Eve

New Year's Eve. I should be at home with my family. Instead, courtesy of Virgin Atlantic and my old pal Sir Richard Branson, I will be landing at Cyril E. King Airport in the US Virgin Islands within the next hour. By the way, in case you were wondering , that is Cyril E. King in the top picture. He was the second governor of the US Virgin Islands from 1975 until his untimely death in 1978. It was cancer that got him.

If all goes according to plan, I will be sped directly to Little St James aboard a jet hydroplane that Sir Richard  recently renamed "The Lady Joan" after his late wife.

Text messages from Rhymer on the island reveal that many of the "invited" or should I say, designated guests have already arrived.

As we sometimes say in Yorkshire, "There's no accounting for folk". Some guests greeted their complimentary transport providers with unbridled joy but others raged against the prospect of an enforced New Year break in the Caribbean. They had to be frogmarched into waiting taxis and helicopters and I am sorry to say that a few had to be tranquilised by Laughing Horse collection agents.

Some objected vehemently to the selected venue with Jennifer from South Carolina saying, "Oh dear. Not THAT island. Nope" while mysteriously, Steve Reed, Blogger of the Year in 2016, said, "Oh my. I might have to sit this one out! Bad karma on that island!" Jenny O'Hara,  from Nova Scotia, Canada and overall winner in 2019 referred to "bad juju".

All three of them are currently in transit. I am afraid that they had no choice. They may fabricate tales about ordinary New Year celebrations in their blogs but the truth is they will be on Little St James with the rest of us this very night. It's a bit like wartime - when Laughing Horse calls you simply have to go.

Frankly, I find their objections puzzling. After all, these moaning minnies are getting free transport and a short break on an exclusive Caribbean island with all-inclusive luxury accommodation. Plus the unique honour of witnessing the eighteenth Laughing Horse Awards Ceremony. What's not to like? Here at the very end of 2025, it's nice to spread a little love.

Weather permitting, tonight's awards ceremony will take place around the main pool

Meadowhall

The central dome of Meadowhall  (©Terry Robinson)

On the north eastern outskirts of Sheffield there is a big shopping centre or "mall". It opened in 1990 and it is called Meadowhall. Occupying an area of 1,500,005 sq ft, it is the largest shopping centre in Yorkshire.

People still flock there. It is easily accessible by train, tram and bus and it is surrounded by vast car parks. Meadowhall is very close to the M1 motorway.

To tell you the truth, I rarely go there but ahead of my flight to The American Virgin Islands early on New Year's Eve, I needed to do something about my camera - i.e. buy another one! My favoured "Sony" bridge camera with which I have taken several thousands of photographs had developed an irritating fault - namely a black spot on every image caused by some tiny debris behind the lens.

Getting it repaired would not have been cost effective and besides, no good servants last forever do they? It was time for a new camera - without blowing the bank. I knew that "Jessops" had the modestly priced new Panasonic Lumix bridge camera I was after for just under £400  (US$540).

I decided to travel to Meadowhall by public transport. Using my South Yorkshire Senior Travelcard the journey would not cost me a penny. Bus into the city centre then tram out to Meadowhall and back.

While waiting at the bus stop, another man joined me. His name is Phil and he has lived across the road from us for the past twenty five years. There he and his wife Janet raised two sons - David and Paul. But to tell you the truth, until today I had never really "rapped" with Phil.

He was heading out to Meadowhall too - to get something done about his faulty hearing aids. So we spent quite a long time in conversation together and then - damned me - I met up with him once more for the two  leg journey home.

And it was so nice to talk with him.  Our interaction was easy and balanced,  though we both got fired up when mention of the current US president occurred. We were in total agreement that the guy is abhorrent. Fortunately, we were soon able to lower the temperature by returning to more domestic  chitter-chatter.

And - by the way - I secured my new camera and Phil got his hearing aids fixed. I also managed to pick up a half price Christmas pudding from Marks and Spencers. Perhaps - in the weeks running up to the festive season - I should rename myself Christmas Pudding... just for a while.

