17 April 2016

Conflict

British toilet bowls have seats. When a woman visits the toilet to urinate, she needs the seat to be down. In contrast, men need the seat up. In toilets that are used by both sexes, men often need to lift the seat and women often need to put it down.

I have heard women cite failure to put the seat down as one of the most irritating failings of the male gender. For example, on Friday, when I was working at the Oxfam shop, I overheard one of the women workers suggesting that a note should be put up in the newly refurbished unisex toilet urging male volunteers to remember to put the seat down. She was being serious! I have heard identical sentiments being expressed on both TV and radio - sometimes jokingly but always with an underlying sense of mild outrage. Oh these awful men - how dare they leave the seat up!

I just don't get it. To begin with - what the hell does it matter? And secondly, why aren't we men complaining about women who leave the seat down? How thoughtless of them - we men need the seat up thank you very much! It works both ways and if a note does go up in the Oxfam toilet I may be tempted to put a second note alongside it - "Dear Lady Volunteers - Please remember to put the seat up after use. Thank you. Have a nice day!"

27 comments:

  1. Well....I was never aware of that!!! One learns something new each day. (And men will never learn)!!!

    We women like to have the seat down when we wee. Where has chivalry gone? Is it too much to ask you men to put the seat down, and the lid down after you've attended to what needed attending to.

    Also, there is only one way for the toilet roll to be placed on the holder...the paper must flow over the top of the roll!

    Two of the reasons I love living alone...I have control of the toilet seat and the hanging of the toilet rolls!!! These things are important! lol

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    1. These things certainly are important Lee. Who cares if North Korea have developed nuclear weapons - what really matters is toilet seat etiquette and the way in which we hang our toilet rolls.

      Chivalry? I bet Sir Lancelot left the seat up too.

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    2. I agree, Yorkie! Stuff North Korea and little Kim. He probably sits down to pee, anyway...and has someone to lift the lid for him, and put it down again after he's finished his business. ;)

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    3. What business is that then? Pissing off every other world leader or crocheting antimacassars?

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  2. It doesn't matter and I don't understand why it does! & I'm a woman

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    1. Yo! You are a cool lady MAC! Thanks for dropping by again.

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    1. I could get much lower John.

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  4. You're "stirring up a hornet's nest".

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    1. You're such a nice guy Red I bet you always put the seat down!

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    2. Complements like nice guy might go to my head!

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  5. Fighting talk YP !!!

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    1. Okay CG, so where do you stand on the seat question?

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    2. I'm sure CG doesn't stand on the seat, Yorkie!

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    3. She does when there's a spider running across the floor - "Oh husband! Husband! Come quick! There's a beastie in the bathroom!"

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  6. I learned long ago to always keep the lid down after use (and obviously the seat too). Once upon a time, a two pence piece fell out of my trousers' pocket and, Murphy's Law, the loo top was up and down it went. The two hours' snorkeling in Barnsley sewage plant to retrieve the coin sure taught me a lesson.

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    1. Nice to have you back Brian. How was it being incarcerated? Serves you right for plotting to bring down the Spanish state! Do you wear that 2p piece round your neck like a medallion or did you spend it on a pig's trotter?

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    2. Banked it for when the kids go to university.

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    3. The University of Barnsley I hope.

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  7. LOL -- this is a hot button issue!

    Years ago I went to a Zen retreat where we were all formally instructed to leave the seat down for the comfort of the female practitioners. Like you, I didn't understand why female needs took precedence. I must admit that a fair amount of my meditating time was spent pondering that question.

    My solution is generally to put the lid down entirely, as Brian mentioned. That inconveniences both genders equally!

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    1. Lavatorial matters are at the heart of Buddhism. Being such an obese fellow Lord Buddha spent a lot of time sitting on the toilet contemplating Nature. Too many pizzas and too many chips (French fries).

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  8. This lavatory etiquette has always baffled me. Is it that the fairer sex find 'touching' the seat to lower it is somehow demeaning? or are they too obsessed with other things that they overlook the fact that the seat isn't lowered and hence get a rude awakening when they sit?

    Or do they mean the actual lid bit?

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    1. I believe they are referring to the first part with the big hole - the size of Donald Trump's head. Surely there are NHS guidelines on the matter - no doubt devised by highly paid management consultants.

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    2. What's the EU ruling on this - there must be one !!

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  9. Just put the lid down boys! I mean, you don't leave the doors flapping open on kitchen cupboards and wardrobes when you've used them, or the lid off the jam/toothpaste when you've finished....oh, hang on though, you DO don't you...

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    1. The answer was "No". Wanda Logic is too highbrow for me. Leaving the seat down allows evil germs to multiply in the tight gap between the seat and the porcelain. Leaving the seat up means that those deadly germs no longer have an enclosed environment in which to thrive and threaten our lives.

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  10. Maybe the men I have known intimately enough in my life to share a toilet with are different from other men (they must be, or they wouldn't have become part of my Collection of Men I Allow Into My Life), but I have never had that "problem" - the toilet seat was/is always in its ready-to-use position.

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