2 May 2016

Aphorisms

For several years, many British dog lovers have had yellow stickers in the back windows of their cars that read "A Dog is For Life... Not Just For Christmas". It is a slogan that has the appearance of a wise aphorism even though I have never met anybody who ever gave or received a dog at Christmastime. I guess the sticker is urging dog owners to display a lasting sense of responsibility towards their yelping pooches which is fair enough but why bring Christmas into the equation?

The wording has rattled around in my head for quite a while even though I have never owned a dog or have ever felt a desire to get one. Finally, I could not stop myself from playing around with the format of that car sticker slogan to produce a poetic, sometimes amusing and slightly provocative response to it. Here we go:-

Aphorisms

A dog is for life... not just for Christmas
A turkey is for Christmas... not for life
A cat is for stroking... not just for chasing mice
A bird is for whistling... not just for shooting down
A hand is for shaking... not just for wiping
A bedroom is for dreaming... not just for sleep
A heart is for pumping blood... not just for love
A queen is for waving... not just for postage stamps
A planet is for preserving... not just for exploitation
A life is for living... not just for bitterness and pain
A kennel is for dogs to shelter from the rain
A dog is for walking... not just for burying bones
A Christmas is for turkey and coloured lights in homes.

Could you suggest any extra lines to add to my odd car sticker poem?

20 comments:

  1. I gave my friends (who later became my in-laws; my ex, Randall's parents) a kitten for Christmas one year. The loved that cat and he remained in their lives for many years.

    Christmas is for Licorice Allsorts...not just for turkeys, you turkeys!

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  2. A kennel is not only for dogs....so watch out!

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    Replies
    1. A cook is for chopping up... not just for roasting.

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    2. Hahahahahaha!

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  3. A blog is for reading... not just for writing!
    (In case the message is not clear: Bloggers should always keep in mind their readers, unless they really want to blog entirely for their own amusement, which is just as well.)

    I despair of people being so daft as to buying a certain type of dog only because it is the "star" of a current TV series, or because some celebrity or other has one like that.
    Take German shepherds - when the series "Kommissar Rex" was on telly, lots of people wanted the type of dog that was so cleverly solving crimes on telly, not thinking of the long term consequences of owning such a big dog, and one that wants and needs to WORK and is not a plaything (and certainly won't start solving crimes on his own).
    My pet peeve are the families with small children who get a Jack Russell terrier because they are "so cute" and "just the right size" - well, they may be both, but they are also terriers, essentially bred to be aggressive and VERY full of energy - the opposite of what a family with small children needs.

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    Replies
    1. A librarian is for saying "Shhhhh!"... not just for re-shelving books.

      I am not a dog lover but a lovely wire-haired Jack Russell used to come in our local pub and he had such character. Whenever he saw me, he would roll on his back and "ask" me to rub his belly. However, I am well aware that Jack Russels can be evil little devils.

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  4. I thought an aphorism was a West Indian haircut. I must be a bit thick, special needs or anorexic.

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    Replies
    1. Adrian do people from Gujarat really have different haircuts from people in Assam?

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    2. Graham I have no idea but I was talking about the West Indies not the east and west East Indias.

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    3. Good morning young fellas! Don't mind me, just have your own private conversation. But I see what you were doing with "West Indies" Graham. Clever.

      A knee is for kneeling... not just for knees ups.
      A westie is for rolling in mud... not just for chasing squirrels.

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    4. Mrs Brown's knees were always up...but I won't say why!

      (You started this Yorkie...so stop shaking your head at me)!

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    5. It's not my head, it's my fist Lee!

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  5. The reason why they have brought Christmas into it is because people give cute puppies for Christmas and then dump them after Christmas or when they are no longer cute. Check the stats with your RSPCA.

    Speaking of cute .. Did you catch the Australian birds on my last blog post? Perhaps something you have never heard.

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    Replies
    1. I went over and listened to the rainbow lorikeets. What a din!
      re Xmas dogs...
      Three pets are being abandoned every hour during the Christmas period, according to figures released by the RSPCA yesterday.

      The animal charity has investigated 329 complaints of abandonment between 23 and 27 December, and has dealt with 1,676 complaints since the beginning of December. Branches of the charity have been inundated with cats and dogs, in particular Staffordshire bull terriers and Staffie crosses.

      So it seems that the dogs are not even for Christmas!

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    2. It's sad that people buy these cute little puppies, and then abandon them when they grow bigger. I'm surprised that these days, people don't do the same with their children - or do they?
      Can I get away with "A chocolate bunny is for eating, not just for keeping in the fridge" ??? Sorry - I know it doesn't rhyme.....

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    3. Woe! You have reminded me of poor Clint - still incarcerated in a humming Australian fridge with a lump of mouldy cheese and a carton of apricot yoghurt that is way past its use by date. Poor Clint!

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  6. I have never seen such a sign here, but I have seen warnings in magazine articles to think twice about giving children baby chicks, ducklings, or bunny rabbits at Easter because the children soon lose interest and the pets continue to grow, need food, and so forth.

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    Replies
    1. So forth? Don't you mean "sow forth" as in breed and multiply?

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  7. An aphorism is for car stickers, not just for blogger?

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    Replies
    1. Hahahaha!
      A parrot is for plucking...not just for squawking.

      Delete

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