You might have heard the term before but for me it was a new word when I heard it explained on BBC Radio 4 yesterday. It's "phubbing" - a clever conflation of "phoning" and "snubbing". "Phubbing" happens all the time when phone users ignore the people they are with in real life in favour of their phones.
Perhaps one should not blame phone users as much as we should blame the phone manufacturers and network providers. They have created an environment in which millions of people are hooked on their smartphones. For some, it is where their "best lives" reside - in favoured YouTube channels, whatsapp groups, social media and so on. All of that can, I imagine, be very comforting and less challenging than living entirely in the real world.
When Shirley and I were in Newbury, Berkshire we went to a high street eatery. Sitting upstairs in the mezzanine area, I noticed a family of six coming up the stairs. The children were teenagers. They sat at a big table near to us and checked out the menu.
After their orders were placed with the affable waitress, they did not interact as happy families used to do. Instead, all six got out their smartphones and were soon tapping away, chuckling or goggle-eyed as they studied their little screens. This went on for twenty minutes until their food orders arrived. It was as if they were drugged or hypnotised.
I myself have sometimes been a victim of phubbing. Since Shirley acquired her first smartphone she has become more and more enamoured with it and when walking in the countryside with my friend Tony, several natural conversations have been interrupted by his phone. I always feel like saying, "No! Don't answer that frigging thing. You are talking to me!"
Phubbing is yet more proof that this is a mad world. Before I leave this topic, I have a couple of side concerns to share.
All over the planet people are charging their smartphones - often daily or nightly. That's a hell of a lot of electricity being drained from our tired planet. Aren't we supposed to be conserving our resources?
Secondly, why must smartphones be continuously replaced? Manufacturing them is another huge drain on our planet's finite resources. I guess that the prime reason is to keep profits rolling in for smartphone makers like Apple and Samsung. It's a "live for today and forget about tomorrow" business model. "Screw The Earth" should probably be their shared motto.
We have remarked on this phenomenon many times over the past few years. It used to amuse us, watching couples eating out together in a restaurant but ignoring each other whilst glued to their 'phones. Now it seems everyone is doing it everywhere. Even more annoying is that everyone seems to walk around looking at their screens and not trying to avoid walking into me!!!
ReplyDeleteI agree eith you on every point, and will add how dangerous it is becoming with so much false information there is. On our family meals we have a no phone whilst eating rule, but our youngest are too young for phones.
ReplyDeleteI have a cell phone, and I use it at my job every day, but when I am off work I put it down and only pick it up on the off-chance it rings--we use Carlos' phone as the way to reach both of us because he needs his with him more often than I--so I am NOT a PHUBBER? I do not PHUB.
ReplyDeleteComputers play a part in most aspects of our lives. Modern people have smart phones to communicate via social media apps, emails and telephone messages. Even new cars have sat nav. I notice when on trains in England people glued to their lap tops. At airport departure lounges on my own. Nobody seems to speak to strangers and they just look at their phones. Mobile phones are companions when travelling or walking on your own I have read blogs and surf on my phone. When I am camping or at a rock festival in England it's good to use my mobile phone to talk to family. I thinking people reading books in company can be annoying. Like cars I think mobile phones are a necessary evil.
ReplyDeleteNot a Phubber, nor do I Phub - I can't usually remember where I put my phone!
ReplyDeleteI had not heard the word, but I certainly have seen the action. Taking social media off my phone, and declaring it a Facebook free zone, really helped me to leave my phone in my pocket when I around other people. I had lunch with a long time friend the other day, and her watch kept ding-ing with emails and other messages. A good reason to wear an old fashioned dumb watch. I keep a phone until it no longer works, the last one literally went blank before I replaced it.
ReplyDeleteI make an effort to not be on my phone when I should be interacting with my family, but I do like to be able to look things up easily, and as Northsider pointed out, when I'm eating alone while I'm out (rare), it's nice to have something to look at. We ended up getting a smart phone when Katie received an accidental overdose of one of her meds and needed to ask the other bowlers (Special Olympics bowlers), for information on the ER wait times. I also carry it with me while walking, it keeps track of how far I walk, I use the camera, and I can call 911 with it if I fell or tripped.
ReplyDeleteIt's a tool, a highly addictive tool, but still a tool than can be helpful or hurtful. We get to decide.
I've noticed this a LOT and think it is really hurting our society. When I worked at a local college, I would see students walking between classes with their eyes on their phones instead of looking up and smiling and greeting each other. They miss so much going on around them. It bothers me how often my grown kids are looking at their phones instead of interacting with each other and their children.
ReplyDeleteAgree with you 100%. Staring at phones are becoming more important than face to face conversation. When my family is visiting, my rule is no phones at the dinner table. It works wonders for conversations.
ReplyDeleteYou are not wrong about many things you've said here. What I don't know is how we can change that at this point. Like Pixie so many of us use our phones as a very, very handy tool, emergency device, camera (my favorite), directional guide, recipe provider, plant identifier, simple way to answer questions we may have about everything from books to weather forecasts to "who was that actor in that movie with the funny dog?"
ReplyDeleteI'm at the point in my life where I call it my back-up brain. And god, I need one.
At the table, phones should be tucked away unless someone is on duty as a nurse or police officer and may expect to be called away anytime. When we are eating out, we sometimes take a picture to send to our families and friends as well as a memento for ourselves, but that‘s about it.
ReplyDeleteMy smartphone is essential in my daily life because it holds my train tickets etc. and allows me to find connections, check train times and the weather and take photos if I want to. Also, between my Mum, my sister and me, we have an iMessage group where we say good morning every day - a precaution to make sure our Mum is fine.
The actual phone function is what I least use on my phone, and as for social media, I am neither on insta nor facebook or tiktok or X or any of those; blogger is the only one I regularly use, but not on my phone.
PS: As for new phones, I only buy refurbished ones and only after many years of using them, usually when my relevant apps (trainline, DB Navigator, VVS) can not be updated anymore.
ReplyDeleteI could say a lot about this. Having worked with computers since 1980, the most important things I learnt early on was how addictive they are, how to turn them off, and then leave them off. I have a simple mobile phone because I'm dependent on others, but will not have a smart phone.
ReplyDeleteI put my phone in my purse when I'm out and don't look at it. Unfortunately, one time I did that my late mother had fallen, and people were trying to get in touch with me to let them into her house. Generally, I would much rather interact with people than my phone.
ReplyDeleteIt's become almost impossible to manage everyday life here without a smartphone these days. One's mobile phone number has become something of an extra "social security number" here and used for just about anything and everything. Like Meike I'd say that the actual phone function (talking to people) is what I use least on the device, though. Normally I talk very little on the phone, and when I go out for walks etc I usually put it on silent, and only use it as camera. The exception is if I'm expecting some important call (like if I've called someone and asked them to call me back, or if I'm meeting someone who might need to contact me before we actually meet up). But in general, I don't like talking on the phone while being "out and about" at all. Nor do I usually check for messages when I'm with someone else, unless there is some special reason.
ReplyDeleteI have had a smart phone for many years and have a smart watch. I like the ability to check something that comes up in conversation. I agree that some people seem too glued to their phones. We have friends who always have their phones on the table and do not get through a meal without checking their phones and scrolling through something or other…How things have changed from that first fax machine off the Kings Road.
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