One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex."What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said "Oh, I use a hole in the tru
nk of a tree".Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly".
She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide. "Here," she said,"You must put it in here".
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"
"Just checking for bees" said Tarzan.
I hope that this slightly risqué merriment didn't cause undue offence to readers of this blog. If it did - tough! Do you know any better jokes? Please post one.
And then Jane stung Tarzan, I'm sure. What a git! You don't kick a tree to check for bees, as any fule no. You tippy-toe around the tree, and if you find bees, you call out, "Wow! There's a party with free drinks over yonder in the meadow." The bees swarm out, and then you can check for honey without getting stung.
ReplyDeleteStupid, stupid Tarzan.
Oh, it was a joke! Whoops. Somehow, I missed that in the subject line and thought that you were trying to instruct us on how to find honey without getting stung.
Silly me.
Pppppppptttttht!
I'm taking over Word Verifier: the Gathering, since Hitman J is too sick to do it himself. Check out the comments section for my prompt. Won't Hitman J be surprised when he gets well again...
ReplyDeleteNEVER apologize for a funny joke (unless, of course, it's "off-color"...which I can't quite see you doing). For some reason, now, I'm craving a buzz. Hehe.
ReplyDeleteI'm catching up on your blogs. You've been busy while I've been away. I love the smilies, by the way. I see we've rubbed off on you a bit, and gotten you to come off some of the more serious stuff (although, I do love your true stories!) and throw caution to the wind at times. Let that Beatles mop loose, Babe. It suits you.