Arrf! Arrf! My name's Bodger. Today I went for a nice country walk with my owner Sally. We often venture out on the paths west of Sheffield. Recently it has been quite wet and muddy out there but I don't mind. After all, I don't wear clothes. My shaggy dog coat keeps me nice and warm and if I get too muddy Sally or Bob will give me a nice warm bath and allow me to dry by the fire.
When we are out walking, I cover twice as much ground as Sally. I like to run in the woods. Sometimes I chase rabbits or sniff the backsides of other dogs. I sniffed Polly the Labrador again today. Lovely, ripe aroma but she always plays hard to get. I never have much luck with those pedigree bitches and Sally's always yelping, "Bodger! Bodger! Come here!"
To burn off energy, I like to find sticks. When I was a puppy, Sally or Bob would throw me pathetic little sticks and I'd retrieve them. It was a bit boring really. Nowadays, when I am in the woods, I like to find the biggest bloody branch I can carry. You have to get it balanced and clamp down hard with your teeth. I like to imagine it's the postman's leg.
You can see Sally in the top picture - trailing along behind me as usual. In the little car park off Lodge Moor Lane, a fearsome old bloke in a Hull City shirt was taking off his walking boots as I trotted along. He snapped me once and then damn me - he snapped me again as I trotted back. If I hadn't been carrying my log I'd have barked like hell. Arff! Arrf!