I am sitting on the sofa with my nasty friend Gordon Gout and we are watching "Saturday Morning Kitchen" with the Yorkshire chef/presenter James Martin. In this programme, there's always a celebrity guest - such as an actor, comedian or well-known writer. He or she gets to sample the various dishes that are prepared in the studio kitchen.
Early in the programme, the guest is asked to name his or her favourite food item and also their least favourite - "Food Heaven and Food Hell". Viewers and celebrity chefs get to vote on which of these will be used in the preparation of the last dish of the show - for the guest to sample.
So I was thinking - if I was the celebrity guest on "Saturday Morning Kitchen" - what would be my "Food Heaven and Food Hell"? What would be yours?
For "Food Heaven" I would be spoilt for nominations. There are so many food items I love - from the humble potato to mussels prised from seaside rocks and from spring lamb to brussel sprouts. My list would be almost endless. But with regard to "Food Hell", I am really scratching my head to come up with anything at all.
However, I know that if I was on the show and said that I didn't have a "food hell", James Martin would probably chuck a chopping board at my head so, playing the game, here are my choices-
FOOD HEAVEN Fillet steak
FOOD HELL Pears
Now over to you dear visitor. If you were the guest on "Saturday Morning Kitchen" what would your "heaven" and "hell" ingredients be?
A BIG PLATE FULL OF SATANS SNOW SO WE CAN MAKE YET MORE CHOICES THAT DRIVE US AWAY FROM ANY OUNCE OF HUMANITY AND AUTHENTIC SELF WE HAVE LEFT IN OUR SCREWED UP USED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT SOMEHOW WE FEEL WARRANTS US THE FREEDOM TO TAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWAY ANY SPIRITUAL BONE IN OUR BODY UNTIL ALL WE HAVE LEFT IS A BROKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletePardon? I would love what you ingest.
DeleteWho is your friend Adrian?
DeleteSome complete head banger. I don't know where you find them.
DeleteThat'll teach you to mention Hell!
DeleteI THOUGHT THAT SATAN'S SNOW WAS A HEAVY METAL BAND FROM KIDDERMINSTER.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteSomehow Kidderminster seems a most unlikely place to spawn a heavy metal band.
DeleteFood Hell is pretty easy - tripe springs to mind pretty quickly but Heaven is a lot more difficult. So much to choose from but I think at the moment it would be mango.
ReplyDeleteTripe is hard to get but honeycomb tripe with brown bits is wonderful. Any tripe or offal is good for me.
DeleteMmm I am with Helen on this one now I come to think of it. My mother always liked to visit Sheffield markets for a nice plate of wobbly tripe and onions splattered with vinegar. YUK! I cannot stand the stuff. Adrin would have got along well with my mum. They could have exchanged knitting patterns too.
DeleteI'll have you know we use Frontline so are Nit free.
DeleteFood Hell....anything with the stench of white sugar in it. Food Heaven, a nice Honeycrisp apple.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about a nice apple Jan. In some circumstances there is nothing better to eat. I often take an apple with me when rambling in the countryside.
DeleteYou pay for television? I thought I was mad playing with 3D.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you being so bashful Adrian? Come on tell us your food heaven and food hell. Don't be so coy.
DeleteHeaven, any fish but farmed salmon.
DeleteHell....most sweet things but I do like a good fruit cake or cheese cake. Pine nuts are horrid.
I am not a big dessert person either Adrian but roasted pine nuts can be great in a summer salad (in my ever so humble opinion).
DeleteScotch egg ( heaven)
ReplyDeleteJam donut ( hell)
Scotch egg? No way! Such a surprise.
DeleteThey do lovely fresh jam doughnuts at Lidl these days. Usually I am able to walk by them but occasionally I give in.
Love a hot donut rolled in cinnamon sugar, forget the yucky jam filled ones.
DeleteFood Hell is easy: anything that largely classifies as intestines. Also, I do not want my food to look at me, have tentacles or feelers.
ReplyDeleteFood Heaven: Potatoes are great, in any variety (even Vodka, as long as it is the base for a cocktail). And what can beat home baked bread, fresh from the oven?
What can beat home baked bread? How about a mallet or a sledge hammer?
DeleteI agree about eating things that look at you....especially those that have tentacles that might suction onto me ! YUK !
DeleteI'm with you. I like almost everything. I am getting fussier as I age. that's probably because of a smaller appetite.
ReplyDeleteOkay Red but we need your heaven and your hell. As you are American I am guessing heaven - hamburger and hell - green vegetables.
DeleteThat is one reader you have lost. Keith is Canadian.
DeleteOops! Please forgive me Red. I meant to say North American!
DeleteOk, I'll have to join in on the fun. It changes regularly, but for the present:
ReplyDeleteFood Heaven: baked sweet potatoes/yams, fresh pineapple, roasted brussels sprouts, tenderloin steak, blazing hot coffee with fresh goat milk to temper it, homemade bagels.
Food Hell: Cooked oatmeal, runny eggs, seafood, tea, cheap ice cream, cheap store-bought bread.....
Your "heaven" list makes my mouth water Hilly! But tea in your Hell list? Most British children are almost weaned on tea - hot with a little milk and sugar. In fact I am drinking a big mug of tea right now! Mmmmmm! (Gulp) Ahhhhhh!
DeleteOh, dear! There's not much I don't like. In particular I love fresh fruit and a day wouldn't feel right without having devoured loads of it. Food Heaven is have the availability of fresh fruit, vegetables, meats, seafood, etc., etc., et al.
ReplyDeleteFood Hell....hmmmm....not having any of the above; of the food that I love/like/enjoy. Hell would be only having access to processed foods; take-away food; foods full of preservatives.
Food Heaven is living in a country that has access to some of the best of the best of everything, I guess....and being able to have the choice/s.
I'm not much help, am I? :)
No Lee! Your clever response is a a cop out! You could have just said...
DeleteHeaven - Emu burger
Hell - Bibaj, an insect larva (grub) eaten by people in the north Queensland rainforest. Larvae such as these are found by looking for the tell-tale signs of powder at the tree or holes in the bark, and then finding the larvae under the bark. Grubs can be eaten raw or roasted.
Heaven - chips and egg and baked beans. And a cuppa. Or two.
ReplyDeleteHell - liver, or tripe.
Tha dunt lark liver Bri? Ee by gum, now wunder tha buggered off t' Tortosa wi tha fancy wumman. (Or am I talking tripe?)
DeleteFood heaven for me is winter food such as stew and dumplings. My late mother-in-law's dumplings were amazing. Also Yorkshire fish & chips. Food hell for me is anything with marzipan or an almond flavour.
ReplyDeleteA bit naughty Molly! I also love stew and dumplings and fish and chips but lots of different ingredients are required to make them. My mother in law's dumplings were very ample!
DeleteI'll eat most things if I have to but things I can't eat even to be polite are tripe (although when it's cooked in New Zealand you wouldn't actually know it was the same thing as the tripe I saw in the shops in my Lancashire childhood) and ceann cropic and Guga. Indeed now I come to think of it there are a few Lewis traditional recipes I would pass on.
ReplyDeletefresh watermelon, peaches and berries are heaven
ReplyDeleteseafood is hell