I guess that most western families face the dilemma of screen-time for little children. Should they have any screentime at all? How should it be rationed? What should they be watching? Does screen-time cause any harm?
Phoebe has two little cousins residing in the suburbs of Perth, Western Australia. They are called Alexander and Florence - never shortened - and for them watching screens is absolutely forbidden. That seems quite harsh but who knows what the best way forward is? Certainly not me - but what I do know is that screens are not going away and they will feature in every child's life as they move into the future.
Phoebe loves Peppa Pig and Trotro (thanks to Andrew in Melbourne!) as well as Mr Tumble and "Twirlywoos" plus film versions of wonderful children's books by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler - "The Gruffalo", "The Smeds and The Smoos", "The Whale and The Snail", "Superworm" etcetera. It can be hard to drag our little girl away from screen-time. She always wants more and "one more" doesn't usually mean that. As I say, it is something of a dilemma for us and countless others.
Anyway the main purpose of this blogpost is to share three pictures of Phoebe taken in the last week. She continues to grow physically, mentally and emotionally and remains a constant joy. It is getting hard to remember life without her.
I love that she is being entrusted with small tasks like doing the grocery shopping. That is how children learn responsibility. I trust basic meal prep is next.
ReplyDeleteYes meal prep and house cleaning next. What is the point of grandchildren if you can't turn them into servants?
DeleteLittle kids develop very quickly so enjoy them while you can.
ReplyDelete"Thank heavens for little girls..." - Maurice Chevalier
DeletePhoebe is a delight. My grandkids have screen time but it is limited. I agree with you, it is part of life now and kids need to know how to use it and use it safely. When Alexander and Florence start school their names will shortened.
ReplyDeleteIf the parents wanted to avoid name shortening they should have called them Ian and Joy.
DeleteI love the photo where Phoebe is shopping :)
ReplyDeleteThe twins get a lot of screen time, but don't pay much attention as they roll around the floor with their toys. My own children didn't get much screen time, they watched something in the time between dinner and bed from Monday to Friday, then a bit more on weekends if there was suitable programming, but only in winter when it was too cold and wet outside.
Phoebe also loves to see photos and video clips (mostly of her!) on grandma's smartphone.
DeleteLovely pictures all three, but the middle one is my favourite. It seems to say so much about Phoebe, her character and her mood at that moment.
ReplyDeleteScreen time was automatically limited in my childhood - "Children's Hour" on TV truly meant an hour, not more, and there were only 3 channels to watch anyway (we're talking early 1970s here).
I agree with your reasoning, Neil; screens are not going away anytime soon, and will be an integral part of most people's lives, including Phoebe's. Just like with almost everything else in life, I suppose it's all about balance - as long as a child does not spend his or her entire time glued to a screen, but gets out and about in the fresh air, is free to run and jump and climb, ride a bike, swim, play ball with other children or their parents and grandparents, has healthy food, is read to (and later reads on his or her own), some screen time every now and then does not seem harmful.
Even though she is only two she creates pressure for more screen-time and there can be tears when she is refused it. She seems to be very strong-willed.
DeleteNo screen time means no tv for Alex and Flo. When caring for the young becomes all a bit much, being able to plonk them in front of the tv is a great relief. But yes, screen time really does need to be rationed, just not for me.
ReplyDeletePhoebe looks so much older and mature than her age.
She sends you her personal thanks for pointing us to "Trotro". Such a sweet little donkey...the cartoon character - not you!
DeleteMy, hasn't she grown up! Lovely photos, and how sweet she looks with her shopping basket!
ReplyDeleteTV, computers and phones must be a minefield as children grow older, and there's the peer pressure when some children are allowed everything. I don't envy today's parents, it must be difficult to know where to draw the line.
You want to do what's best but don't know exactly what that is!
DeleteI love that last photo.
ReplyDeleteWe all need a personal shopper.
DeleteI've been on line since 2009. Hey that rhymes send it to the Times! Super photos. What supermarket is it?
ReplyDeleteIts Sainsburys which doesn't rhyme with anything.
DeleteThe main thing is NOT to let her have a cell phone before she's in high school AT LEAST. I could write a long blogpost (and I might soon) about all the ways having phones in their pockets is ruining childhood and adolescence for kids. I work around hundreds of middle schoolers, so I know what I'm talking about.
ReplyDeletePhoebe is really getting big! Gosh, kids grow up so fast!
I look forward to reading your blogpost about kids and cellphones. As a former high school teache,r I well remember when mobile phones first began to appear in schools and annoyingly in my classroom too!
DeleteWhen I grew up, the debate was about television -- how much was too much, should it be rationed or restricted, etc. I can tell you I watched A LOT of television when I was a kid. Probably a good five hours a day. I don't think it hurt me any, but then, if I hadn't watched it, maybe I'd be a heart surgeon or a rocket scientist? Who knows?!
ReplyDeleteAt least with modern screens there's also the potential for learning something, as long as the screen time is properly chaperoned.
If you hadn't watched so much TV, maybe you could have become a journalist with one of America's best newspapers - "The New York Times" for example.
DeleteI love Phoebe Goes Shopping!
