Confessions

In Hull City's matchday programmes they have a feature called "Confessions" in which particular players are asked to reveal themselves through responses to a series of questions. These were the questions addressed by Irish international Robbie Brady in the last programme:-

What is your greatest fear?
What is your earliest memory?
Which living person do you most admire and why?
What was your most embarrassing moment?
Property aside, what's the most expensive thing you have bought?
What is your most treasured possession?
Where would you like to live?
What would your super power be?
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Who would play you in the film of your life?
What is your most unappealing habit?
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
What is your favourite book?
What is your favourite smell?
What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
To whom would you most like to say sorry and why?
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
What has been your biggest disappointment?
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
What makes you unhappy?
Tell us a joke.

Above, I have deliberately left the questions unanswered so that bloggers who fancy the challenge can just copy and paste them into their own blogposts. And now below, perhaps fantasising that I am a Hull City midfield general wotth five million quid, here are my own responses:-

What is your greatest fear? Fear doesn't really play a big part in my life but I will say a catastophic mechanical failure or tyre blowout while driving at 80mph in the fast lane of a busy motorway

What is your earliest memory? Doctor Baker was in the house and I had been kept downstairs. Mum was in my parents' bedroom and Dad was there too. I was at the bottom of the carpeted staircase and I remember my little brother's first cries from above. I was utterly confused.

Which living person do you most admire and why? I am not one for hero worship. Apart from Shirley and our wonderful children I will say Bob Dylan for his incredible songwriting ability and his endurance.

What was your most embarrassing moment? Perhaps that afternoon at a large English Literature examiners' meeting when a man entered the room dressed as a gorilla. He came right over to my work station and picked me up, throwing me over his shoulder before marauding around the room.

Property aside, what's the most expensive thing you have bought? A Seat Ibiza car.

What is your most treasured possession? My guitar.

Where would you like to live? I am settled here in the suburbs of Sheffield. Moving to the countryside is attractive but also concerning. One of the most comfortable places I have ever been was San Francisco. If I were younger I would have seriously considered living there

What would your super power be? The immediate translation of foreign languages so that no matter where I travelled I would know what people were saying.

What do you most dislike about your appearance? I am too handsome - it would have been nice to be a bit uglier - like other people.

Who would play you in the film of your life? Clint Eastwood in his prime - not the blethering idiot he has become.

What is your most unappealing habit? A toss up between occasionally forgetting to zip up my flyhole and passing foul smelling wind after curry or cabbage (Too much information?)

What is the trait you most deplore in others? Strutting around thinking you are better than others. In my view of life we are all equal and wealth, intelligence or social status are immaterial.

What is your favourite book? I don't really have a favourite book. The idea of it seems quite absurd. There are many books I have enjoyed. At the moment I am reading "Jane Eyre" by Charlotte Bronte and I am enjoying it. It's very easy to consume.

What is your favourite smell? The slightly metallic smell of ozone rising from a city street when rain has fallen after a hot, dry spell of weather.

What would be your fancy dress costume of choice? A tiger (Hull City are nicknamed The Tigers).

To whom would you most like to say sorry and why? The young woman who was raped by a gang of Glasgow Rangers supporters on the train that Zippy and I were travelling on - back to Stirling from Aberdeen in 1975. There was nothing we could do.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Hello, thank you, please, good morning and "take care".

What has been your biggest disappointment? Shirley's two ectopic pregnancies and losing the children that might have been.

What is your guiltiest pleasure? Salted peanuts.

If you could go back in time, where would you go? Back to childhood when Mum and Dad were alive and there was me and my three brothers at home and Oscar our cat. After passing my eleven plus I would insist on going to Beverley Grammar School rather than taking up the scholarship I won to Hymers College in Hull.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you? That it is very short. That there's no such thing as God. That we should be kind to each other.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? In tandem with Shirley, raising two lovely, fun-loving, sensitive and hard-working children

What makes you unhappy? Macroworld: Extinction of creatures and man's encroachment into natural, unblemished parts of our world. Microworld: Not being able to finish the crossword in "The Sheffield Star".

Tell us a joke. Q. What did the octopus say to the oyster? A....Don't be so shellfish.