Venue

Brigitte

 

What do you blog about on the day that Brigitte Bardot died? Why - Brigitte Bardot of course. What else would there be to say?

Born in 1934, she became an icon in several different ways. A fashion icon, a film icon, an iconic beauty and an icon of France itself. She was desired and lusted after by hot-blooded men across the western world and she in her turn had countless lovers.

She once said, "“I gave my beauty and my youth to men. I am going to give my wisdom and experience to animals” before becoming a powerful advocate for animals. She fought against animal cruelty, the fur trade , hunting as a leisure sport, laboratory use of animals and, most controversially, Muslim slaughter rituals.

Brigitte had just one child - Nicolas-Jacques Charrier - born in 1960  but her relationship with him was always difficult. Initially, she railed against pregnancy and motherhood and it took decades for her to establish a harmonious relationship with her son. I guess that being a sex symbol may not always sit well with simply being a mother.

At my age, I have known of Brigitte Bardot all my life. She was in the same fold as Sophia Loren and Gina Lollobrigida. Beautiful and kind of unattainable, her image manipulated by film companies and magazine photographers alike. It is sad that she has now gone, marking another turning point in cultural history.

The final words are from her: “J’ai été prisonnière de moi-même toute ma vie” which means, ""I have been a prisoner of myself all my life". Finally, the chains have been broken and Brigitte  can fly.

Hiatus

As 2026 creeps ever closer so does The Laughing Horse Awards Night (XVIII). The design for this year's prized widget can now be revealed following heated debate at the highest level in Pudding Tower with input from the sponsors. Here it is...

I feel sure you will agree that this is a stunning, original design that takes widget art to a whole new level. 

As in most previous years, the 2025 Laughing Horse Awards Ceremony will be held at a secret venue on the last day of the year. For the first time ever, key arrangements are being made using artificial intelligence (aka AI) so there should be no logistical problems whatsoever.

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In other news, I have decided to remove the front of our house in order to build a golden ballroom in the garden. Previous occupants of this house always wanted a ballroom and now it's going to happen. I won't tell our neighbours or Sheffield City Council in case they try to prevent the project from even getting off the ground.

To tell you the truth, it is going to be the best ballroom the world has ever seen and the interior will be encrusted with sophisticated golden ornamentation - the likes of which the world has never seen. Yes it is going to be the most beautiful, fantastic  building - like a great palace really - and it won't cost other bloggers a penny as I will be paying for it all with my own money.

Maybe it will be ready for use as The Laughing Horse Awards venue for 2026. One thing's for sure - it will be visible from outer space - its crystal chandeliers sparkling like starlight in the inky darkness.

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In further, unconnected news, today I undertook a long circular and cameraless walk from home. It was split in half by a hot chocolate stop at Forge Dam Cafe where I sat for half an hour by the duck pond reading an autobiography I have just begun.

It was exactly forty five minutes to the cafe via The Porter Valley and then forty five minutes back home via Ivy Cottage  Lane and Bents Green. On neither of these two legs did I pause for even a moment in spite of the gradients. Just kept right on walking in the chilly post-Christmas hiatus.

Forge Dam Cafe in 2019

Xmas

And so my 72nd Christmas feast day arrived. Yesterday the diners assembled at Frances and Stewart's house. There was me and Shirley and Ian, Frances and Stewart, Phoebe and Margot, Stewart's parents - Peter and Cheryl and their other son Richard, his Australian wife Cindy and their little children - Alexander and Florence. They live in Perth, Western Australia.

Stewart had volunteered to take care of the cooking and he did a good job of it. There was roasted turkey crown, beef, ham, roasted potatoes, parsnips and carrots, peas, Brussels sprouts, red cabbage, pigs in blankets, Yorkshire puddings, gravy, cranberry sauce and various stuffings including chestnut stuffing made from the chestnuts that Shirley and I gathered for free from the floor of Sherwood Forest at the beginning of October. They were falling even as we picked them.

Afterwards there was Shirley's excellent vegan Christmas pudding with brandy cream and scrumptious chocolate cake that Cheryl had made.

