We hear platitudes all the time. They are what many people resort to when they cannot come up with an original and worthwhile remark. In this post I shall share ten common platitudes with my own rather anarchic comments attached.
⦿
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life" Well if that truly is the case what was last Friday? And what will tomorrow be? I don't get it. It sounds like it is from the same bag of trite nonsense as "Live each day as if it was your last". Does that mean that every day I have to order the most expensive takeaway curry I can afford? Ridiculous!
"Time is a great healer" Well, I had my front teeth knocked out when I was playing cricket in 1967. 56 years later they have not grown back so how much longer must I wait for time to do its healing?
"Love means never having to say you're sorry" By accident I peed on the toilet seat and forgot to clean it up after washing my hands. When my wife grumbled about this I reminded her of the trite saying. No I didn't! In reality, saying you're sorry to someone you love is very commendable.
"There's no 'i' in 'team'" Okay that might be true but there are two 'i's' in "intelligence" and two in "ingenuity" and one of the words with the greatest number of 'i's' is "indivisibility" with six . Some species of spider have eight eyes.
"Tomorrow is another day" No way José ! I thought that tomorrow was in fact today! Are you sure that it's another day? How can we prove your outlandish assertion? Perhaps I will stay up all night to check your theory and buy a newspaper in the morning to doublecheck the date.
"With all due respect" In reality this means - with zero respect. I have not been listening to anything you said and now you must listen to me because my point of view is always spot on so yeah, shut up and listen you numbskull!
"What goes around comes around" That is truly amazing but I once had that very sensation when riding on a roundabout (American: carousel) at a fairground. I was, I believe, riding on a painted wooden horse called Dobbin. Also I think of this very planet. Did you know that it it spins right round every twenty four hours - it goes around and it comes around. Far out!
"God moves in mysterious ways" In other words we have no idea what God is up to - if indeed he even exists. Random stuff happens. People die. Rivers flood. The Kardashians appear on TV. Who are we to second guess God's seemingly chaotic master plan. Never heard of blind faith?
"You can be anything that you want to be" Okay then - I want to be the President of the USA - replacing the faltering but kindly old man who currently occupies that position while fending off the big-headed oaf in the red cap. Trouble is I can't because I wasn't born in America and that law is not going to change any time soon. Similarly, I suspect that local man Howard who was a victim of the thalidomide scandal is never going play the Celtic harp or conduct The London Symphony Orchestra.
"It's the thought that counts" Yup! That's why I reused a greeting card on the occasion of Uncle Eddie's birthday - just scribbled out the sender's name and wrote my own name instead. And for Christmas I gave Auntie Eileen a knitted sweater that I suspected would be far too small for her and it certainly was but it's the thought that counts!
I like "there is no "I" in team"
ReplyDeletelots of people can't function in a team and I feel like this is a good reminder of how teams work
Some team members are invariably stronger or more willing than others.
DeleteI don't like God's mysterious ways, what goes around doesn't reliably come around (no karma), thoughts aren't actions, due respect is a load of baloney and love does mean saying you're sorry--quite often. I could continue...
ReplyDeleteYou are as snarky as me Margaret!
DeleteBah humbug to you Mr. Pudding!
ReplyDeleteWhat the Dickens!
DeleteYou've had a lot of fun poking holes through these sayings. However, I don't think it will make any difference.
ReplyDeleteIt might make a few people stop to think about them and how they are used.
DeleteBugger taking the bad with the good. I want it all to be good.
ReplyDeleteRough with the smooth.
DeleteFor me, time has been a great healer, it's softened my grief and made it much easier to bear. The rest, I agree with you.
ReplyDeleteThat platitude is sometimes used carelessly but of course it does contain a big kernel of truth.
DeleteAnd the final picture says it all. Well done, sir.
ReplyDeleteSo many platitudes have appeared on images like that one.
DeleteI know there must be more platitudes than that but I can't think of any.
ReplyDeleteWhat happens in Adelaide stays in Adelaide!
Delete"Everything comes to he who waits". I guess that means "she" misses out?
DeleteWhat if I wanted to be a Sumo wrestler? Nobody can be "anything" they want to be - a certain amount of realistic self-perception is necessary.
ReplyDeleteAs for this amazing planet we live on, did you know that not only does it go round every 24 hours, it even goes round and comes round the sun every 365 days!!!
No! I did not know that! I think you will have to fatten up considerably if you want to join a sumo school in Japan.
DeleteUse of English language and how it is delivered. Our use of irony can also be used to invoke platitudes. So rather than get rid of them, let us use them in different ways and not cull the language sir ;)
ReplyDeleteIn reality, many people mean well when they resort to platitudes so I wouldn't want to expunge them.
DeleteAh well, it is what it is ...
ReplyDeleteI should have included that one in my list.
DeleteNice post as the actress said to the bishop.
ReplyDeleteShe said a lot of things and so did he.
DeleteDon't eat that yellow snow.
ReplyDeleteI would rather chew the yellow snow than the brown snow.
DeleteI'm fairly certain that I have never seriously uttered any of these phrases!
ReplyDeletePlatitudes make me want to slap someone. Well, specifically, the person saying them. My two most hated ones at the moment are, "God never gives us more than we can handle" which is a bold-faced lie on many levels, and also, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." As if. Sometimes it just crushes and cripples us.
ReplyDeleteI better be careful in my comments,
ReplyDeleteI've heard a lot of these through the years. :)
ReplyDeleteJust one small comment. In the U.S. of A. heartland, roundabouts are traffic circles. (In Mexico they're known as "glorietas", a fine term I think.) But your roundabouts there are known here as "merry go rounds". Only snobs refer to them as carousels.
ReplyDeleteA carousel is a "roundabout"? That's new to me. Like Catalyst, I thought roundabouts were traffic circles!
ReplyDelete