1 January 2015

Repudiation

Haddon Hall in New Year's Day sunshine
Last night at Haddon Hall in Derbyshire...
  • There is no truth in the rumour that Robert Brague mistook the alcoholic punch for non-alcoholic punch and ended up stark naked sliding down the banisters yelling "Geronimo!"
  • There is no truth in the rumour that Carol from Cairns slept with Lord Edward Manners and is expecting to become the new Lady Carol Manners and nor is it true that she worked out this devious plot while flying club class with Qantas over the Persian Gulf.
  • There is no truth in the rumour that Adrian from "Adrian's Images" pinched the left buttock of American blogger Jennifer and ended up romping with her in the stables. Nor is it true that Jennifer repeatedly cracked his naked backside with a riding crop leaving painful red weals upon his ample rump.
  • There is no truth in the rumour that Helen from Brisbane and her devoted husband Tony were involved in an unholy row with Kate Steeds and Graham about whether New Zealand was better than Australia. And it isn't true that Helen and Kate had to be separated by Lord Manners's butler as they wrestled on the floor of The Great Hall, chunks of the other lady's hair in their hands.
  • There is no truth in the rumour that Hilly from "Hilltop Homestead" went to bed as soon as she had received her "Laughing Horse" award, saying "I've got a headache". And there is also no truth in the rumour that she was later seen canoodling with Lord Manners's gatekeeper under the wisteria.
Haddon Hall staff greeting bloggers yesterday afternoon
  • There is no truth in the rumour that Jan James-Blawat "acquired" some prize bantams from Lord Manners's henhouse in the middle of the night, holding a burlap sack and a torch while whispering "Come to mama!"
  • There is no truth in the rumour that Molly Printemps grabbed Earl John Gray's left hand and dragged him up to the bridal suite, huskily announcing, "You are spending the night with me my little Welsh teddy bear!". Nor is it true that a protesting Earl John Gray was crying out, "I'll only do it if you give me an M&S scotch egg!"
  • There is no truth in the rumour that Lee from "Kitchen Connection" made a "kitchen connection" with Pierre the French sous chef in the scullery and he did not come out of the kitchen stumbling around with hair dishevelled and a glazed expression on his face.
  • There is no truth in the rumour that Brian Cutts, dressed in a traditional Catalan costume that made him look like a playing card, offered to give Mama Thyme from Colorado a traditional Catalan massage. And it isn't true that this in fact happened on the bearskin rug in front of the roaring fire in the dining room. And it is not true that Mama Thyme's left side got painfully scorched by the fire.
Finally, I give you the awards committee's citation that underpinned Meike Riley's "Blogger of the Year Award":- 

"An active blogger who - it must be remembered - is not blogging in her first language. Her command of English is outstanding - far better than that of many native English speakers. Her blog is nicely varied with book reviews, fashion photos, accounts of walks and travels. Unlike a lot of Germanic people, she has a healthy sense of humour and is thoughtful and attentive when commenting on other bloggers' blogposts. In our estimation she is the ideal nomination for Blogger of the Year 2014"

16 comments:

  1. What happens at Haddon Hall stays at Haddon Hall! ;)

    Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy New Year Jennifer! I shall not tell anybody about your frolics with the old seadog Cap'n Adrian! Your secret is safe with me madam!
      HNY too!

      Delete
  2. Thanks for the award, the smiles and the entertainment. Have a great year yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are welcome Adrian. I hope my mischief has not offended your delicate sensibilities!

      Delete
  3. While Haddon Hall is now undergoing extensive renovations and will be closed to the public for at least the next six months, I shall tomorrow morning leave My Mental Library for a few days and spend a posh weekend at my rich uncle's country estate. The cashmere jumpers are ready, and the riding boots polished. Oh, and I must not forget my single strand of pearls. The cucumber sandwiches and scones with clotted cream for afternoon tea with my aunt and her three cats simply won't taste the same without them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We will all be thinking of you as you gallop off into the sunset on your uncle's prize steed, yelling "Tally-ho!". I agree that aunts and cats taste better with a big dollop of clotted cream!

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. Err...Please elucidate Carol. I am happy to admit that I am a bit thick.

      Delete
  5. ...and a scotch egg duly arrived......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have no fear John, we will keep this unsavoury scotch egg episode secret from Chris. He will never know.

      Delete
    2. I must owe Earl John Gray an apology but I can't remember a damn thing about the night...too much Champagne methinks.

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  6. Definitely a memorable extravaganza. Perhaps your vision was a bit obscured in the darkness? That was actually my husband you saw me with......how were we to know it was wisteria and not mistletoe?

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    Replies
    1. If it was your husband Hilly, how come he limped like The Hunchback of Notre Dame and had a huge bunch of antique keys dangling from his belt? See - I'm like Inspector Clouseau! And mistletoe has white berries!

      Delete
  7. I do so enjoy a romp in front of a roaring fireplace.

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    Replies
    1. Yes that is how it seemed as I peeped through the keyhole!

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  8. I'm glad that the row (which must have happened because I am about to deny it categorically) was unholy. I, for one, am definitely not into holy ones. And for the avoidance of doubt no Kiwi would even bother to suggest that their country is better than a country so completely different (and obviously less not better).

    ReplyDelete

Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.