- There is no truth in the rumour that Robert Brague mistook the alcoholic punch for non-alcoholic punch and ended up stark naked sliding down the banisters yelling "Geronimo!"
- There is no truth in the rumour that Carol from Cairns slept with Lord Edward Manners and is expecting to become the new Lady Carol Manners and nor is it true that she worked out this devious plot while flying club class with Qantas over the Persian Gulf.
- There is no truth in the rumour that Adrian from "Adrian's Images" pinched the left buttock of American blogger Jennifer and ended up romping with her in the stables. Nor is it true that Jennifer repeatedly cracked his naked backside with a riding crop leaving painful red weals upon his ample rump.
- There is no truth in the rumour that Helen from Brisbane and her devoted husband Tony were involved in an unholy row with Kate Steeds and Graham about whether New Zealand was better than Australia. And it isn't true that Helen and Kate had to be separated by Lord Manners's butler as they wrestled on the floor of The Great Hall, chunks of the other lady's hair in their hands.
- There is no truth in the rumour that Hilly from "Hilltop Homestead" went to bed as soon as she had received her "Laughing Horse" award, saying "I've got a headache". And there is also no truth in the rumour that she was later seen canoodling with Lord Manners's gatekeeper under the wisteria.
|Haddon Hall staff greeting bloggers yesterday afternoon|
- There is no truth in the rumour that Jan James-Blawat "acquired" some prize bantams from Lord Manners's henhouse in the middle of the night, holding a burlap sack and a torch while whispering "Come to mama!"
- There is no truth in the rumour that Molly Printemps grabbed Earl John Gray's left hand and dragged him up to the bridal suite, huskily announcing, "You are spending the night with me my little Welsh teddy bear!". Nor is it true that a protesting Earl John Gray was crying out, "I'll only do it if you give me an M&S scotch egg!"
- There is no truth in the rumour that Lee from "Kitchen Connection" made a "kitchen connection" with Pierre the French sous chef in the scullery and he did not come out of the kitchen stumbling around with hair dishevelled and a glazed expression on his face.
- There is no truth in the rumour that Brian Cutts, dressed in a traditional Catalan costume that made him look like a playing card, offered to give Mama Thyme from Colorado a traditional Catalan massage. And it isn't true that this in fact happened on the bearskin rug in front of the roaring fire in the dining room. And it is not true that Mama Thyme's left side got painfully scorched by the fire.
Finally, I give you the awards committee's citation that underpinned Meike Riley's "Blogger of the Year Award":-
"An active blogger who - it must be remembered - is not blogging in her first language. Her command of English is outstanding - far better than that of many native English speakers. Her blog is nicely varied with book reviews, fashion photos, accounts of walks and travels. Unlike a lot of Germanic people, she has a healthy sense of humour and is thoughtful and attentive when commenting on other bloggers' blogposts. In our estimation she is the ideal nomination for Blogger of the Year 2014"