Gifts were exchanged and everybody was happy. It was a chilled-out, stress-free day. A few alcoholic beverages were consumed but nothing excessive. Our son Ian has not drunk any alcohol throughout this calendar year so when the time came to come home, he volunteered to drive Butch back up the hill through traffic-free streets. It made sense.

A highlight of the day for me was when I got Richard talking about his work as a senior geologist with an international mining company. Essentially, that is why he went out to Australia in the first place. 

As you can imagine, there's much more to mining copper, nickel or gold than might at first meet the eye. Assessments have to be made about the viability of a mine, environmental factors, access to water, international competition and demand as well as the basic geology of the target area. It is never about heading for the hills with a pick axe, a few sticks of dynamite and a heart filled with hope. Richard is clearly both passionate and knowledgeable about his vocation that began with a degree in Geology from The University of Leeds.

And so after the anticipation and the preparation, the gift buying, the wrapping, the eating and the drinking, the carols and the cards, Christmas 2025  drifted away. Let's hope we are all still around a year from now and in good health to celebrate yet another Christmas.

Bottle

Today I received several Christmas gifts but the best present of all was the one that the badgers of  Palmer's Scrubs Wood gave to me down in Bedfordshire on Tuesday afternoon. 

You can see the little bottle in my top and tail images. It is four inches tall and I say "inches" because my brain is still not au fait with any foreign metric systems of measurement. 

At first when I saw the word "Lemonade" embossed on the side of the bottle I was confused. I mean - it's such a little bottle - what would be the point of such a tiny amount of liquid refreshment?

Later, internet research taught me that when the bottle was sold over a hundred years ago,  it would have contained lemonade crystals or powder that could then be used to make up several pints of lemonade.

On laptops in their woodland setts, wild badgers will often trawl through the blogosphere on cold winter nights. If any of them happen upon this humble Yorkshire blog  and see this blogpost, I would like to thank them heartily for their antique glass Christmas gift. Much appreciated.

Mission

Woburn Abbey under a blanket of thick cloud

On Tuesday night I stayed in "The Woburn Hotel" forty miles north of London. Arriving there at midday, I donned my trusty walking boots and set off on a five mile route in and around The Woburn Abbey estate. 

It was somewhere I had never been before which is a factor that always increases my appetite for walking. New sights. New vistas. Everything a bit different from my usual plodding territories.

Though it did not rain, a thick quilt of cloud hung above the land and beneath that canopy the air was still and cold. I wore my woolly fingerless gloves and a Hull City beanie hat too.

As I approached the big house via Basin Pond, I came across a herd of skittish red deer. There must have been a hundred of them and I felt a little apprehensive in case they panicked and ran en masse. In fact, they did that but thankfully just before I arrived. Unlike cattle or sheep, they were so quiet - only the gentle drumming of their hooves upon the grass as they ran away to another corner of the vast country estate.

Later I entered Palmer's Shrubs - a woodland north of the village of Milton Bryan. There I came across the badgers' sett shown below. It had at least three other entrances. After taking the picture I spotted the top of an old bottle poking out of the loose soil around the sett.

It was filthy but I brought it home anyway. Tonight I washed it  and discovered that it was produced by Chivers & Sons Ltd of Histon, Cambridge over a hundred years ago. It once contained lemonade crystals. How it got buried in the sett I have no idea but it was a great find.

Tired in the evening, and having eaten very little all day, I treated myself to dinner in the hotel restaurant. My choice was a classic burger with fries and a glass of Chilean sauvignon blanc. 

Delicious.

Afterwards, I went up to my executive accommodation - The Henry Holland  Room where I watched Arsenal v Crystal Palace on television before reading for an hour. For once, I was in the huge bed long before midnight and managed to sleep for seven hours. Fortunately, Henry Holland did not disturb me.

I was back on the M1 motorway before 8am and at Ian's place in Fulham by 9.30am - ready to bring him home with too much baggage to carry on a train.

Mission with side benefits accomplished.

"The Black Horse" pub in Woburn

Honour

Forget The Oscars and The Golden Globes, The Booker Prize and Sportsperson of the Year because just around the corner the winners of this year's Laughing Horse Blogging  Awards will soon be announced - including the identity of the overall winner and therefore the Blogger of the Year for 2025. Who will it be? Speculation echoes around the blogosphere like Keith Richards's guitar in Madison Square Gardens.

