21 November 2013

Blogettes

Have you heard about the latest girl band who are taking the blogosphere by storm? Picked from thousands of applicants from all over the world, The Blogettes have just launched their first album with associated DVD and television appearances.

But who are they? Well let me tell you there are two from Australia, one from New Zealand, one from California and one from North Wales. Helen  is sometimes known as Cuddly Blogette. Carol's nickname is Techno Blogette, Katherine is Arty Farty Blogette, Janice (Jan) is known as Chickenwoman Blogette and Jenny is Rarebit Blogette. Together their singing voices create beautifully tuneful harmonies but there are sometimes catfights about who should take the solo parts - with fur and feathers flying in the dressing room. Usually The Chickenwoman wins - raised in the cruel streets of Sloughhouse, California she had to fight her way to the top. The other girls are slightly more genteel.

Stage outfits for the girl band have been designed by Jean-Paul Gaultier - based on the famous double cone outfit he designed for Madonna.

Managed and driven around in a white transit van by the lascivious Angolan music entrepreneur Tom "Boy" Gowans, The Blogettes spent three weeks in a secret studio to get their first album just right. It contains ten brand new original songs by a range of previously undiscovered songwriters:-

"Colorado Mountain Love" by Mama Thyme
"Bondage in Catalonia" by Brian de Hoyland
"Bulldog Love" by Johnny Earl Gray
"Love in  a Taiwanese Typhoon" by Jonjo Booth
"Leeds Leads to Love" by Frances Pudding
"Absent Love" by Daphne Franks
"Love in a Campervan (The Rumpy Pumpy Song)" by Adrian Image
"Playin' the Organ of Love" by Bob Brague
"Love on a Thai Beach" by Ian Rhodes
"Polish Love Plane" by Libby Midlands

Tom "Boy" Gowans said, "We expect the first album to go platinum. The girls are really up for it! A world tour is planned with gigs in Rhyl, Bridlington, Tauranga - New Zealand and Toowoomba - Australia. Anybody who hasn't heard of The Blogettes yet is going to know all about them in the year ahead. They are going to be big! Very big! Especially if they keep ordering takeaway pizzas and kebabs!"

24 comments:

  1. Too cold for a country walk this week YP? No silverware to polish, shoes to shine, hearths to shovel out? And what was your role in the life of the Blogettes? I hope their record sales will be keeping you in a lap of luxury in your retirement :). Can I just ask ~ Toowoomba? Hilarious!

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    1. Oh wow! A member of The Blogettes getting in touch with me! My heart rate is suddenly in top gear! I loved it when you took lead vocals on "Bulldog Love" and the chorus "It's really cool when you drool - love me like a bulldog babe!" Good luck on the world tour! See you in Rhyl!

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  2. Can't wait to see them! As there are no gigs planned my way, I'm hoping there'll be some videos posted on the official, or non-official, websites :)

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    1. Brian. I think your song "Bondage in Catalonia" is brilliant and The Blogettes do a great version of it with Jan taking the lead on the chorus "Handcuffs and rope/ There was really no hope/When she tied me to the bed/ And with a sweet smile said/ "Benvinguts a Catalunya!" "

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    2. Thanks! Glad you liked it, it's all done in the best possible taste, of course!

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  3. OMg. I'm going to get another cup of coffee and try reading this again in an hour. At least I'm not the farty one.

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    1. I loved your rendition of "Colorado Mountain Love" Jan - especially the chorus "Our love was like a fountain/ High up on the mountain/ Lookin' down upon the world/ Our mountain love unfurled/ Oo-oo-oo-ooh!"

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  4. You off your meds again YP?

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    1. You must have been off your meds Libby when you wrote "Polish Love Plane"! It's my least favourite song on the album with its banal chorus "I'd rather go to Poland/ Than listen to The Nolans/ Flying with Ryanair/ With the wind ruffling my hair/Just to be with my mister - yeah!"

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  5. How sad am I?
    I clicked on my name to see what would happen

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    1. Sorry John - I forgot to make the link - but like I said to Carol in Cairns, "Bulldog Love" is a great song. How on earth did you come up with it - "It's really cool when you drool - love me like a bulldog babe!"

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  6. A white Transit? Naff off. We're tacky, its a red V8 jeep, that we bought damn cheap

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    1. Okay sorry Cap'n. Didn'rt realise you'd upgraded your love wagon.

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  7. I'm busy practising my "boop, boop, be doop" and doing daily vocal exercises YP. I'm soooo excited! Toowoomba ?? What a great venue for a gig! That's what we in the business call a singing engagement. I'd better get my bag packed . I'm including an intravenous IV for Tom's medication !

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    1. Oh wow! I can't believe it! Another of The Blogettes has got in touch! Cuddly Blogette! Loved your solo on the first verse of "Absent Love":-
      "Once you were here but now you're gone/ Leaving me here with this simple love song/ You're absent, absent, absent - yes you're my absent love!"

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  8. Oh buggar! I meant to sign off "Cuddly " ( Rockstars are aloowwed... no expected to use cuss words !!
    Cheers
    Cuddly

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    1. You're also expected to stay out till five in the morning, drink full bottles of vodka, shoot heroin and get millions of tattoos!

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  9. Oh BUGGAR I didn't proof read !!!

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    1. Looks like you need the IV more than me!

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    2. The Holly and the IV - a bit too early for Xmas songs Cap'n!

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  10. And I'm here still stuck in the wardrobe...yes, wardrobe...not the closet!!!!

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    1. Hello again Lee. Hope I haven't upset you. Those four exclamation marks seem eerily like daggers to me. Perhaps you'd like to be PA for the girl band...but never find yourself alone with the manager. He' a cad and a bounder!

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  11. ahhhhh.....thrilled to have my name and talent in lights again, Mr. Pudding. Now that that's over, can I just go back to being "Rocky Mountain High" again? Thanks! Pass the munchies.

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    1. Keep off the dugs Mama Thyme. They're not good for your...errr...your... memory! Yes that's it! And well done for writing such a great song! "Our love was like a fountain/ High up on the mountain/ Lookin' down upon the world/ Our mountain love unfurled/ Oo-oo-oo-ooh!" is such a subtle and poetic chorus.

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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.