In the nineteen fifties and early sixties, the necessity for mothers to supplement family incomes was not as great as it is now. Nursery schools and other childcare facilities were not as widespread nor as vital as they are today.
At the start of this week, I had to give my daughter a big hug because after a year out she was going back to work. It had suddenly hit her that it would be a huge wrench to leave Baby Margot after seven months of devotion to her care and development.
In August, Margot will spend three days a week at the local nursery school that Phoebe currently attends. Till then, Shirley and I will be looking after her for three days a week and on one day a week our son-in-law's mother will take on the responsibility.
Nursery school fees are exorbitant and many working parents have to weigh up whether or not it even pays to work. I mean, what is the point of working if nearly all of your income goes into nursery school coffers?
In this country, schooling is free from the age of four so why is it not free for children aged one to four? Parents are cogs in the labour force and small children are future workers so they are also going to be valuable to the nation's future economic well-being.
Nowadays, in their retirement, it is not uncommon for grandparents to take on unpaid childcare roles. You see the evidence all over the place in high streets, children's playgrounds and supermarkets for example. If fit and able, grandparents invariably perform this essential task very willingly as it not only helps working parents out a lot but also assists bonding with grandchildren. However, it shouldn't be the answer. Workplaces should customarily provide free childcare provision and the system we inhabit should not be taking grandparental childcare for granted.
It's ridiculous how my older daughter and husband pay for childcare. As you said, I don't know how parents can afford it, yet they also have to work, especially here for medical insurance. My younger daughter can't afford child care so I'm thinking that I'll need to help out. 2-3 days a week would be my maximum. I have my own life and responsibilities also. A tough situation.
ReplyDeleteMany grandparents do not live close to grandchildren so the option of grandparents caring for children is out.
ReplyDeleteI feel for the grandparents who care for their grandkids 5 days a week. Bonding and spending time is important but we should not have to raise this generation. We should be spoiling them and enjoying their company. There needs to be greater subsidies for childcare as women can't be out of the workforce and shouldn't have to work to pay for childcare until the kids start school. Here, they are 5 or 6 when they start. 4 is very unusual so even more years of forking out money. The government does subsidise to a degree but then, surprise surprise, the fees go up at the same time the subsidies do - usually around an election.
ReplyDeleteYou and Shirley are great parents and grandparents, but as you say, not everyone has that opportunity.
ReplyDeleteHere in Germany, parents are legally entitled to have each child in a "Kita" (Kindertagesstätte, which covers ages 0-6, and at 6 years old, children usually start elementary school). But this only works in theory - in reality, there are simply not enough such institutions, nowhere near enough staff and not enough places per Kita. Therefore, like in England, many families resort to grandparents, other relatives, neighbours and friends; paid and qualified childcare is hard to come by and not a realistic option for most.
My sister-in-law A. in Ripon is a certified child carer. She usually has between one and four children at her home every day, ranging from babies to ten-year-olds. For one little girl, A. had to take a course in order to be able to care for the girl when she has an epileptic fit. A. is wonderful around children, and the parents know it - she has a waiting list as long as her arm. With other child carers in and around Ripon, she has established a network; they help each other out in an emergency, when they can't take the children out, and arrange meetings with their small groups in the park or elsewhere. If I was a parent and had to work to make ends meet and could not rely on my own parents, I'd love for someone like A. to look after my child. But this can not be the solution for everyone.
I remember being a stay-at-home mum until my youngest began school then I went back to work as hubby insisted we needed extra income to buy the house and land package. So childcare wasn't needed. With grandchildren, I lived too far away and the first grandchildren spent their days with their other grandparents who were and are very fine people. And of course I was still working myself in those days. now I am retired the only grandchildren young enough to need care are the twins and ther mother doesn't work, so again childcare is not needed and I live too far away to be there often.
ReplyDeleteIt does seem crazy that childcare costs are so high, but then I suppose they have a responsible role to play - we see that when a child manages to escape or is placed face- down and suffocates as happened recently. I am not there yet looking after granchildren but by rhe time I am, I'll be pushing a pram AND a zimmer frame.
