, for that matter) while in a drunken stupor! Hic! Not that I recall, anyway! Hic!

    Every now and then I look at the blog stats, too wondering if they're for real.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hang on, hang on...if you are saying "Hic!" that means you were as drunk as a skunk when you wrote this comment Lee! There is more to life than boozing you know!

      Delete
    2. Hic! Wot? Hic!

      Delete
  5. The food is absolutely amazing. I hope I could taste and cook that in actual, maybe if I have much time since I am so busy working. Anyways, thanks for sharing your article. God Bless and have a good day. Visit my site too.

    triciajoy.com

    www.triciajoy.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What food...?

      [I know, I know. Don't feed the trolls and all that.]

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    2. WARNING "triciajoy.com" is a malware infected site. Do not click on it!
      And to Andrea Chiu, I say - Are you Ukrainian or Russian? Unlike Frau Meike, you are certainly not a trustworthy ambassador!

      Delete
  6. After having read your post, I looked at my blog's stats; haven't done that in a long time. Mine are not as impressive as yours, but I do get my share of Russian and Ukrainian visitors, too.
    I also get comments from those countries, but they never make it through my spam filter...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I saw one before the spam filter removed it:- "Dear Frau Riley, You have seeming like vary kind of lady. I am needing of your help. Mine family have little food and we have need money to getting through this month. Mine daughter ist in wheelchair and hospital bill it vary long. Many roubles.Many. Many. Please sending me what you can. Yankee dollar best of all. Maybe two hundred?.....Your friend in Russia, Aneka x"

      Delete
  7. Can't remember when I last looked at my stats. Must have a look. The bots are having a great time these days. Why is North Korea not interested in you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is only one laptop in North Korea and Kim Jong-un only uses it for accessing basketball sites and pictures of ladies in various states of undress.

      Delete
  8. Ah, ok, bots you say John? From Russia and the Ukraine. I have been surprised at the number of them I am getting too. When I follow the origin back I find most of them are from (yuk) porn sites, and I confess I was wondering what the connection could be.
    'Sigh, how borink are all dees bottoms and watsits, I thenk I vill haf a lok at dat Las Visble Dog lufflee sunsets and uzza sings"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kate - Your grasp of Russian in the last two sentences was uncannily realistic!

      Delete
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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.