27 January 2014

Gillette

One of the downsides of manliness is shaving. Of course, I could be an idle and unkempt so-and-so - like certain male visitors to this blog - and sport a piratical beard but for the majority of my adult life I have chosen to be smooth-faced. 

Because testosterone pulses through my blood vessels like electricity, I have to shave every morning. Usually I do this while standing in the shower, holding a shaving mirror. For years I used Gillette's GII twin blade razor blades. They were much better than disposable razors and didn't have the annoying extra of a so-called "lubricating strip". Whoever dreamed up that addition needs shooting.

I don't know exactly when GII razor blades disappeared from our shops and supermarkets but around ten years ago, needing a new supply, I discovered I couldn't get hold of them. They had gone - vanished! Since then, whenever I have travelled abroad I have looked out for GII blades - from Malaysia to Marrakech - but there are no GII blades anywhere. Okay there's GII Plus and a range of other fancy razor blades sold at extortionate prices, but no GII.

One of the really good things about GII was that the blades lasted and lasted - staying sharp for a hell of a long time. And that's important if you want to avoid post-shaving soreness or even painful nicks. What I suspect happened is that Gillette recognised the longevity of their GII blades and realised that that very longevity was a hindrance to profits so overnight they withdrew them - all around the globe.

Anyway, last October, I spotted that an e-bay seller based in Singapore had some original GII blades for sale so I ordered two packs for just £10 in total - including international deliivery, They arrived at the start of November. Shirley scowled at me non-plussed as I danced around the house - delighted to meet up with my old shaving pals again.

The next morning, I put a GII blade in my razor and commenced shaving with it. Ahhh! A lovely feeling. But what is perhaps more significant is that this morning - January 27th - almost three months later - I have not had to replace that first GII blade! It is still as sharp as ever. With any other razor blade I would have had to replace it weeks ago.

I have nine GII blades left. If I can make a blade last for say four months then the supply I bought from Singapore should last me three years. That's less than one British penny per shave. In the meantime, if any Gillette spies happen upon this page could I urge you to bring GII back! I will be happy to star in a GII TV commercial for you. I step out of the shower and wink at the camera as my showering companion, a twenty year old Swedish beach volleyball player (female) called Olga runs her fingers tenderly over my cheeks and whispers huskily, "As smooth as a baby's bottom!"

13 comments:

  1. Hmmm... I guess the most difficult bit there is to find a Swedish beach volleyball player by the name of Olga. But you never know!

    By the way, the need to shave is not only a manly duty. Lots of women do it on a regular basis, albeit most of the time not their faces. (Although some would certainly benefit from that, too. There is an elderly lady at a jewellery shop in my town who would, in Victorian times, easily have become the star of a Freak Show as "The Bearded Lady".)

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    1. Economically speaking, growing old can be very challenging. Next time you see the old lady in the jewellery shop why not suggest that she could make some money by creating her own "Bearded Lady" website. Failing that, she could appear in the Gillette TV ad with me and Olga, the Swedish volleyball player - but definitely not in the shower with us! Three's a crowd.

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  2. I am not piratical.
    Did you mean 'wink'? I have a razor it's a bloody useless thing that takes the old double edged blades. One of them will see me for a year.

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    1. Ooo arrr! Nice to 'ear from ye me hearty! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Oo arr Jim lad!

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  3. If I were you, YP, I would contact that seller and buy up the rest of his stock. You'll probably be sorted for life then.

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    1. I think the stock I have already will be enough to take me to the pearly gates Jenny.

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  4. They were probably taken off the market because they lasted too long and the company weren't making enough money!!

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    1. Exactly my suspicion Crafty!

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  5. Now I know what to buy you for Christmas next year.

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    1. What? A Swedish beach volleyball player called Olga?

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  6. Mr Pudding, they work well, they last a long time, they have no gunky and disgusting strip, why else would a money grabbing bastard want to discontinue them?

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    1. Hi there Mumasu. Is it just an urban legend that for years "they" knew how to manufacture everlasting light bulbs? I think not.

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  7. They certainly have found cures for certain cancers that have not been investigated. There's only one thing sure in life...

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