28 February 2020

Cults

Something quite sinister is going on. In the past few years, I have become increasingly aware of a secret cult to which many thousands now subscribe. Well, I suppose it is not entirely secret as the adherents boldly advertise their allegiance on  items of clothing. Perhaps that is in the rules.

You may have spotted some of these brainwashed people yourself. Somewhere about their persons they will display the legend "The North Face". 

At first I would naively ask them, "Where is The North Face?" but they would sneer or smirk at me, zealously guarding the secret of "The North Face".

I have heard that they gather in large public halls, all bearing their "The North Face" logos, looking up at stages where hazy images of "The North Face" appear with transcendental music and a deep, echoey voice says "Pray bow my people. Pay homage to The North Face. The only place where true happiness reigns."

And as "The North Facers" troop from the hall, they swipe their contactless bankcards over beeping terminals that harvest their spare incomes like barley in late summer.

Perhaps no one knows where "The North Face" is. Probably - like Shangri-La or Eldorado - it is to be found on the edge of things - in the netherworld, just beyond our reach.

I am considering leading a counter-culture called "The South Face". We will drink foaming pints of Tetley's bitter and devour pork pies as we march there - all the way to "The South Face". So near but yet so far. Will you join me?

22 comments:

  1. Oh dear, YP. I think all good Yorkshire men and women would want to be seen on the North face not the South face. The former is for the toughies and the latter for the wimps. Mind you on Everest it's all relative.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Up there on The Isle of Lewis you are laughing on "The Other Side of Your Face".

      Delete
  2. "The first rule of The North Face Club: don't talk about The North Face Club." ha ha

    You'd think The North Face Club would be made up of elite athletes but I agree with you - most of them seem to be shoppers rather than climbers. I'll join The South Club especially if there are pastries involved.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you want pastries you had better join The Fat Face.

      Delete
  3. The South Face sounds better than the North Face but I don't know if I'm ready to leave the East Face.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Some North Facers are even around here, but in my area, the disciples of Jack Wolfskin seem to prevail. I see loads of them on the train to work. Maybe they all work at the same place, making money for their great leader.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wonder if their leader actually wears a wolf's skin.

      Delete
  5. Some of the comments you make suggest Bare Face might be more appropriate.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I blame in on the hikers. They seem to be wearing their uniforms. Bill Bailey says it's the joggers we should worry about. They find all the bodies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Northsider" could easily be a brand name for rugged outdoor wear - or for beige cardigans and plastic macs as worn by Lidl shoppers.

      Delete
    2. Yes Northsider rugged outdoor wear. What about Yorkshire Pudding kitchen clothes? Is beige fawn? I am Male and cant do colours or multitask except for flicking the TV remote and supping a pint at the same time.

      Delete
    3. Yorkshire Pudding could be a range of women's underwear that I would have to approve personally. I am okay at mono-tasking.

      Delete
  7. I'd never heard of The North Face, so had to google. I landed on a page telling me (in Swedish) that ironically, it all started on a beach in San Fransisco. The North beach. If you march down to the south coast of Spain, you'll be roughly on the same latitude, I think...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PS. Silly me. Just as I had posted this, I was hit by a "second thought", opened my wardrobe to check - and found myself branded. (A rain jacket.) Just goes to prove how easy it is for the innocent to get drawn into these cults!

      Delete
    2. So you are "one of them" Dawn Treader! I hope you have not infected my laptop with The North Face Virus. They say it is far more deadly than coronavirus.

      Delete
    3. When you put it like that, I suppose it does not help much if I swear that I did not know what I was doing...!

      Delete
  8. I think these people are 'Logo Lovers' I have them in my family.
    Personally I couldn't care a less about logo's but my Daughter and Grandson seem to think that they add something to the clothes.
    I have told them they are being taken for a ride but they take no notice.
    The only time I wear clothes with logo's on is when they give me the cast off's. lol
    Briony
    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Cast Offs" is my favourite designer brand. In fact my man bag is a "Cast Offs".

      Delete
  9. I don't know why the frequency of this brand on the street has become higher in recent years! !!custom animal print swimsuit

    ReplyDelete
  10. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.

Most Visits