All around the world, blogger excitement builds. After all, a "New Yorker"  correspondent recently suggested that the principal source of blog writing motivation is, "the remote possibility of joining the prestigious Laughing Horse winners list".

Please listen to the music as you slowly scroll back through history...

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The Hall of Fame...

2008 – Arthur Clewley for “Arthur Clewley”

2009 – Daphne Franks for “My Dad’s a Communist”

2010 – John Gray for “Going Gently”

2011 – Ian Rhodes for “Shooting Parrots”

2012 – Kate Steeds for "The Last Visible Dog"

2013 – Tom Gowans for “A Hippo on the Lawn”

2014 – Meike Riley for “From My Mental Library”

2015 – Lee George for “Kitchen Connection”

2016 – Steve Reed for “Shadows and Light”

2017 - Keith Kline for "Hiawatha House"

2018 - Mary Moon for "Bless Our Hearts"

2019 - Jenny O'Hara for "Procrastinating Donkey"

2020 - Cro Magnon for "Magnon's Meanderings"

2021 - Andrew de Melbourne for "High Riser" (Now "From The High Rise")

2022 - Bob Slatten for "I Should Be Laughing"

2023 - David Godfrey for "The Adventures of Travel Penguin"

2024 - JayCee Manx for "Nobody's Diary"

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The venue for this year's Awards Ceremony remains a closely-guarded secret in order to thwart yet another plague of gawping paparazzi invaders. In addition, the unique designer widget for 2025 has not yet been revealed owing to fiery disagreements between top brass decision makers in Laughing Horse Tower. I have it on good authority that this matter will be sorted during the Christmas period..

Home

Chris Rea died today at the age of seventy four. Given the various health issues he had to deal with during his adult life, it is actually quite astonishing that  he made it this far. He was a Yorkshireman, born in Middlesbrough within this fair county's historical boundaries before those idiots in Westminster adjusted our borders without even properly consulting the citizens of Yorkshire. It still rankles.

I will be driving our Ian home for Christmas on Christmas Eve morning, having lodged on Tuesday night in Woburn, Bedfordshire. I didn't fancy two 3.5 hour drives in one day. Besides, I hope to manage a long walk down there on Tuesday afternoon. Cloud is promised but not rain

"Driving Home for Christmas" is an easy, laid back kind of Christmas song that has endured through the decades and it's kind of fitting that Chris Rea finally shuffled off his mortal coil just three days before Christmas. His song will live on for many Christmases to come. Much better than a chiselled gravestone or a black urn. Take it away Chris...

Solstice

Yesterday - near Sand Hall

On the morning of this winter solstice, I lay in bed for an hour after I had woken up. Together, the quilt and the sheets had created a snug cocoon around me and I had no pressing reason to leave it. Over the radio came sweet Christmas songs from Belfast and those monotone perennial readings from "The Bible".

Pulling back the curtains, I looked out on a misty neighborhood. Fog hung like static white smoke and colours had been drained away as if the world outside was fading just as underexposed photographic paper in a dark room is liable to do.

On the morning of the solstice, I came downstairs to boil two eggs which I ate with a single rice cake and a dash of seasoned French sea salt that I bought in 1998 somewhere in the Réserve Naturelle Nationale de la Baie de l'Aiguillon north of La Rochelle, France.

On the morning of the solstice, I thought of yesterday and how I walked in dank river mist down to remote Sand Hall along a bend in The River Ouse, not far from Saltmarshe Hall in East Yorkshire.

Then I drove on to Hull where my beloved Tigers were playing the Birmingham club - West Bromwich Albion. I met up with my old friend Tony and a newer friend - Karl. Both have their own ongoing health issues. Tony had a small stroke earlier this year and because of cancer Karl has had a kidney removed and is beginning a second course of chemotherapy. His prospects are not bright but he is still fighting for the privilege of life.

