Phoebe was at our house today. I wish my eyes could perform like a video camera so that I might have shared with you the moment when she lost her footing and fell backwards in our dining room. She was holding her favourite cuddly toy Monty the Sloth at the time and perhaps she was not fully concentrating. Don't worry - she did not bang her head or anything like that. When she stumbled backwards her arse ended up in the wastepaper basket and all of a sudden her little legs were pointing to the ceiling.
The surprised look on her face was precious and Shirley and I could not help laughing before I pulled her out of the wastepaper basket. There were no tears. She just carried on with her happy day that had earlier involved a visit to the children's section of The Central Library and another to "Waterstones" bookshop where Grandma bought Phoebe copies of "The Gruffalo's Child" and "Stick Man" both by Julia Donaldson.
She's upstairs as I write - sound asleep in her cot. Her mum was in London again today so it seemed easiest if we hung on to the little darling overnight. We are so happy to live close by and to be a big part of Phoebe's life.
It's a privilege... but sometimes when I look at her I can't help contemplating my own mortality and the fact that I won't be around to see her when she enters adulthood. I will become just a hazy memory at the back of her mind - an old man in old photographs - her Grandpa. Shame he's not with us any more. Such is the chain of life.
All we can do is to love her the best we can, teach her, listen to her, laugh with her and help her to grow. There will be many more wastepaper baskets to tumble into arse first as the years go by. I am speaking from experience.
Nice comparison of falling in the waste basket of life mistakes. Kids can teach us much if we watch. My grand daughters are 21 and 23 . I'm still around but they didn't live nearby so I missed good times with them.
ReplyDeleteThe distant relationship you describe is so typical of these modern times.
DeleteI worry/think about that as well, especially as I get older. I still forget sometimes I'm sixty. I would have loved to have seen Phoebe go ass over teakettle.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can get Jack to perform the same circus trick!
DeleteMy daughter Cara just introduced our grand daughter to the Gruffalo. She's a fan.
ReplyDeleteAt present Phoebe is in love with both The Gruffalo and The Gruffalo's Child - in book and film forms.
DeleteHow lovely to have Phoebe overnight. I would like to have my twin grand-daughters learn to know and trust me as weel as Phoebe does you, but they live so far away and my tiny flat is not at all suitable for sleepovers. I spent several hours with them yesterday, they've grown so much and are almost crawling now.
ReplyDeleteHow ever much time you have with them, I know you will relish every moment.
DeleteYou and Shirley are great grandparents, as you were and are great parents. Phoebe will remember you more clearly than you think, I dare say.
ReplyDeleteI was blessed with a wonderful granddad who saw me grow up until I was 21. I remember him fondly and wish every kid could have such a granddad. Seems Phoebe is in the same Lucky Club as I!
Love the slapstick scene with the wastepaper basket - it sounds like something out of a cartoon.
You were lucky to have your grandfather as long as you did. Both of my grandfathers were dead before I was born.
DeleteMake a recording telling her what you feel so that she can listen to it long after you have gone and remember her old Grumps.
ReplyDeleteThat is a good idea. It would be like me speaking from beyond the grave.
DeleteYP, you don't know that you won't be around when Phoebe reaches adulthood. Positive thinking - even if by then you're happily talking to yourself in the corner of the lounge of the care home Shirley and the family have chosen to look after you. You've just got to hang on for another 16 or so years - that's nothing these days!
ReplyDeleteFamily history makes me see things realistically. I used to think that it would be wonderful if I could just make seventy and now it seems that I will. Seventy later this year.
DeleteSomething to live for. You being there for Phoebe's sixteenth birthday is plausible. Phoebe's 21st, maybe. Stay well and look forward to such events, even if you might be pushed to her 21st in wheelchair.
ReplyDeleteIf I make her 21st birthday I will be 89 years old. With my genes that isn't going to happen.
DeleteI want to still be around when the twins grow up, at least until they are twenty, which will make me ninety.
DeleteLanslide-Fleetwood Mac began playing in my mental jukebox when I read your very reflective post YP. It's a good post.
ReplyDeleteLandslide even.
ReplyDeleteI went off to listen to it again. Thank you for sending me there Dave.
DeleteI was lost my last grandparent when I was 43 years old, Neil. She was in her 90s and lived independently until the last year of her life. Two others lived until I was 20ish, and one died early when I was 14. You just never know; you might well see Phoebe as an adult.
ReplyDeleteI am afraid that that would be a miracle Jennifer. Both of my grandfathers were dead before I was born.
DeleteMy maternal grandmother was still alive when my first granddaughter was born, so for a while we were five generations of women.
DeleteA funny sight Phoebe tipping into the waste basket, a tale you can tell her when she is going on for 21 years old. Don't be so pessimistic.
ReplyDeleteMy genes and family history mean I will not see old age Thelma. That's the reality.
DeleteAs others have said, don't assume you won't be here. People live a long time these days, especially when they walk as much as you do! The image of Phoebe falling into the waste basket is pretty funny. I'm impressed she didn't cry.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your effort to make me feel more optimistic about the length of my life Steve.
DeleteI am sure she'll remember you with affection and all the fun you had together.
ReplyDeleteI hope so. I will cherish every passing month like gold dust.
DeleteSomewhere along the line, I watched a short movie about a utopian world where everyone can record everything they see with their eyes. Of course it all fell apart as people were constantly replaying the sights that hurt them the most, keeping wounds fresh. It would have been a much different story if they were replaying instances like the one you mentioned above.
ReplyDeleteI am glad I gave you enough information to picture that funny Phoebe moment Ed.
DeleteYou will always be a part of her, no matter how long you live or don't live. I promise you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mary.
DeleteA sweet post, Neil! You are lucky to have this time with Phoebe. You and Phoebe will both always treasure it!
ReplyDeleteI don't get to see my oldest 2 grandchildren very often. We "Snapchat" to stay in touch but not often enough for me! Still, we always end with "Love you!" so that's good to hear.
Like Red at the top that painful distance is part of so many grandchild-grandparent relationships these days Ellen. I am sorry for you.
DeleteCome now. You should live long enough to see her reach her early maturity.
ReplyDeleteDoes early maturity come at seven years old?
DeleteAs others above have already said - one never knows. You should save some of your writings for her though, and photos - that will give her a chance of getting to know you even after you're gone (whenever that happens). My paternal grandfather died when I was 14, and my p. grandmother when I was 24. Now I'm 67 but getting to know my grandparents in their youth, by going through some old letters and photos!
ReplyDeleteI guess it's the realisation that I will not live forever DT and there's so much that I will miss. I want to be there in person - not in photos and letters.
DeleteI totally get that.
DeleteRidiculous! You are being ridiculous! Who says you will not be here? What are you? 62, 63, I think? Phebes is already well into her second year so 18 more and she will be about 20! Well past childhood (if she doesn't fall on her head too many times) and teenagerhood (if her parents can stand those years without going crazy themselves) and into adulthood. Now, come on man, you will barely be into your 80's! The way you walk around the world every day, you might even make it to great-grandpappy! Stop being ridiculous!!!
ReplyDeleteI will be seventy this year Donna. Thanks for trying to make me feel more optimistic in relation to this matter but I know my family history. I will seek to enjoy every moment with Phoebe. My love for her is almost overwhelming.
DeleteAlways remember to be the chronicler of your family, not just in your blog but writing it down as a family history.
ReplyDelete