28 January 2015

Fluids


Fluids? Not the kind you can find in the drinks aisle of your local supermarket. No. I am thinking bodily fluids. We all move around in these amazing vehicles called The Human Body - some more amazing than others it's true. To function, our vehicles require a wide range of fluids which we owe to the human race's evolution through two thousand million years - from the very first living cells. And here's what all that evolution has provided for our pleasure:-
  • Amniotic fluid
  • Aqueous humour and vitreous humour (In the eye)
  • Bile
  • Blood serum (Plasma)
  • Breast milk (Good with coffee)
  • Cerebrospinal fluid
  • Cerumen (earwax)
  • Chyle (Inside the digestive system)
  • Chyme (Also within the digestive system)
  • Endolymph and perilymph (In the ear)
  • Exudates (Often associated with scabbing)
  • Faeces  (i.e. diarrhoea)
  • Female ejaculate (Women only)
  • Gastric acid
  • Gastric juice (Unlike orange juice)
  • Lymph (Fluid associated with the lymphatic system)
  • Mucus (including nasal drainage and phlegm)
  • Pericardial fluid (In the sac around the heart)
  • Peritoneal fluid (In stomach lining)
  • Pleural fluid (In lungs)
  • Pus (Very different from a cat)
  • Rheum (Often called "sleep" can be an eye discharge at night)
  • Saliva (Not to be confused with the salvia plant)
  • Sebum (Skin oil)
  • Semen (Men only)
  • Sputum (mucus from the lower airways)
  • Synovial fluid (Lubrication in joints)
  • Sweat
  • Tears
  • Urine
  • Vaginal secretion (Women only)
  • Vomit (Often the response to lists of bodily fluids)
As you will realise, I am no biologist so  I apologise if I have missed out any bodily fluids. By the way - to clarify - coffee, beer, wine and Coca Cola are not bodily fluids even when they are swishing around inside your belly. The same applies to tea and household  bleach. I prefer the term bodily fluids over body fluids because the latter could include skin lotions, suntan oil and perfumes for example.

10 comments:

  1. Shame on you Mr Pudding. For saying that breast milk equates with coffee with cream. I think Mrs. Pudding should put you in the basement for at least five days!! And make you recite to those traffic controllers just what the fuck women and their breasts are for!!! Jealous are we? You men cannot only NOT produce life, but you cannot keep it alive for a year or more! Shame on you, Mr. Pudding!!!

    Cerumen is not a fluid in your ear.....it is sweat in your ear!

    You disappoint me, Mr. P. I am sure that Shirley is just mortified!

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    Replies
    1. As well as coffee, I also liked half a cup of Shirley's breast milk in my morning porridge. There was plenty left over for the babies. Clearly Big Bear never enjoyed this excellent dietary supplement when your kids were babes. Poor fellow - no wonder he doesn't help out with the cooking!

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  2. Glad you had vomit at the end of that list because that is exactly what I felt like doing by the time I read to the end of your post....

    I've said it before and I'll say it again, get back out and tramp around the countryside and take photos. I don't care if the snow is six feet deep. Get out there.

    Ms Soup

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    Replies
    1. It is snowing heavily as I write and I am ill - with a bad throat that has me coughing every five minutes so please excuse me for the reduction in plodding photos.

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  3. It's all part of the package that comes with having command of (more or less) a human body - no need to be squeamish about those fluids :-)
    They are important to our health and wellbeing, as anyone will notice as soon as some fluid production or other does not work properly. Just think of how tired and irritable your eyes get when you've spent too much time staring at the computer screen, simply because the production of lipids in your eye fluid was not enough.

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    Replies
    1. You got me Miss Arian. The list was a partial celebration of the evolution of the human body. Such a brilliant machine.

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  4. Great! I'm really pleased I called by today. I'm glad I've finished my lunch...I shall now secrete out of here quietly.

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    Replies
    1. G'day! Only secrete in the dunny* Lee!
      (*See how I am picking up the Aussie lingo mate)

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    2. Do you know what, Yorky...that is one word I've never used. We weren't allowed to use the word when we were kids (by decree of our mother and grandmother)...and I never have.

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  5. Gross. Gag. Puke. Oh, I guess you already said that. You need to put your coat on and go outside and take some nice pictures and get your mind off.....whatever it is that's ailing you at the moment. These bodies ARE amazing - they did not 'evolve' into this wonderfulness....we were created that way to begin with! "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14. Can I say that?? Huh? Can I???

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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.