What a trio! Cancer, Stroke, High Blood Pressure etc.. watching healthy young men battle it out on the pitch. By the way, we won by a single goal - a deft penalty scored just before halftime by Oli McBurnie.

In the early darkness, aboard the "park and ride" bus back to Butch, I sat with a very nice man who lives on the south bank of The Humber. He told me that for forty years he had run his local football club as chairman, secretary, treasurer, bus driver, shirt launderer, counsellor and whatever else might have been required.  At first, he suspected that I was just jossing when I remarked that he deserved a medal but then I explained the huge beneficial impact his unsung work would have had upon the lives of generations of lads and young men. I was being perfectly sincere.

I drank coffee from a flask after I had opened Butch's boot (American: trunk) before driving home to Sheffield on the eve of the winter solstice.

On the morning of the solstice, I sat at this computer keyboard in my study with the anglepoise light shining down as I typed. And I thought of smoky feasts and yule logs burning and dancing and drums and flutes and flagons of cider and holly and ivy and a suckling pig roasting on an iron spit in a bleak midwinter on a day that marked and celebrated the turning of time and the gradual return of light and warmth and snowdrops and tender green leaves and renewal and hope .

Goole Bridge - ten days apart from different banks

Stanage

Yesterday afternoon, I drove over to Stanage Edge. Leaving Butch parked up by a road called The Dale at the southern end of the escarpment, I then walked three miles north to  the triangulation pillar at High Neb. As per normal, a lot of the walk was squiggly and up and down as I negotiated puddles and ancient stone slabs.

It was bitterly cold with the prevailing winter wind buffeting from the south west. I was wearing my orange "Mammot" coat with a hood and I was also glad that I had remembered my woolly fingerless gloves. For me, fingerless gloves are best because they allow me to operate my camera properly.

I watched a kestrel expertly hovering on the wind above the rocks. Intermittently, the bird plunged down with its wings tucked in. It was clearly on the look out for prey but I do not know exactly what it was after. Perhaps a weasel or a resting songbird.  Nearby eleven sheep were half-hidden in the heather as they sought nourishment

At this latitude in mid-winter, the veil of night descends before five o'clock. After a well-deserved rest at High Neb, I realised that I would have to quick march it back to The Dale as the golden orb was already sinking behind the Pennine hills and sure enough by the time I pressed the button on my car key there were only a couple of minutes of murky daylight left.

It was completely dark when I walked into "The Norfolk Arms" at Ringinglow where I ordered a latte and a glass of tap water. Stupidly, I left my car keys on the bar and by the time I had confirmed this one of the barmaids had already phoned Shirley about the discovery. You see, on my keyring I have my name and phone number - something that I would highly recommend to all car owners - just in case.

Some of you may recall that I am currently brewing a poem called "Stanage Edge" and on yesterday's walk some related words came  into my head  - "buttress", "ramparts", "wild" and "defiant" for example. I will mull them over in case, in a poetic sense, they have some purchase.

The triangulation pillar at High Neb

Gingerism

Peter Baker 1939-2019 (aka Ginger Baker)

On Wednesday afternoon, I collected Phoebe from her primary school playground and walked her back to our house. This journey takes less than ten minutes.

On Glenalmond Road some pupils from our local secondary school were passing by also on their way home. They were younger pupils - probably from Y7 or Y8. There were three boys and two girls. One of the girls had red hair - not bright ginger but a colour that contained some honey and copper tinges too.  I suppose that some might refer to her hair colour as "strawberry blonde".

There was some playful after-school banter going on between the kids. Then one of the boys called ahead to the strawberry blonde girl that was she was ginger-haired. "Ginge!" he called and "Ginger!" The girl yelled back that she was most definitely "not ginger". On the surface at least, she took the taunting in her stride. I imagine that it was not the first time that she had had to deal with gingerist banter.

Back in 2009, I blogged about another example of gingerism. It concerned Christmas cards being sold in "Tesco" supermarkets that bore the very unfunny legend, "Santa loves all kids. Even GINGER ones" followed by a picture of a little boy with red hair sitting on Santa's knee. Go here.

