27 July 2011


I spotted this sign near the doorway of the Choeung Ek Genocidal Centre Museum in the southern suburbs of Phnom Penh. Of course I had no intention of smoking as I find that filthy habit most distasteful. No trendy baseball caps - so good - I could still wear my knotted white handkerchief! No cameras - bah! Why do some museums ban photography? But I could live with that. No mobile phones! - Good! I don't own one and to me they are one of modern life's biggest irritants. No shoes! - No problem - I was wearing sandals!

Then in the bottom left hand corner I see that handguns and hand grenades are also banned. Phew! What a relief! It meant I didn't have to leave my Browning Automatic Rifle at the door. I mean - those things can be dangerous - what would have happened if a child had got hold of the thing? For some reason the museum cleared of visitors as I entered and I was able to view the ghastly exhibits in unhindered peace.

The sign has inspired me to design a similar one that I shall affix to the wall near our front door. These are the things that are banned - cigarettes, dogs, people with body odour, double glazing salesmen, junk mail, woodlice, Conservatives and LibDems, "The Sun", Norwegian mass murderers, dark chocolate and women with verbal diarrhoea. What will you put on the sign near your front door?


  1. We puzzled for ages over a symbol on a sign in SA. It showed a man and a woman who had apparently fallen out as they were standing back to back with a wall between them. It turned out this was the sign for the toilets.

    But as for my 'prohibited' sign, it would include mobile phones, chuggers and Jovial Witlesses, cats, anyone wearing overpowering perfume, Rebekah Brooks (and anyone else who can't spell their name), lettuce and all Jeffrey Archer novels.

  2. I shall have to think on this for a while.

  3. my sign

    a farting bum with a red line through it

  4. What have you got against woodlice!? What have they ever done to warrant such discrimination? I shall l be taking this up with the SPCW.


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