31 January 2009

Never

Things I have never done...
I have never watched a "Star Wars" film nor any James Bond film.
I have never voted for any political party except Labour.
I have never mastered that loud wolf whistle - the one where you insert digits beneath your curled up tongue.
I have never been inside a mosque.
I have never seen an episode of "Neighbours" or "Home and Away".
I have never dropped a piece of a litter that I didn't pick up myself - even on a windy day.
I have never tried cocaine or heroin.
I have never owned a dog.
I have never baked a loaf of bread - except one of those you make in a new-fangled "breadmaker".
I have never met anyone from Chile, Albania or Mozambique.
I have never read anything that was written by Jackie Collins.
I have never listened to an album by Michael Jackson, Take That or Britney Spears.
I have never had a day off work for sickness.
I have never been skiing nor have I had any desire to go skiing or snowboarding.
I have never been to see a live horse racing meet.
I have never visited Australia or New Zealand.
I have never been swimming with dolphins - nor would I ever wish to do this.
I have never eaten truffles, sushi or ostrich meat.
I have never been to Cardiff, Ipswich, Sunderland or Wolverhampton.
I have never had a proper massage.
I have never learnt how to use a slide rule.
I have never suffered a house burglary.
I have never believed in God.
I have never had any kind of tattoo or piercing, nor have I ever worn any jewellery apart from a wristwatch - if that counts as jewellery.

So that's it - lots of things I have never done. What surprising or everyday things have you never done? Please leave in the comments...

11 comments:

  1. Yo ay never bin ter the jewel in the Black Country? Yo day know what yo'm missin'

    Not much, as it happens. How about we meet for a pint next time Hull are at Molineux?

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  2. Hmmm. That's tricky. Everyday things...
    I've never opened a bottle of beer with my teeth, garffitti'ed anything, or knowingly misunderstood something someone said without asking for clarification.
    I've never built a house (but I'd like to, or maybe just an en-suite), and I've never worn a hat to a wedding, but I'm going to on the 4th April. (It's a 'Mad Hatter's Tea Party!)
    And I've never passed by someone being mean to a little child without wanting to take the child away from them and raise it myself.

    That'll do for now. Great post, YP. Got me thinking.

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  3. After your last comment on my blog, YP, your next one may have to scrub that one about never having had a day of work for sickness - I'm sending the heavy mob round!

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  4. This takes thinking~
    I have never been diving
    I have never sailed - I get seasick
    I have never drunk spirits
    I have never had a one night stand
    I have never stopped loving my children even when I have at times not liked them
    I have never learned Mandarin
    I have never stopped counting my blessings

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  5. Hello Pudding - I found you on some old Grump's page and thought I'd pay you a visit.

    I too have never mastered the slide rule - but I think I have done one or two from your list of the more 'naughty' ones (dropping litter without picking it up etc.)

    I'm making some kind of appeal over at Bodge's Bulletin and, as an English teacher, you might be able to help!?

    Gary

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  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. jeez, what DO you do then?

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  8. Am very impressed that you have never had a day off sick.

    How you managed ot live through the early 80's and avoid Thriller I really can't imagine!

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  9. I've never been to Florida or any other Disney theme park.

    I've never ridden in a limo.

    I've never wallpapered anything.

    I've never been on television.

    I've never chopped wood or changed a tire.

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  10. I must be the anti-goddess of clarity as I have done all the things she listed.

    ReplyDelete

Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.