In that blogpost I alluded to my past observations of the treatment that ginger-haired schoolchildren frequently have to suffer in secondary schools.  Why should they have to tough it out?

Around 10% of people in both Ireland and Scotland have red hair. The figure is much lower in other European countries, including England. Teasing red haired people is simply not nice and shows a kind of dismissal or disrespect that is invariably very hurtful. In that sense, gingerism belongs in the same bag as sexism, racism and disablism and I mean this most sincerely.

Historically, many people with red hair have even lost their first names - replaced by the label - "Ginger". This does not happen to folks with brown or black hair.

Take the superstar drummer of the progressive rock band Cream for example. Everybody knew him as Ginger Baker but how many were aware that his real name was Peter - yes - Peter Baker? He wasn't "Ginger" at all. The unimaginative nickname was foisted upon him and it became inescapable though he did not choose it and he did not like it.

So my Christmas message to the world is STOP GINGERISM! Treating other people as your equals includes refusing to mock or perhaps even mention the natural colour of someone else's hair.

Neuropathy

On Monday of this week I learnt a new word: "neuropathy". If I had heard it before, I certainly did not know what it meant. The alarming reality is that it was being applied to me by a physician's assistant down at our health centre.

She had my bare feet on her lap and she was testing my reactions to a simple instrument I had never seen before. It is called a monofilament. Please see the top picture.

I kept my eyes closed as she poked the filament on and around my toes, asking what I could feel. I am afraid that this is one examination that I did not pass with flying colours.

In the past fourteen months, I have been teetering around the threshold of Type 2 diabetes. That is why I stopped taking sugar in hot drinks, reduced my alcohol intake and even paid good money for continuing weight loss reduction injections.

Monday's meeting has added impetus to my efforts and the next time I see my doctor I am going to be asking about a prescription for a drug called metformin which helps to reduce blood sugar levels. All my googling makes me wonder why it was not prescribed last year.

As some of you may recall, I recently finished reading "Entangled Life" which has a strong focus upon the underground characteristics of both fungi and plant roots. At the extremities of both systems there are tiny filaments. If the plant or fungus suddenly starts to retract, it is those tiny hair-like threads that die back first.

It is the same with the human body. When able-bodied people are in the vigorous health of youth those internal filaments - our blood vessels and nerves are in prime condition - reaching effectively to every part of the body and functioning well. However, if diabetes starts to creep inside us then those tiny threads begin to retreat and well, die.

We can be like deciduous trees that shut down every autumn, dropping leaves from their extremities as arboreal energy is drawn back into the heartwood. But unlike trees, we will not see spring returning for ahead of us is just the end - sooner or later.

I can walk for miles and my feet look pink and healthy but the physician's assistant was painting a different picture. She warned me about cuts to my feet, told me not to use scissors to trim my nails, be scrupulous about washing and drying my feet and said she would be referring me to a podiatrist. It all came as a shock - I can tell you, especially as the appointment was allegedly for an "annual  hypertension review" which is what I wrote on our kitchen calendar.

Hell, I do not want to end up with amputated toes or sores that will not heal but that could so easily be the way of things. Those who crept into the diabetes nether zone before me never imagined that such things might happen to them.

Throughout my life I have been blessed with good health. My body was just a purring vehicle that carried the inner me through life - into adventures, pubs, love, foreign lands, jobs, libraries, dining rooms, oceans. I guess I took it for granted that it would always function like that until it simply conked out but that might not be the way of things and tonight I feel quite fearful.

Offing

 

It took me a month to read "Entangled Life" by Merlin Sheldrake but "The Offing" by Benjamin Myers only took a week. The novel flowed and made me hungry to read on. The language was rich and fulsome - almost as if Myers was moulding clay or enjoying a good meal.

The only other book by Myers I had read was "The Gallows Pole", recommended here in the blogosphere by Christina from Blackburn and Thelma from "North Stoke". That was a great read. I reviewed it here. So when Shirley told me that her reading group would be talking about "The Offing", I asked her to pass the book on to me when she was done with it.

I was not disappointed. The novel tells the story of a young coal miner's son called Robert Appleyard who, just after World War II, leaves his home in County Durham to have adventures that will keep him away from the pit that is meant to be his destiny.

