"He's a wolf in cheap clothing." - Robert Brague
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
Dan Quayle, former US Vice President
"Electrocution lessons help to improve diction." - Ian Rhodes (aka Shooting Parrots)
"It's nice to go widow shopping at Christmas." - Mick from "Mick's Page"
"After a long air flight, it is reassuring to get your feet back onto terracotta." - Libby (from The Midlands)
"A triangle with all its sides equal is called an equatorial triangle." - Daphne Franks
"A rolling stone gathers no moths" - Jan Blawat
"At New Year I like to attend a Scottish Mahogany" - Maurice the Hippo (Angola)
"I don't understand. You need to be a bit more pacific." - Helen (Brisbane)
"It'a a long play but there's an intercourse in the middle." - Earl John Gray
"If you swallow poison, you should take an anecdote." - Mountain Thyme (Colorado)
" The doctor told him he had very close veins" - Dave (Hamilton NZ)
"One of my favourite songs is Michael Rode the Girl Next Door" -Brian (Catalonia, near Spain)