ReplyDeleteI have our two little ones often, not all day, just a few hours and we love them to bits, but it's very tiring with an almost 3 and almost 4 year olds. Even with the free hours from the government, that does not cover the full cost of childcare.
ReplyDeleteThe cost of living doesn't help young families with high rents and exorbitant house prices. Even the price of a pint of beer. It's 5.70 for a pint of lager over here in Ireland.
ReplyDeleteChildcare is similar here. Women have to weigh up, (why is it women?) whether working comes close to be financially worth while. You mention your mother and your daughter, but what about you and Mrs YP? How did you manage with young children?
ReplyDeleteMonetise everything. Maximise profits. Get rich. Donate £15m to help keep things the same.
ReplyDeleteI used to pick up my grandson from nursery as it was located just beside my place of work, I loved the chats we would have on the way home. My husband had him one afternoon a week after he retired and still talks about the great times they would have and they still have a strong bond. Luckily we live only 5 minutes from our son's family so we are fortunate to see them a lot.
ReplyDeleteChildcare is not paid for because that is "woman's work" which is done for free. While we all praise mothers and the sacrifices they make, that never seems to result in any money. Sacrifice and love don't pay the bills but oh well. Grandparents can step in- if they are fortunate enough to be retired and have the time and if they are healthy enough to keep up with the children. Mothers (or fathers!) who stay home with their children should be paid. And what about grandparents?
ReplyDeleteI have pondered how much of this is self inflicted, not insinuating your kids did this to themselves, but in general? I can't help but think we have brought some of this on ourselves as we are more of a consumer society than ever. Our ancestors didn't have a tenth of the possessions (and thus expenses) that we now consider necessary to live in today's world. We also move vast distances from home leaving our support structures behind. I reckon a lot of the latter is forced upon us by changing workplace globalization so can't be blamed on ourselves fully.
ReplyDeleteRegardless, it is sad that anyone has to struggle to raise a family these days. I know we struggled with it at times. We definitely had to consume less than our peers for a number of years. I feel a bit fortunate that my children are old enough now to largely look after themselves but I hope they will have a better go at it when they start having kids.
When I was about 8, my mother went back to work outside the home. We had a crop failure and her income put groceries on the table. She loved it, she hated being stuck at home without adults around to talk with. She worked after my father retired.
ReplyDeleteYou are lucky to live near enough to help out with childcare. I have 2 grandchildren near now and I just love being able to help out. 5 of my grandchildren live too far away and so I don't get to see them much at all. We keep in contact through SnapChat or texting but it's not the same. Better than nothing, tho. ;)
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. Good and inexpensive childcare for younger children should be a given. Since I've retired, I do notice a lot of what I assume grandparents in parks and about with children. Your daughter is so lucky to have you and Shirley. It must have been very hard for her to go back to work.
ReplyDeleteI stayed at home with my children until my youngest was in 3rd grade. My kids went to preschool for 2 1/2 hours, 3 days a week, starting at age 3, and back then that was quite an expense. All day daycare expenses for my grandchildren are so expensive. It's almost as much as college tuition at a state university. There isn't enough subsidized daycare for those who need income assistance.
ReplyDeleteReading this made me realise I don't really know how it all works here now with fees etc. (Having no children or grandchildren of my own, I haven't been keeping up.) Checking up on it now I see that yes, we have fees as well, but how much seems to depend on a several different factors - like the parents' income + how many children in the family + how many hours a week etc. So I can't say how that system compares to yours. In my own childhood there were no nursery schools. My arrival interrupted my mother's career as a teacher; she became a full time housewife and never took up work outside the home again. (Just in time for me to start school, my brother was born...)
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that the first four years of a child's life should be spent in their mother's care. If she and her husband can't afford that, perhaps they should have postponed parenthood. 'Course, that's just my opinion.
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