Near Robin Hood's Bay on the coast of North Yorkshire he encounters a rebellious and intellectual older woman called Dulcie Piper. It is a meeting that will change his life.

Well maybe I should not say much more because I do not wish to be accused of creating spoilers but I will say something about the title. An "offing" is described as “the distant stretch of sea where sky and water merge”. It's like a place that blurs boundaries.

And here's a typical sample of Benjamin Myers's writing:

“At times like this, or when hoeing soil or sanding wood, or just sitting on a bench with my face turned to the sun, I appeared to slip out of the moment so entirely - or, conversely, perhaps was so deeply immersed in the here and now - that I forgot who I was. The slate of self was wiped.”

You might say that "The Offing" is a coming of age novel and it illustrates the point that the course of someone's life can turn on a pinhead - a chance encounter, being in a particular place at a particular time. That's life. For most people, there's a randomness about the choices we make at junctions.

Apropos of almost nothing, I just want end by saying to Meike in Ludwigsburg that an important but never seen character in "The Offing" was German.

Robin Hood's Bay, North Yorkshire

Quiztime

My, how sand flows through the hour glass! Many days have passed since the last exciting edition of "Quiztime". Time for another one I think and for today I had the bright idea of focusing upon words and their definitions etc.. As usual, the answers will be given in the comments section.  Good luck! (You'll need it... tee-hee).

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1. What is a "rapscallion"?

(a) a thin onion often chopped and added to salads  

(b) a kind of pirate ship with two sails

(c) a mischievous or roguish young man 

(d) a copper kitchen vessel with holes in the bottom

2. What is the Latin term for common ivy?

(a) Ursus arctos horribilis (b) Hedera helix 

 (c) Helianthus annuus (d) Ilex aquifolium

3. What does the Russian word "Glasnost" literally mean?

(a) openness  (b) security  (c) hatred (d) it'a a kind of copper samovar

4. What does the word "butt" mean? (Trick question 😄!)

(a) slang term for a human backside

(b) the thicker or blunt end of something

(c) a large cask for beer or wine

(d) to push with the head

5. In Australian slang, what does the word "drongo" mean?

(a) Aboriginal rock mural  

(b) another way of saying, "That's wrong mate!"  

(c) small marsupial only found in Western Australia 

(d) a fool, idiot

6. "phantasmagoria" is a lovely sounding word but what does it mean?

(a) a mental condition akin to  schizophrenia

(b) when an orchestra reaches its crescendo during a symphony

(c)  a shifting, dream-like series of illusions

(d) it describes a location that is allegedly haunted

7. "prattle",  "company" and "pandemonium"  are all collective nouns but which particular bird species  do the terms relate to?

(a) pigeon (b) penguin (c) sparrow (d) parrot

8. If someone is said to be "ostentatious"what is meant by that?

(a) well-educated, knowledgeable  (b) prone to showy displays 

(c) suffering from bone degeneration (d) cunning or sly

9. From which language is the English word "bungalow" derived?

(a)  Hindi (b) Russian  (c)  Swahili (d) Ancient Greek

10.  What is a "costermonger"?

(a) a banker or moneylender

 (b) a travelling minstrel

(c) someone who sells "costers" (i.e. fish)

(d) someone who sells fruit and vegetables

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That's all folks! How did you do?

Balls

 

Balls? I thought that might get your attention for some reason. 

Above that's one kind of fungi known as earthballs and below that's another kind of fungi called  puffballs. I googled images of them sliced open to see how they might compare with the "thing" I shared with you on Saturday night.

I am still no closer to coming up with an airtight explanation. If I had spare banknotes aplenty I might send the curious item off somewhere for chemical analysis.

I should emphasise how light the item is and when you squeeze its surface it is springy - like a sponge. It has no odour and since I sliced it open its inner whiteness has not changed. Just as a reminder, here's the dissected image that I posted on Saturday:-

Maybe it is some kind of sponge for cosmetics or their removal but no amount of googling revealed anything similar.

Ah well, thanks for all the helpful suggestions but  maybe I will never know.

