Remember my old chum Bert? He has been in hospital for three weeks now. I went to see him again this very afternoon.
He's quite confused and hardly thriving in the hospital environment. He doesn't seem to know what day it is and as for his treatment or any future plans, it is hardly worth asking him. You would get more sense out of a bowl of fruit.
With regard to his hip fracture he has been standing up and has made some steps with the aid of a walking frame and a physiotherapist. In addition to this issue, he has had a pacemaker fitted because, as I understand it, he may have collapsed in his kitchen because of an irregular heart rhythm.
Will Bert ever get back to his terraced house ten minutes down the road from me? There's a steep staircase and of course his bedroom and sole bathroom are both up those stairs. I understand that the hospital might put him in a residential home temporarily so that he can improve his mobility but I fear that he is on a downward slope and may never get back to independent living.
Not so long ago he was a sharp, well-built little fellow with his wits about him. Now he is looking frail and thin. He's also very forgetful. The rapidity of the decline has been astonishing. I am in contact with both his ex-wife and his youngest son now.
Today I took him a packet of McVities dark chocolate digestive biscuits, a can of Pepsi Cola, a carton of rice pudding and a colouring book for adults. I was going to say an adult colouring book but that might have suggested X-rated images. I also took him some pencil crayons but I very much doubt that he will tackle even one of those pictures.
At English hospitals, visitors have to pay to park their cars. I had to pay £2.80 for four hours even though I knew I would only be visiting Bert for around an hour. In the car park I saw a young driver heading for the pay machine...
ME Are you going to buy a parking ticket?
HIM Yes I am.
ME You can have my ticket if you like. It's got three hours left on it.
HIM (Pause) No you are all right buddy, I'll get my own.
ME Suit yourself then if you prefer to waste your money.
Perhaps I should also have said, "And don't call me buddy!" I hate being addressed that way. Like "mate" and "bro", the term "buddy" has crept into modern English usage in the last decade. Somebody who uses it doesn't really deserve a free parking ticket in my opinion. The young man may also be suspicious of acts of kindness from strangers. Stranger danger and all that.
Unfortunately, this story of dramatic decline in individuals following a fall, even without the associated fracture is only too common, I have seen it a couple of times with my uncles going from fit, alert and mobile to frail and dependent following a fall and hip fracture. I'm sure that the hospital environment doesn't help, but I have no idea how to improve that.
ReplyDeleteOn the subject of parking tickets, our local councils have issued their parking wardens with digital cameras and they take pictures of the cars and displayed tickets to deliberately catch that kind of sharing, and a neighbour council forces you to enter the car registration and prints it on the ticket, again to forestall this passing on of tickets.
If I pay for four hours they are mine and I want to give some of them to somebody else then that's up to me.
DeletePoor Bert, a broken hip and now a pacemaker, something to make his heart keep going, even when he's ready to die.
ReplyDeleteIn western health services the idea of Nature taking its course seems to be outrageous.
DeleteI worked on an end stage dementia unit and people died naturally. They kept eating and drinking, even if they were aspirating. The patients developed pneumonia and slipped away as people have been doing forever. If you can't eat and drink on your own, why should you be kept alive? It seems cruel.
DeleteOh you never know, Mr. P. Perhaps the guy suspected a scam or maybe he just would have felt guilt using a ticket that he didn't pay for.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about Bert. Perhaps he will surprise everyone and regain his forces and abilities to at least some degree.
Yes I hope so too but pragmatism says otherwise.
DeleteWhen my father had his disabling stroke, the nurses and aides were unanimous in their observa crazytion that regular, frequent visits by family and friends helped patients do better physically and mentally. If Bert' family is unable to visit much, it will be one more strike against him. You are doing a good thing by going to see him, Mr P. I know it's not easy but you are doing it anyway. Many people don't bother.
ReplyDeleteDarn this tablet keyboard! As my comment was publishing I could see the word 'observation' had somehow gotten turned into gobbledygook by a random drag of my fingertip!
ReplyDeleteI love the word observacrazytion. A great addition to the English dictionary Jenny.
DeleteLol
DeleteUnfortunately, the hospital environment encourages dependence. I know from my own experience how hard it is to keep active and find things to do. They bring all your food and you sit in bed or an adjacent chair and there is nothing much to do. I think a care home may be his best bet as a step to getting home, if he can avoid becoming dependent there.
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to make such transitions when you are approaching your 87th birthday.
DeleteI fear a fall at my age would do the same to me as it seems to have done to Bert. Good luck to him.
ReplyDeletePlease don't fall over Bruce! Stay upright.
DeleteBert responds to conversation even if you feel there is no point.
ReplyDeleteSomething gets through, believe me.
There are picture books with photos from old times, designed for
reading to people with memory issues.
These books stimulate lost memories and speech in those with dementia.
You don't like being addressed as Mate, Matey, Bud, Bro or Haw You Big Man.
Dude, Ducky, Lassie-Lad, Dear Boy, Sweetie, Comrade, Pal, Pally, Hey Paysan ?
Or even as my mother used to say, Feller Me Lad ?
*Monty Python - Eddie Baby.* YouTube.
P.S. How about Yorkshire Git, Mon Vieux or even My Dear Fellow ?
Old Sport, Cock o' t' North, Angel Drawers, Clootie Pudding, Big Scunner ?
DeleteUse my name or call me Sir. That's is how it always was before.
DeleteHedge Creeper, Gibface, Bedwetter, Mutton Shunter, Gundiguts,
DeleteWagtail, Unlicked Cub, Death's Head Upon A Mop Stick ?
