The reason that Bob's head fell off is that the temperature was rising outside. Water was dripping everywhere. Those of us with hearing listened to the drips as the previously crunchy snow began to turn to slush. Before Bob's head fell off he lost his nose and one of his potato eyes. He looked a right mess.
Little Phoebe was coming here in the middle of the afternoon and I was a little worried in case she suffered some kind of trauma upon seeing a now headless Bob. That's why I did the swift surgery - no anaesthetics or anything. I suspect you will agree with me when I say that a child's mind could be permanently scarred by the sight of a decapitated best friend.
Being a transplant surgeon is not as hard as it might appear. I have had zero training in the field and discovered that all I needed was a modicum of common sense, a screwdriver, gloves and a garden spade.
As I was operating on Bob, I wondered why all snowmen are white. In this age of multi-culturalism and political correctness, it is surely time that we saw black and brown snow people in our midst. If there is to be a next time, I must investigate food colourings that I could spray onto the surface of the snow or would non-white people find that offensive? It is so hard to do the right thing.
Finally, I have confession to make. My idea for a story based on Bob The Snowman and Little Phoebe was 99% plagiarised and based entirely on the comic book "The Snowman" by Raymond Briggs - first published in 1978 and later turned into a very popular Christmas film with a memorable theme song sung by Welsh choirboy, Aled Jones. Well done to Frances and I think Thelma for spotting this crudely attempted deception!
With this snow sculpture , next year you'll be over here next year participating in Ottawa's winterlude festivities. A major part of the celebration is with ice and snow sculpture.
ReplyDeleteI must admit that Bob the Snowman appeared incredibly lifelike.
DeleteBravo on the surgery but the eyes would give me nightmares!
ReplyDeleteMany snowmen suffer from brown eye disease. The only solution is major eye surgery including the implantation of new eyes bought from a butcher shop.
DeleteA girl that I graduated with illustrated a book called ' a Snowman just Named Bob.
ReplyDeleteWhat a remarkable co-incidence!
DeleteWell, I never!!
ReplyDeleteDid Phoebe notice anything different about Bob, and have you gently prepared her for him not being around for long?
Before she went home last evening, I took her to the window to see Bob. She waved at him and said "By-bye Snowman!"
DeleteYou did a great job with Bob's head and if I ever lose mine I shall call upon you toot-sweet.
ReplyDeleteYou can pick any new head you want - I have a catalogue to chose from. You could be the new Julia Gillard.
DeleteI think you misconnected the spinal cord. By Snowy's smile, he appears to have had a stroke.
ReplyDeleteI don't do spines - far too complicated for a journeyman surgeon like myself.
DeleteBob might have been deaf, but I think he is probably blind as well now.....those potato eyes look past their best!
ReplyDeleteBefore his death he was suffering from brown eye disease. It was 9 degrees C last night - fatal for a snowman.
DeleteWell, if ever I lose my head I shall know who to ask for advice on reinstatement.
ReplyDeleteYou do know there is a way to make yellow snow using all natural ingredients?
I could say something about Chinese snowmen at this point but others might construe any such remark as improper.
DeleteYes, they would, Neil.
DeleteI know you are watching Ellen so I must take care.
DeleteLemon jelly crystals?
DeleteWell done for avoiding a traumatised grandchild. I have seen yellow snow but I won't go into why it was yellow!!!
ReplyDeleteCould it be caused by pub-goers being caught short on their way home?
DeleteWurzel Gummidge used to get his new heads like his 'sulking head' replaced by the Crowman. You could be the Snowman Crowman YP.
ReplyDeleteYes I could be. That would be something wouldn't it?
DeleteAll snow people are the same,
ReplyDeleteYes. White, lazy and cold-hearted.
DeleteYou are quite the surgeon, YP!
ReplyDeleteOne needs steady hands and a delicate touch.
DeleteMy kids once solved the head falling off problem by building a snowman laying down. I was surprised by their cleverness.
ReplyDeleteI suppose that one could jam a pole into the snowman's body before ramming a head on.
DeleteI would be worried about a head on a pike remaining scenario!
DeleteYou are a good grandfather.
ReplyDeleteI have been studying Boppy's good example via your blog.
DeleteThere actually are snowmen tinted colours like red or blue using food colouring. Personally, I think they look strange, but it may be the workmanship, not the colours ;) I think it was a good idea to restore the head of your snowman before Phoebe saw him.
ReplyDelete