13 June 2009


He who was lost is found again. I remember looking up at the electric clock in the ante-room. Next thing I knew, I was in the recovery room. "Errr...Is it over?" It was. They wheeled me back to my "private" room with my new best friend - a white "Bristol Maid" stand holding a bag of urine that was connected to me via a couple of metres of clear plastic piping.

I lay there all afternoon in a sort of stupor, occasionally glancing out of the window at a banking of lush foliage which no birds ever seemed to visit. Intermittently, nurses popped in to take my blood pressure and a kitchen assistant brought me a very cold egg sandwich and a cup of tea. I tried to read "Let Us Now Praise Famous Men" but the style was too idiosyncratic for my woozy mind.

It was strange being in that hospital - in a private room with your own television and en suite facilities. I didn't get to meet any other patients and hours could go by without seeing a single member of staff. A couple of times I was forced to press the nurses' call button to prevent my new best friend from bursting and to order extra jugs of water. Leaning on the window sill, scanning the banking for avian life, all that was missing was iron bars. I already had the striped pyjamas.

Seven thirty on Friday morning, the night nurse finished her shift by gently tugging the catheter out and disconnecting me from my "Bristol Maid". Good Lord! What nastiness. I grimaced like a drama queen. But this was nothing when compared with my first post-operative piss. Shards of glass and broken razor blades spring to mind.

I'm home now. Urination is becoming easier but there's still more healing to happen. I wouldn't wish such trauma on my worst enemy. Thanks to fellow bloggers for their good wishes. The Yorkshire Pudding is back!


  1. Only a fraction of what we women experience in childbirth, of course, YP! ;) Glad you are out and recovering.

  2. Welcome home YP. That was quick! (quickness being all relative, of course.) I'm glad you are all finished.

  3. Welcome back YP! Good to know that you're back home, back in Blogland and generally on t'mend.

  4. Welcome back - Thanks for the eye-watering details...

  5. Ouch...sorry about that urination thing, YP, but glad all is well and you're on the mend. Remember to drink plenty of fluids!

  6. JENNYTA Childbirth? Like shelling peas I believe. Thanks for your good wishes.
    KATHERINE It certainly is quicker now!
    MOPSA Not entirely "sorted"...there's the next process to negotiate.
    THREE LEGGED CAT t'mend? What do you mean? Only kidding. Thanks for your good wishes.
    STEVE Only a rough tough guy like you can properly empathise with my tale.
    SAM You're right about the fluids! Wife! Wife! Bring me tea, NOW!

  7. Welcome back! If you're ever at a dull dinner party, you can liven it up by telling everyone about your operation in the minutest of detail. Always good to have ammunition like that.

  8. I second the dinner party advice only to counter that it could make good fodder for your next faculty meeting. Oh yeah, you're retiring...
    Glad you are home safe.

  9. I'm glad you're recovering, YP! I'm just now catching up on blog posts, or I would have wished you well beforehand.


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