People often look up into bejewelled night-time skies and whisper, "Surely, we cannot be alone in this vast universe. There must be others out there. Somewhere..."
And science fiction is awash with tales of space aliens and UFOs and what the US government might be hiding from us in Area 51 in the state of Nevada..
Well, my friends, I am now in possession of incontrovertible proof that space aliens do indeed exist and what is more they have been reading this blog!
As I have said before, I will occasionally check out background statistics for "Yorkshire Pudding" compiled by those friendly folk at Blogger HQ. I can see where this blog's visitors hail from. Last month this is what I found at the bottom of my viewing chart:-
154 visits from France, 149 from Vietnam and there at the bottom - spookiest of all - 144 visits from something conveniently labelled "Unknown Region". That means outer space! What else could it possibly mean? The aliens are tuning in here and so I have a special message for them...
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Dear Friends from The Unknown Region,
I am speaking to you on behalf of all Earthlings in a spirit of friendship and intergalactic understanding. Thank you so much for visiting this humble earthly blog.
Ours is a lovely green planet with sparkling blue oceans. We have mountains and deserts and great forests. We share this wonderful place with a myriad of marvellous creatures from tiny microbes, krill and spiders to blue whales and elephants. Unfortunately, in spite of our progress, the human race seems to be spiralling out of control. The rich still get richer and the poor still get poorer.
We are doing our level best to spoil or destroy what we have got. There are far, far too many of us. The population of Earth in 1018 was 300 million. Now a thousand years later it is well over seven billion! I am sure you will understand that this huge increase has had a massive impact upon the state of our planet. It is clear that we are losing our grip on things while our narcissistic leaders lack guts or wisdom or both.
If you decide to visit us here, please do not come with animosity or an urge to conquer. Come with goodwill and intelligence and help us to make this world a better place. Show us how we can heal the wounds that we have made and guide us so that we can truly learn the errors of our ways to make a better world for all who might follow us.
Peace and Love,
Yorkshire Pudding
Of course, I had to go and check my blog's stats immediately. It is interesting to see that Alien readers have probably discovered my blog only recently. My all-time stats do not even show "unknown regions", but viewings from there increase in the monthly and weekly report and are placed rather high up, on 4th place. No Alien visit yet today, so maybe they have lost interest already. So many blogs, so little time...
ReplyDeletePerhaps they have already gathered all the information they need ahead of their planned invasion of Ludwigsburg.
DeleteI'm sure I see a few aliens among the crowd every time I go out!!
ReplyDeleteSome sure do look like aliens, anyway! ET left some progeny behind, I think.
You mean...they are here already?!!!!
DeleteI would ask our alien overlords to please take control of our dear Earth out of our hands, and please put tigers in charge. Man-eating tigers. That should take care of the planet's humanity curse.
ReplyDeleteI have heard of "Planet of The Apes" but not "Planet of The Tigers". I would like that as my football club is nicknamed The Tigers.
Delete'Unknown regions' need not mean aliens from outer space. It might mean (at the risk of sounding racist) Darkest Africa or The Amazon Rain Forest or other places where there are not cell phone relay towers every couple of miles, like Siberia or Lancashire.
ReplyDeleteNext you'll be telling us you took that photograph too.
Excuse me RWP please stop maligning Lancashire just to curry favour with YP.
DeleteNo. Go ahead Mr RWP! Malign Lancashire as much as you like. If I had a choice between the two it would be Siberia every time. By the way, the alien picture at the top of this post was a mock-up. I used plasticine for the heads and bodies and sunflower seeds for the eyes.
DeleteNow that I know it was your photo of the aliens and how you created it I am even more impressed.
DeleteHmmm...
ReplyDeleteAnything is possible. I suppose.
My husband and I actually saw what we are certain was an alien/human person in the Yucatan peninsula area. We will never forget that.
Seeing is believing.
DeleteIt seems that you are making a plea for help from the aliens. Yes, we need help very badly. Too bad there aren't aliens who could help us .
ReplyDeleteI guess you could soon use the help of a couple of aliens for snow clearing.
DeleteCarl Sagan, eat your heart out!
ReplyDeleteCarl Sagan is dead. I am not dead.
DeleteI appreciate your post and the message and agree with it and think it's a witty response. I assume, though, that the Unknown Region refers to people using PIA. That in itself can be even more scary if one asks 'Why?".
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell is PIA Mr Edwards? You have lost me.
DeletePrivate Internet Access through a private server which hides your identity and where you are from and provided through a VPN (Virtual Private Network). Quite a lot of 'ordinary' people use such services just to remain anonymous to the likes of Google etc but so do lots of naughty people for more nefarious reasons including spamming.
DeleteYou seem to know a lot about it! Perhaps you are "naughty" too!
DeleteYou're assuming aliens speak English, whereas, as we know from Brexit, aliens are non-British and to be kept out of Britain!
ReplyDeleteI am guilty of making many assumptions ADDY.
DeleteOh how I hope they read and understand your message and help us!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a teenager I lived in a town that had some extensive "UFO" activity one night with many flyovers with the crafts (all we could see were lights) moving in a manner that our aircraft is unable to move. The whole town was out watching and it was broadcast on the radio but not surprisingly it was quickly hushed up by the authorities the next day. All very strange!
Perhaps they took a look and immediately decided to search elsewhere in the endless universe.
DeleteI've just checked, the aliens haven't found me yet.
ReplyDeleteThe aliens won't be bothered with Lincolnshire. There's nothing there for them apart from carrots.
DeleteNow wouldn't that be nice, someone with sense to put the world to rights.
ReplyDeleteGreat post
Briony
x
Thank you Chardonnay, I mean Briony (!). I wonder if an alien can be a "someone"?
DeleteDon't believe anything on your stats I have 7000 page views in one hour apparantly one night
ReplyDeleteWith your blog I can believe that John!
Delete