Tickets

Ring-ring, ring-ring...

"Hello. Wimbledon Ticket Office. How can we help you?"

"Oh hello there. My name is David Beckham*. I would like to speak to your manager."

"Of course. Just a moment Mr Beckham."

"Hello. Deborah Snodgrass here. I am the ticket office manager . How can we help you Mr Beckham?"

"Well, I would like to see the men's final this year and I was wondering if you had any complimentary tickets left in the royal box for VIPs?"

"Oh, for you Mr Beckham. I am sure we can sort something out. How many tickets do you need?"

"Just two Deborah. For me and my oldest son - Brooklyn."

"No problem Mr Beckham. I will leave two tickets for you at reception. You need to pick them up by three o'clock."

"Thank you for  your help Deborah."

"Bye-bye."

 Ring-ring, ring-ring...

"Hello. Wimbledon Ticket Office. How can we help you?"

"Oh hello. I am just phoning on the off chance that you might have some spare tickets for tomorrow's men's final?"

"Excuse me. Who are you?"

"My name is Grace Honey. I have been a tennis fan all my life but I have never been to Wimbledon."

"Are you a celebrity?"

"No but I am well-known here in Bridlington. I have coached children's tennis for the past thirty years, rain and shine."

"Oh. So you are not a celebrity?"

"No. Not really."

"I am afraid we can't help you then. Bye!"

Ring-ring, ring-ring...

"Hello. Wimbledon Ticket Office. How can we help you?"

"I would love to get a ticket for the men's final tomorrow but I am afraid I don't have any money."

"You must be kidding me! If you are not a bona fide celebrity then there's no way we can give you a complimentary ticket."

"But I am dying of lung disease."

"No way!"

"I am a paraplegic!"

"Nope!"

"I  once saw Roger Federer in a Subway sandwich shop."

"Just a minute. I will have to talk to my manager."

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* - for David Beckham, you may substitute 
the name of any other well-known celebrity.