31 January 2018

Chocolate

At Christmas, The Beloved Daughter gave me a chocolate bar she had bought in New York in the autumn. It was a Donald Trump chocolate bar. Politely, I thanked her for the gift and then put it in a drawer. Secretly, I imagined that the chocolate within would be like the esteemed president himself - bitter, sickly and liable to cause indigestion or vomiting.

Returning to the drawer a  month after Christmas, I pulled the chocolate bar out and mustered sufficient courage to unwrap it. And there in front of me was my chocolately miniature  Donald J.Trump looking as brown as Bill Cosby or Joe Frazier.

It was time to bite Trump's head off. As I masticated Trump's head I was surprised to discover that its taste was not unlike Cadbury's Dairy Milk which has been England's favourite chocolate for a hundred years. I ate almost half of Trump's body but baulked when I saw that his nether regions were next. No there's no way I will be tucking into that section!

Online I have searched for Theresa May chocolate bars. I mean, if American can produce Donald Trump chocolate products then surely we can do the same for our esteemed prime minister but all I could find was Theresa May silverskin pickled onions and Theresa May bitter lemon throat lozenges. Needless to say, they have not been selling well.

19 comments:

  1. Haha. In e urban terms doesn't "I'm going to eat your face" mean, "I love you" ? :)
    Greetings Maria x

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    1. Perhaps in America they use that expression but here in northern England we say, "You're all right I suppose".

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  2. I can't believe you are forgoing the nether region! He is irresistible with the best nether region

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    1. Give me your address and I shall post Trump's groin area to you Kylie. You will be able to munch on it while watching "Home and Away".

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  3. Having caught up with your last few posts I thought your post Recognition was particularly pertinent and telling of our today's society. I never use my proper signature on those electronic acknowledgements I just use my initial that I used for initialling legal documents it's much easier. As for Trump chocolate I'm afraid I'd have been loathe even to open it.

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    1. I guess you have had to deal with many legal documents as your behaviour and verbal outbursts will have attracted numerous libel actions.

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  4. You should have saved that candy bar and sold it on eBay in 10 or 20 years -- assuming society survives that long.

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    Replies
    1. Drat! You are right...but it's too late now. I have eaten Trump.

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  5. What a clever gift from your daughter - she knew just what to choose :)

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    Replies
    1. It really made my Christmas Day.

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  6. Am I the only one who thinks that Trump is okay?
    Briony
    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No. There are others Briony. You are not alone.

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    2. They ain't here, though

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    3. They're in Alabama and Arkansas and Kentucky and there may be one in Goring-by-Sea.

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    4. Yup, just as I suspected. Briony is not an American.

      He's not okay. Not by a long shot.

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    5. Briony is a lovely lady but I think she may need to return to Specsavers.

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  7. I would have melted that chocolate bar down over a slow fire.

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    Replies
    1. Do I take it you are not a fan of DJT then Catalyst?

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  8. Donald Trump's net weight 1.75oz? I think his doctors are fibbing again!

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