Labour Prime Minister Harold Wilson called the Labour back bencher
*That Little Welsh Bastard*.
My Ukrainian girlfriend only ever called me Haggerty.
To repeat my earlier comment, call me by my name or call me "Sir".
DeleteSir Neil it is, squire. Cry me Hagg.
DeleteIt is difficult to watch someone quickly decline.
ReplyDelete£2.40 is cheap for four hours. We pay that much for one hour at the hospital carpark, which is not even in a big city.
At least the man didn't say,
"Eff off pop. I don't need your middle class charity".
I paid £2.80 and most visitors don't want four hours but that's the minimum. At Scottish hospitals, parking is free because of subsidies from the English.
DeleteI feel sad when I hear these stories as I remember my mother's health declining rapidly after a hospital stay for a fall.
ReplyDeleteThere seems to be a pattern.
DeleteHealth in elderly people can change very quickly. Like you I have a friend in the same situation. Mike has come back a long way but he's decided to stay in residence and sell his house.
ReplyDeleteThat could be the way Bert is going. He has lost his mojo.
DeleteSomehow I think Bert is on his way out and he'd probably be happy to go without dragging on.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you visit. Having company means a lot.
At almost 87 after a hard working life, he has had a bloody good innings.
DeleteWhat a shame to waste three hours of parking time. I know plenty of people woho would have said "thanks very much mate!" it is sad to read about Bert's decline though, without the fall he may have gone on the same happy way for many more years.
ReplyDeleteMaybe not "many" but a few years at least.
DeleteI also thought that £2.40 was a good deal, I think I paid that for an hour when I last needed to visit a hospital ( St. Albans). If you look it up, you will find that you could end up with a hefty fine for passing on your ticket.....that fella probably knew that!
ReplyDeleteSad to hear how poorly Bert is.
As far as I am aware, nobody at The Northern General has ever been fined for using a ticket that was passed on. The system is not geared up for such meanness.
DeleteThere was a fuss over parking tickets at hospitals but then it died down. If you are a constant visitor you can get a pass buddy ;) So was he American?
ReplyDeleteSo sad for Bert, we are not allowed to go to death gracefully and he must end up in a care home. There is a whole discussion there that as a country we are afraid to undertake.
Old age is often stretched by medical interventions that can sometimes appear quite cruel and unnecessary.
DeletePoor Bert, he is not in a happy place, and I share your realistic assessment of his situation. Like others have said, frequent visits and engaging conversation with familiar faces can make a huge difference, as they did for my Dad during his first hospital stays. And with Bert, at least they are making sure he gets physio therapy.
ReplyDeleteYes - but not enough of it Meike. What would be great is if a wizard could wave a magic wand so that in an instant Bert's house would be sold and he would be in a nice flat with warden support.
DeletePoor Bert, I fear that the system may dictate his future and he'll end up permanently in a care home.
ReplyDeleteIt is frightening how quickly a slight loss of memory can become an almost total confusion. It happened to my husband within a week of him falling, breaking his leg and being hospitalised, he became confused and died. A friend I mentioned recently, had a fall, then a mini stroke and was put in a care home (at 4,000 euros a month!) and rapidly became even more confused and died last month. I've noticed that once in the homes here, there is no way out. So I'm leaving orders to shoot me if I'm destined for one!
I would volunteer to assist Carol but I'd probably miss.
DeleteI remember Bert Baxter in Adrian Mole. He was a character like your pal Bert. Tell him we all wish him well and a speedy recovery.
ReplyDeleteNow that would confuse him if I told him that a lad from Lancashire who lives on The Sheep's Head Peninsula growing shasta daisies and Japanese onions and enjoys drinking barrels of Newcastle Brown Ale wishes him well!
DeleteSo sorry to hear about Bert. I had hoped his early demise would improve. Is he still on the strong painkillers, as that could still be contributing, but it sounds unlikely? My daughter tells me that, in the case of elderly people, for every day spent (bedbound) in hospital, it takes a year to get back to normal. It does now seem poor Bert may never get back to his house.
ReplyDeleteI hope he surprises me but I do not think it will happen.
DeleteI hope Bert gets better. Being in a hospital can be very surreal for older people (well, anyone, really) and it's easy to lose track of time and reality without all the normal markers of everyday life. Maybe your "buddy" needed to stay more than three hours?
ReplyDeletePossible but a normal adult would have said as much.
DeleteHospital can quickly diminish any sense of independence. Bert may also have been given medicine which dulls his responses. You are doing absolutely the best thing in visiting and trying to stimulate him. On the subject of hospital parking, you are lucky to find a space, whatever the price!
ReplyDeleteThere's plenty of parking at The Northern General - if you are prepared to walk.
DeleteI've been away from blog reading due to a flurry of summer activity and am just returning now. I was hoping there'd be news of Bert and as I opened your blog, there was his charming face. I'm sorry to hear Bert's confusion is not improving. It doesn't look promising he can safely return to his house, (yet.). Maybe a stay at a residential home is a good solution. Thank you for visiting him.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this thoughtful comment Melinda. Is summer officially over in Ontario then?
DeletePoor Bert. I hope as he heals his confusion will diminish. That is what happened with my brother when he had back surgery. We worried that dementia was developing but now he is much better. Pain killers and hospitals can really cause confusion. He may need a different home, tho, if stairs are difficult to manage... wishing him a good recovery!
ReplyDeleteI like your optimism Ellen.
Delete