6 May 2012

Boris

Buffoon
News has just filtered through to Blogland that Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson has been re-elected as the Mayor of London. This merely confirms my view that most (voting) Londoners are numbskulls. I mean, how could they possibly elect a privileged oaf like Boris Johnson - whose trains of thought on just about any subject zigzag madly like random patterns on an "Etch-a-Sketch" screen? The guy is, as my old nana might have said, three sandwiches short of a picnic.

Fortunately, canny Sheffielders rejected the very idea of an elected mayor in Thursday's local government elections in which the pompous out-of-touch Tories were given a sound thrashing. I believe that mophead Johnson would also have been sent packing if it were not for the fact that his main mayoral opponent was the salamander-like and self-important Ken Livingstone. Livingstone put himself before his party and is to blame for Johnson being granted another four years of wanton buffoonery.

American born "Boris" is prone to gaffes and indiscretions. As a ham-fisted journalist he was happy to make stuff up and elaborate articles with falsified quotations. He has also ignorantly slighted entire countries, cities and races of people. Speaking of quotations - here are just a few from the mad world of Toryboy "Boris":-

This is what he once said about the proud southern naval city of Portsmouth:-
“Here we are in one of the most depressed towns in southern England, a place that is arguably too full of drugs, obesity, underachievement and Labour MPs.”


And this was "Boris" before the 2005 election:-
"Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3."


Here he is talking about Tory leadership struggles:-
"For 10 years we in the Tory Party have become used to Papua New Guinea-style orgies of cannibalism and chief-killing.”


And here are the stupid names of his privileged children - Lara Letiice, Cassia Peaches, Theodore Apollo and Milo Arthur. I mean, really! And yet...and yet... "Boris" is seen as a likeable eccentric in many quarters - bringing colour to the suited and dour world of politics. Be that as it may he is not welcome in Blogland. He hasn't got a cat in hell's chance of being granted an entry visa. Speaking of cats, as far as I am concerned, the only Boris that ever mattered to me was our lovely Boris, the real Boris who disappeared from our lives almost four years ago:-
The real Boris disappeared in June 2008

6 comments:

  1. I think the re-election of Boris shows how seriously Londoners are taking current politics - - which is not very seriously at all. I'm glad that Leeds along with many other sensible places voted against an elected Mayor.

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  2. I was just saying to myself, "Thank God the US doesn't have a monopoly on stupidity," and then you said your buffoon was actually created here. Shucks. Want a few more? We have plenty.

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  3. DAPHNE Why were they trying to foist the mayor idea on us all? And how would elected mayors relate to the priorities of councillors? It was never explained.
    JAN BLAWAT You can keep your buffoons! In fact you can have Boris Johnson back. Please could you also grant Simon Cowell permanent residence as we don't need him. Another English buffoon you can keep is Ringo Starr - that talentless Beatle currently residing in California.

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  4. We'll keep Ringo, thank you. I saw his live show a couple of years ago and it was great. Ringo didn't do much, but he seems to be good at putting together an interesting collection of musicians. He was really low key and fun. Also saw Paul's show that year. What a pro! Both of those guys know how to make an audience happy. Please send Boris to Alabama.

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  5. I've always thought he was a strange choice. Not the sort of person you expect to represent London to the world.
    We also elect our Mayor - a strange way to do it as you can end up with a hostile council ( v the mayor )and our council administers a huge area as the whole of Brisbane is under one council. It is the only time we use this system. Odd!
    cheers

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  6. I was unfamiliar with Boris, but from his photo he appears to be like any number of other American-style football centers who played the game a bit too long because they enjoyed having their nether regions groped by handsome, young quarterbacks. The quarterbacks ended up with all the cheerleaders, but the centers ended up only with jock itch and derriere rash. Boris seems to be contemplating his in the photo.

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