I ended  yesterday's blogpost with this odd line that had Meike in Germany puzzled: "Mama done told me there'd be days like this". It referenced a song that played in my head before I pressed the "Publish" button. First recorded in 1994, that song is "Days Like This" by Van Morrison and for your elucidation and entertainment, here it is:- 

Happy

Detail of Shirley's Women's Institute tree in the cathedral

Please do not worry about me but for the second time in a week, I visited Sheffield Cathedral yesterday afternoon. There is absolutely no chance that I will be converted to Christianity as my belief in atheism is rock solid. All that stuff about the baby Jesus, wise men and  shepherds is a lovely legend that is part of our western culture but in the final analysis it is pure hogwash. Sorry to disappoint you if you had been taken in by the mythology.

I have always loved to sing Christmas carols and that is why I was at the cathedral. I had a front row seat and a song sheet. Shirley was volunteering at the "Age Concern" shop. I was set fair and from my unholy mouth burst forth the following very familiar carols:"O Come All Ye Faithful", "Away In A Manger", "The Twelve Days of Christmas",  "While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night", "Hark The Herald Angels Sing" and "We Wish You a Merry Christmas".

Sheffield Town Hall clock tower and a massive Christmas tree

My singing voice was in fine fettle and perfectly in tune though I say so myselff. I probably overwhelmed the excellent choir of The Sheffield Chorale who were making a guest appearance and slightly frustratingly sang three extra carols  that did not require audience participation. Grudgingly, I must admit that their delivery was damned near perfect.

It was a joyous programme, interspersed with some of the boring stuff - like slices of white bread around pieces  of grilled sausage. You know what I mean - "The Lord's Prayer "  and biblical readings from Micah, Luke and Matthew: "On entering the  house, they saw  the child  with Mary the mother and they knelt down and paid their homage. Then, opening their treasure chests, they offered him gifts of gold,  frankincense  and myrrh."

Sorry folks - but there is no evidence that that happened.

After the service, I had a bowl of delicious carrot soup and a small wholemeal roll in the cathedral cafe before making my way home in the fading light. Past  the town hall, down The Moor then across the inner ring road to London Road and along Abbeydale Road before making a detour down Broadfield Road to take photos of the lion with electric eyes that I have passed several times in the last two months.

For whatever reason, I felt  really happy yesterday - at peace with the world - as I made my way home in the darkness via Carter Knowle Road, Struan Road, Jowitt Road  and  Bannerdale Road. It's a long slog up that hill. Colourful Christmas lights were twinkling in dozens of windows and I helped an anonymous old man with his shopping bags before  getting home to cook rump steaks. In short, I was fully alive, entirely alert and very comfortable in my own skin. Mama done  told me there'd be days like this.

Burger restaurant on London Road

Thing

 

Yesterday, I toddled up our garden to empty the caddy bin in which we collect vegetable peelings, used teabags and other compostable stuff. On the way back, something caught my eye sitting on the bark chipping mulch that covers a little border in front of a laurel bush.

At first, I thought it was either a stone or some kind of mushroom. Crouching down, I studied it for a few moments. When I finally decided to gently lift it, I expected that it would be secured to the earth with a stalk but there was no resistance and it was surprisingly light.

I brought it into the house and asked Shirley to come and have a look at it. She was as puzzled as I was. It weighed very little and had no aroma. How had it got into our garden if it was not growing there? Perhaps a fox had deposited it or a neighbourhood cat or a bird. It remained a mystery.

Next I took a sharp knife to it and with some difficulty managed to saw it in half.  The inside was dense and almost pure white. Shirley decided that it must be a sponge but I was not entirely convinced. I mean, I have never seen a sponge like that before and the shape of it was not entirely regular.

Natural and artificial sponges invariably have a more bubbly textured interior but this thing is uniformly dense.

I have tried googling its identity, searching for likely sponge culprits but to no avail. Maybe Frances or Stewart will know what it is when they come for their Sunday dinner tomorrow afternoon. Also, I guess there's the possibility that you, dear reader, will be able to lead me to a definitive solution.