21 January 2015

Help!

Help! I am snowed in in Arctic Sheffield. All through the night the white stuff fell - once again covering the city with a thick white blanket. The snow has drifted right up our doorways and I can only get out through an upstairs window. We have no supplies in the fridge or cupboards and are desperately in need of an airdrop. Please send what you can to The Yorkshire Pudding Emergency Appeal. Items required include:-

  • Fillet steak (Two poounds of)
  • Ready roasted chicken (Large)
  • A case of New Zealand sauvignon blanc (Oyster Bay will do)
  • Two Ben Sherman denim effect shirts (X Large)
  • A barrel of Tetley's bitter
  • Two return air tickets to St Lucia or Cuba (Club class)
  • A bundle of fifty pound notes
  • A sledge and six huskies
  • A couple of now redundant Page Three girls from "The Sun"
  • New lightweight walking boots (UK Size 11)
  • Two pairs of those tennis racquets that Arctic explorers tie to their feet.
  • A "Mars" bar
Photos from our upstairs windows this morning:-
PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY!

34 comments:

  1. That's not snow YP!! I used to walk to school with snow up to the top of my boots. Mars Bar and Morrison's ready cooked chicken in the post.

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    1. I hope it is a king size Mars bar and I would prefer the chicken from Waitrose. When you walked to school you must have worn ankle boots Molly.

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  2. I would have sent you an Amazon gift voucher but by the time I read this I had already surfed away from their site.

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    1. Your kindness is extraordinary sir.

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  3. Damn! I was going to drop off some Mars bars to you, but ate them all...sorry!

    I did make a few extra Yorkshire Puddings with my roast beef lunch...would some of those do?

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    1. No they would not do! The idea of an Australian woman making Yorkshire puddings is absurd but "making out" with Yorkshire Puddings is desirable.

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    2. Hahahahahahaha!

      I've made many Yorkshire puddings, I'll have you know, Yorky! And very good ones, too! I'm hurt...so I'm going off to the other room to sulk...and I'm taking the bag of Mars bars that I bought this morning with me! So there!

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    3. You are being immature Lee!

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    4. Hahahahahaha! *chomp! chomp!*

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  4. More importantly ~ how are Beau and Peep the Sheep?

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    1. Shirley and I had to sleep with them last night - to keep them warm. In my sleep I rolled over on to Beau and I am so embarrassed about what happened next but afterwards I felt like a New Zealand sheep farmer.

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    2. You felt like a New Zealand sheep farmer to sleep with instead of Beau? Hmmm.

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  5. Call that snow? You should live over here in north Wales, YP. The snow here separates the men from the boys. ;)

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    1. It's not boys the men are interested in Jenny - it's sheep! Just ask Keith.

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  6. Don't panic, don't drink urine or eat Polar Bears. I have phoned Red Ed's brother at International Rescue and help is on it's way. I also contacted your MP Clogged Up but he wanted to know if you were the same Mr Pudding that had been posting letters full of excrement through his letter box. I said you have a constituent in need and as an MP you are duty bound to put his minor irritating habits to one side and arrange help. He agreed and said he would put it to the coalition cabinet.
    Eat Polar Bear livers. You'll die but not as fast as waiting for a decision from Dithery or Devious Cleggy.
    I have done my best for you.

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    1. Thank you Adrian but what have you selected from my list - above? Oh and it is very funny you should mention Clegg's special delivery - very funny indeed. I could say something about that but GCHQ Cheltenham are regular readers of this blog and I do not want to incriminate anybody.

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  7. I have made note of your needs and will shop for them (although it might be difficult to procure the Tetley's bitters in the States) and post as soon as I can get through the snow at my front door, down the Lane, and into the village. Can you hold out till spring comes? (And, as you know, spring for us begins around the end of May.)

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    1. Wait till springtime? I know you are married to a bear PTGAWS but I am not a bear I am a human being!

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  8. What's that story bout Bo and Peep ? .? I can see the poor things down the back yard covered with snow ! I'm just about to dash out to buy whatever I can from your list of needs. Don't know whether the shops in Hervey Bay stock all your needs but I'll give it a try. Then I'll pack it all up and post it. Knowing Australia Post you might get it in time for Winter next year !...... There's always Bo and Peep on the BBQ if you get desperate !

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    1. BBQ Beau and/or Peep! I am devastated that you would even think such a thing Helen! It would be like grilling family members. There there Peep, don't get upset! Daddy's here!.

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  9. What happened to that legendry British stiff upper lip? And only one Mars bar? I could make some soup....

    Ms Soup

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    1. Yes Alphie, you could make some soup but it's not on my list!

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  10. He he he. I suppose this would be a bad time to say that we enjoyed our clamming adventure on the coast immensely and that just this very morning I sat in my lawn chair against the side of the camper, basking in the January sun...Temps were upper 50's but for a bit felt more like 60's. Dined on oven baked crispy fresh clams, pubhouse halibut, raw-fried potatoes & onions and parmesan garlic rolls. Now, buck up, YP, and dig through the freezer and cupboards and eat that stuff you've been pushing to the back. A little hardship builds character!

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    1. You are right Hilly, it was a bad time to boast about your coastal adventures with Mr Hilly. There's nothing left in our cupboards or freezer. Living in a city close to shops we don't really have to stock up as hillbillies do.

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  11. I have some leftover Christmas cookies (not home-made ones, those never live long enough when entrusted to me) which I could donate. They are made with almonds and honey. By now, I am sure they have become so hard that they will last a long time. Imagine, you could nibble on just one piece for hours! Sounds good?

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    1. No, it does not "sound good" Miss Arian! Are rock hard German biscuits on my list? No! You are winding me up while I starve and watch a polar bear with a couple of penguins strolling down our street

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  12. You must feel so very heartened, Yorky, by all our most generous offers and suggestions! :)

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    1. Heartened by the Heartless? No way Jose!

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  13. In a few days it will be all gone.
    Here it will stay until April. And it has been like that since December.
    We have lots of food.

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    1. Where is "here" madame? I Glanced at your blog and couldn't figure out if you were in France or Canada.

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    2. In Canada (province of Quebec) where the snow and the cold last so long

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  14. I wish I could send you some if the sunny, 70°F weather we've been having this week. January is insane here....15°F one day and in less than a week it's reaching 70°. It surely won't last, but it's a nice break from winter! If I could send a warm blast across the pond to you I would!

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    1. As you are a goddess Jennifer, sending me a warm blast should not be beyond your powers. British weather is also crazy like that. We never know what we are going to get.

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  15. Been in mid 30's Celsius herd the last few days, nice and sunny, should really go for a swim.

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