28 November 2012

Malapropisms

"Michelangelo painted the Sixteenth Chapel. " - Katherine de Chevalle

"He's a wolf in cheap clothing." - Robert Brague

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
Dan Quayle, former US Vice President


"Electrocution lessons help to improve diction." - Ian Rhodes (aka Shooting Parrots)

"It's nice to go widow shopping at Christmas." - Mick from "Mick's Page"

"After a long air flight, it is reassuring to get your feet back onto terracotta." - Libby (from The Midlands)

"A triangle with all its sides equal is called an equatorial triangle." - Daphne Franks
"A rolling stone gathers no moths" - Jan Blawat

"At New Year I like to attend a Scottish Mahogany" - Maurice the Hippo (Angola)

" 'Don't' is a contraption." - Jennyta (Wrexham, Wales)

"I don't understand. You need to be a bit more pacific."  - Helen (Brisbane)

"It'a a long play but there's an intercourse in the middle." - Earl John Gray

"If you swallow poison, you should take an anecdote." - Mountain Thyme (Colorado)

" The doctor told him he had very close veins" - Dave (Hamilton NZ)

"One of my favourite songs is Michael Rode the Girl Next Door" -Brian (Catalonia, near Spain)

9 comments:

  1. a smile before work!
    thank you....
    my grandmother always referred to Incendiary bombs in WW2 as insanitary bombs

    ReplyDelete

  2. "Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
    Dan Quayle, former US Vice President

    One of his many "foot in mouth" moments. Which left the door wide open for George Bush to butcher the English language. That man made up words that will haunt US citizens for centuries. :)
    Thanks for the chuckle.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lovely stuff!

    Worryingly, I know several very intelligent people who misuse words, thinking pacifically of pacific.

    I never tell them - I daren't!

    Anna :o]

    ReplyDelete
  4. I really try to speak and write proper English at all times. However, one of these days, my poor diseased eyes will completely give out and then you better be able to have sound on your blog if you want to interact with me in the future.

    (I would really love to hear you read your poetry to me someday. That would be a wonderful thing, Mr. Pudding).

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks for the chuckle. I really needed it. Have been imprisioned for 10 days with 90 year old mother while Dad's aortic valve is being replaced. Like Ground Hog Day with almost the same conversation EVERY day for 10 days !!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I only make mistakes like that when my iPhone edits what I type, but if you want to think I'm illegitimate, that's ok. Or is it illiterate? Inconsiderate? Illogical? All those things.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You've hit the nail on the head!

    It's not a malapropism or whatever, but may raise a chuckle: Catalan (and French maybe?) word for "having a cold" is to be "constipat", and as such many students do a quick translation and tell me they're constipated and have you got any tissues ....

    ReplyDelete
  8. Eewwwe Brian!

    My Mum used to alter many of her 'sayings... 'like a bullet at a gate' was one I remember.

    Fun post.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh and my friend with whom I recently went to the beach told me a long story about a friend of hers who has 'got the prostrate problem' - shortened later to just 'got prostrate'.

    I suppose men do 'get prostrate' a lot more when they are older.

    ReplyDelete

Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.