An apology is in order. See the photo above, In error it was posted by my admin support staff when I composed a blogpost "Warning" about cringeworthy tattoo mistakes. My recently appointed secretary, Miss Imelda Ramirez from Costa Rica, Central America is still learning the ropes so I couldn't get too mad with her.
It seems that the photo at the top was wrongly ascribed to blogging buddy - Ms Janice James who, as you will probably recall, is the owner of a palatial chicken ranch in exclusive Sloughhouse near Sacramento, California. Her lawyer, a certain Laurence Goldberg of Goldberg, Abrahams and Elmohamady Ltd has threatened me with legal action if I don't amend Miss Ramirez's unintended error.
So below, I present a bona fide photograph of Jan's actual upper chest tattoo. This was supplied by the aforementioned Laurence Goldberg. As you can see, Jan is all starry-eyed as she gazes into the camera lens baring the tattoo she had done when she was a pop sensation with "The Blogettes" girl group in the autumn of 2013.
Fame is so very fleeting these days. The Blogettes have disbanded and have returned to their tedious old lives. Jan hums old Blogettes tunes as she tends her chickens while Carol and Helen have returned to the Australian bush in search of witchetty grubs, Jenny receives counselling in her cottage in the Welsh hills while Katherine tries to dispel her disappointment through immersion in therapeutic artwork. It isn't easy being a fallen star.
Meanwhile, I know that all male visitors to this humble blog will be hoping that Jan's lawyer will send us some snaps of her other rather more intimate tattoos. Until then-
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| Miss Imelda Ramirez (Secretary) |
Well as we speak I am waiting for my witchety grub pie to cook in the oven ~ in the absence of Sloughhouse chickens ~ as they say in the classics ~ Witchety grubs go in and pies come out.
ReplyDeleteDroll Carol..very droll. Ever heard that song "The Witchety Lineman"?
DeleteThe gratuitous booby photo to end with!
ReplyDeleteYes John - it's the booby prize.
DeleteI've never seen a more accurately done tattoo in my life. It actually makes me rethink my own "Zero Tattoos" policy.
ReplyDeleteCalifornian tattooists are of course supremely talented. Contact Jan directly for advice. A dolphin leaping on your left shoulder blade would surely enhance your appearance Meike.
DeleteNow I know why the chickens in Sloughhouse are so beautiful and award-winning. Ms. Jan sings to them!!! That'll do it! I am sure that she will forgive you and call off the dogs (lawyers) if you just buy all the copies of the group's one album and send a copy to everyone in Yorkshire.
ReplyDeleteRegarding the album idea. see Ms Blawat-James's comment below. And yes Ms BJ's singing and humming as she goes about her chores certainly keeps her feathered friends happy even though Wesley complains like the devil.
DeleteThe tattoo is nice and crisp because I just had some plastic surgery done. With aging skin that was wrinkling, it had distorted the name to Blubettes and I was avoiding wearing low-cut shirts. Your apology is accepted, there will be no further skin photos, unless my plastic surgeon can perform a miracle and produce a result like your secretary's. Ms. Peace Thyme's idea is a grand one, but I fear flooding Yorkshire with our album might be considered an act of terrorism.
ReplyDeleteAgeing skin? No way! I think you are a living advertisement for Olay skin products. Please post a picture of the Ronald Reagan tattoo on your left buttock.
DeleteP.S. "aging" (American English) "ageing" (British English). Both are correct.
DeleteCarol must have the same witchety grub pie recipe as I have...I'm in the process of making a pie right now, too!
ReplyDeleteBy the way...I hate tattoos. I always have...and have never understood why anyone would want to get one. They make me cringe.
Hey, life is for living Lee! You gotta try everything once and I would like to suggest a hummingbird on your upper arm or shoulder or maybe a cute little witchetty grub discreetly hidden from public view.
DeleteNope...having a tattoo on my body, anywhere, is the last thing on my mind. I can see absolutely no reason to do so. If I want a piece of art...I'll have it framed and hang it on a wall.
DeleteLiving life doesn't mean I need a tattoo. I've hated them since I was a child. My stepfather who was a real bastard of the first degree had tattoos...that's where my hate for them began....and it will never cease.
I was winding you up Lee. I hate them too. At the school I worked in in Thailand, any teacher with tattoos had to keep them covered up. This amused me greatly - especially women with sticking plasters on their shoulders or upper arms.
DeleteIt's okay, Yorky...I figured you were. :)
DeleteCould you ask your secretary if she has a sister who fancies working and living in a van? I am tempted to head hunt your staff.
ReplyDeleteI doubt it's the head that you are hunting Adrian!
DeleteI'm even more confused.
ReplyDelete