ReplyDeleteWe actually just saw a news report about children and screen time; I think we need some work on adults and screen time.
Screens can be so addictive and small children may be overwhelmed by them.
DeleteI am so grateful not to have to be the one to make those decisions for my children. It was hard enough to know how much TV to let them watch.
ReplyDeletePhoebe is a darling girl and I feel certain that she will turn out just as fine and smart as any child on earth, however much or not-much screen time she gets.
I suppose for me the question of reality arises. Her brain is being filled all the time but wouldn't it be best if most of that "filling" came from real life things like digging, running, animals, leaves, reading books, painting pictures?
DeleteShe is adorable. I would love Tom (grandson) to be back like that, we loved looking after him and still enjoy his company so much.
ReplyDeleteBriony
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As I have said before, raising Young Tom was probably the finest thing that you and Tom Senior ever did. You gave him love and security and you were always there for him even when he went through difficult times.
DeleteI believe the real danger is social media. It takes bullying to a whole new level of awful. Kids cannot escape it. It also exposes them to on line predators. William is 12 now, and wants to play 'Roblox'. After much lecturing and warnings and what to watch out for, we finally let him download it. We noticed, shortly afterward, that he was geting upset at the game. "Time to put that down," we said. He explained that it was not the game that frustrated him. It was that someone was following him from 'room' to 'room', trying to engage him, mocking him when he wouldn't respond, laughing at him when he told him to go away. This was EXACTLY one of the scenarios we had warned him at great length about: when someone you do not know tries to initiate contact, that is a danger sign. You need to tell an adult." Yet, enmeshed in the game, he either didn't recognize it or chose to ignore it to continue playing. Who was this person? We don't know. It could have been a mean kid. It might have been an adult. Yep. We limit on line time here.
ReplyDeleteSocial media seems to be like a jungle without rules. Governments and social media businesses seem happy to wash their hands of responsibility.
DeleteLike you, I don't know the answer and I'm sure even if I did, it would vary between child and families. But I quickly learned early on, that when our children had long hours of screen time, they quickly became easily angered and other behavioral issues. When we took away screens as a punishment, sometimes for a week at a time, their demeanor quickly evened out and was quite pleasant. So fairly early on, we simply banned electronics during the school week. They get a reasonable amount of time on the weekends and summer days but we always emphasize that is after they get their chores completed for the day, one of those chores includes reading a book for a set amount of time.
ReplyDeleteA decade has gone by and we still keep up the rules. Sometimes I feel like I should relax it a bit as they are now older and mature enough to know better, but both don't seem to mind one bit and neither of them have asked to have the rules relaxed. They also both love to read books.
The one thing I know for sure is that I'm glad I don't have to start down this road again. The raising part of my kids is nearing an end and they will before I want, be on their own. It will be their problem to deal with their kids and I hope I am around to see how that works out and if they will limit screen time during the weekdays as we did.
A most interesting response Ed. Thank you for that. From my point of view, I think your approach has been the right one. A question of judicious balance.
DeleteShe is so sweet and they do grow up so fast, don't they? You are blessed.
ReplyDeleteWe are indeed. Still pictures don't do her real life presence justice.
DeleteShe's a cutie, Neil! She has a happy life filled with love!
ReplyDeleteHopefully that love will make her better able to face the world.
DeletePhoebe is growing so quickly and sweetly. Enjoy this time. I am not a very good disciplinarian and just allow the children and adults around me to do what they want. It is often very surprising that children actually learn from just being allowed to do that. But as they get older, the phone becomes an attachment, and I am not sure that the short educational stuff they read on the phone actually broadens their education.
ReplyDeleteMobile phones seem to be a necessary evil in the modern world and perhaps one day I will see a need to acquire a phone of my own.
DeleteI'm a big reader and always was. I had big hopes my boys would also become readers. I read to them all the time and helped them become proficient readers in their early years of school. I encouraged plenty of outdoor play time and tried to limit the tv. Even so, my now adult boys are not readers. They take a stab at reading a book every now and then but the allure of their screens is too great.
ReplyDeletePhoebe will be just fine. She will have fond memories of you reading to her as well as those afternoons on the couch watching Peppa Pig with her.
Recently I have pretended that I am Daddy Pig after discovering that I can talk just like him. Phoebe loves that game.
DeleteHow big she's grown! I never had children, so also no grandchildren, so have not really had to deal with the question of screen-time (except perhaps in later years for myself!) ... I was at least 5 years old when my parents bought their first TV (1960 or later), and back then we had one (1) TV channel in Sweden, and very few children's programs... I can totally see how it must be a dilemma for parents (and grandparents) how to handle the situation nowadays, though - and with different families arriving at very different rules, too.
ReplyDeleteYou and I are of roughly the same vintage DT. I can also remember a time in Britain when there was just one TV channel - the BBC but its programmes only ran from about 5pm to midnight. Nowadays we have endless choice 24 hours a day. Is that good for small children or children of any size? There's a lot to be said for simplicity and quiet time in our lives.
DeleteIn that first picture, I could imagine a grown-up Phoebe when she may be featured on screens of her own. Movie screens!
ReplyDeleteYou are a sweet-talking Bruce!
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