14 April 2014

Wembley

Hull City 5 Sheffield United 3 (FA Cup Semi-Final)
We beat them fair and square. We beat them good and proper. Our goals were all beautiful - like living works of art. And the artists were Tom Huddlestone, Yannick Sagbo, Matty Fryatt, David Meyler and Stephen Quinn. At half-time I didn't feel too wholesome, too gigantic, rather queasy. Oh no - at half-time I felt like a Monster Raving Loony Party candidate waiting for the results to be announced after a by-election. Doggy doo-doo time.
Statue of Bobby Moore at Wembley
But at half-time in the dressing room, unbeknownst to me, our Captain Fantastic central defender Mr Curtis Davies was giving the other lads a right dressing down. Many expletives were expleted. Far more than the pathetic Oscar Pistorius yelled at his imagined burglar millady. Like a real leader, Curtis told the others they had played like fairies in the first half - making underdogs Sheffield United look good. It was time to get some fire in their bellies. Time to fight for the cause and for the massed Tigers fans weeping on the terraces of our national football stadium.
Ian and Shirley at Wembley
And in the second half they came roaring back like a cyclone in Queensland, like a tornado in Canton GA and those beautiful goals rained in. I thought of Spitfires, of the Guns of Navarone of a herd of gnus thundering to an African river, of Passchendaele. The Sheffield United defence lay ragged and bleeding, moaning for assistance but we murdered them. They say that football is a game of two halves and never was this saying more true. "WE ARE ULL, WE ARE ULL, WE ARE ULL!" And we sang it to the Wembley rafters on that beautiful Sunday afternoon - bathed in spring sunshine.
Yes my friends, I was there with Shirley and Ian and Chris. We witnessed every moment. Forgive us our trespasses for thine is the kingdom. And at the end of the match, when the battle was won and the smoke was clearing, the Wembley authorities played our club's anthem over the speakers:-

Wise men say only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you

Hull City have existed since 1904 but this is the very first time we have made it to an FA Cup Final. And who stands in our way? Nobody but The Mighty Arsenal - that footballing beast from North London. Those nancy boys with their cultured, grumpy, elegant economist of a French manager, those fall over and cry mummy players with their shiny Porsches and their yellow Lamborghinis. Oo - don't tackle me I'm posh! Do they really think they can defeat the Tiger Army? We are the Tamil Tigers, Siberian Tigers, tigers stalking prey in the night forest. We will go into that May game with the belief  that we have a chance, a real chance to go the distance. We shall not be the also-rans. We are Ull! Steve Bruce's Barmy Army! Up The Tigers!

11 comments:

  1. I wish I could raise a tenth of your enthusiasm for football.
    Understanding a little of the above it seems congratulations are in order,
    Well done.

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    1. What you need Adrian is a Hull City sticker for your camper van. Check out the merchandise section of the Hull City website or send me a tenner and I'll get you one. I accept you luke warm congratulations.

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  2. I'm with Adrian, without the wishing! However, when I happened to hear that result on the radio, I thought of you and how happy you would be, YP, so congratulations and enjoy the moment. :)

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    1. Would you like a Hull City T shirt Jenny or a lady's vest or maybe a black and amber jester's hat? Let me know when your birthday is and I'll send you one. You'll just have to remind me of your chest or hat size!

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    2. No, it's OK, YP. I don't 'do' birthdays any more! :)

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  3. Wooohoooo!! Well done! I don't like football at all but I really like the down-to-earthiness of the Hull fans. There's never any trouble at Hull games and it's a real family occasion. In Glasgow we always had the religious thing with Celtic and Rangers and it did my head in.

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    1. Never any at Sheffield United games either. Sheffield United used to have one side of the ground just for folk with children, Great it was, if they escaped I could go and collect them from the stewards. They popped them in a little enclosure near the front and called out their names after the match. No chance of them staying in a seat at the back. I used to sit and read a book.

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    2. MOLLY - I wonder which Glaswegian tribe your family belong/belonged to? I don't know why but your wit suggests a green and white heritage.
      ADRIAN - Ever heard of the BBC? The Blades Business Crew. Rather nasty testosterone-fuelled young men who cared more for a scrap than the beautiful game. Though the majority of Blades fans are decent fans,they do have hooligan yobs in their midst. However, your reflection was a nice one - it took me back in time to the innocent early sixties.

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  4. Ha ha..you are psychic Mr P, although I don't do religion or football. My sister had a Saturday job in the Rangers shop at Ibrox and my grandad nearly had a coronary when he found out.

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  5. Well done the Tigers! Stroke of luck you getting a Sheffield team in the semis!
    Anyway, hope you didn't celebrate with Budweiser (your last photo), but with a Beer.

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    1. Two beers actually Brian. Talk about bragging rights in the local pub! They're spitting feathers since The Blades were blunted!

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